


A Proper Family

by Microsoftgirl24



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Child Abandonment, Dreams and Nightmares, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 73,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Microsoftgirl24/pseuds/Microsoftgirl24
Summary: What if at Mrs.Coulter's Cocktail party one of the guests let's slip who Lyra really is to Mrs.Coulter when speaking to Lyra, what if Adele did not get inside the party to begin with. How would Lyra and Mrs.Coulter's relationship and story play out after such a secret is exposed at that point in time?Based on the novels and BBC/HBO show 'His Dark Materials'.
Relationships: Lord Asriel & Lyra Belacqua, Lyra Belacqua & Marisa Coulter
Comments: 97
Kudos: 341





	1. The Truth

The party had begun and Lyra was nervous as ever as she reached to carry the tray of wine flutes into the living room, she glanced over and saw Mrs.Coulter softly smile at her and watch her with her eyes. Lyra sighed and shakily lifted the tray holding it steady as she made her way into the living room towards all of the guests in attendance. Lyra then remembered to smile towards the guests like Mrs. Coulter had told her, to be a charming and delightful young girl seen as kind and endearing to all her guests.

Pan currently was trailing behind her currently in the form of a goldfinch fluttering his wings as he watched and followed Lyra, she passed by multiple guests present with a smile on her face wearing the beautifully perfect dress Mrs. Coulter had gotten her and was fitted for the day prior. Some taking the flutes from the tray all the while greeting Lyra with a smile or a face of thanks and acknowledgment.

Across the room Mrs.Coulter was listening to her guests converse while keeping an eye on Lyra, soon she heard the elevator ding announcing the arrival of Lord Boreal arriving fashionably late. She retreated to the hallway quickly glancing to Lyra as she made her way through the living room she slightly smiled at the sight.

Lyra reached near the windows of the room offering the wine, as she went to turn the other way a lady reached for a wine glass off the tray.

"And where do you go to school, my dear?"

With a smile an elderly lady had asked Lyra in conversation eyeing her with her lorgnette, noticing the features of the girl and her dress.

"I don't go to school"

Lyra spoke truthfully eyeing the room before her eyes landed on the woman speaking.

"Really? I thought your mother would have sent you to her old school. A very good place.." the lady had asked confused and surprised at what the girl said.

Lyra quickly interrupted the kind lady "Oh! She's not my mother! I'm just staying here helping her.."

This time it was the lady who cut Lyra off in further confusion as she looked through her lorgnette once more to really look at the girl.

"I'm quite sure I remember that right, you may forget much at my age....however the news of your arrival happens to be not forgotten"

Lyra showed intrigue and curiosity at the lady's words as gears started to move inside her head.

"Yes, I remember now, when Mrs. Coulter's husband was alive she and Asriel Balacqua had fallen in love it was quite the scandal. She then fell pregnant with you. Major news that all was, you had been sent away to live elsewhere while your mother rose within her work. You happen to even look like her dear, you have her eyes and nose"

At this point, Lyra stood there in shock faint as she listened to this tale, it had all made horrible sense. Everything she had known about her life was a lie.

It began to click inside her head the outburst from Mrs.Coulter the other day during the disagreement proclaiming her Uncle to be a terrible father. Her Uncle keeping it all a secret all this time from her, not telling her the truth. It hurt, Mrs. Coulter had lied to her.

She asked her who her mother was and she lied stating 'it could have been anyone' she wouldn't even look at her. The anger towards her Uncle, her comments about Jordan college protecting her, and hiding the truth.

Everyone had lied to her all this time, Lyra felt the tears burning in her eyes as she stared into space piecing all of these thoughts together.

The lady noticed Lyra's shift in mood

"Oh Dear, are you alright?"

She asked oblivious to the turmoil going on inside the girl's head and heart. Lyra's eyes snapped back to the woman as she quietly excused herself and quickly left the living room moving towards the hallway.

"Lyra" Mrs. Coulter called noticing the girl's expression and tears she worried instantly as Lyra ignored her moving quickly to the hall Pan following her close. "Lyra!" she whisper yelled the girl's name, Boreal noticed her distress.

Pan said nothing as Lyra walked down the hallway, his head down low feeling the pain and emotions from Lyra as they made their way into their bedroom.

Boreal noticed Marisa's anxiousness having noticed Lyra leave the living room and Marisa calling her, he stepped in to help "I'll handle the guests, you concentrate on the girl" he made way entering the living room and approached a group of scholars he recognized.

Mrs. Coutler looked around the hallway "Lyra?" she called softly looking for her. After no response, Mrs. Coulter walked a bit fast down the hallway frantic to find the girl. She then turned to the girl's bedroom opening the door quickly to see if she was in there, Ozymandias followed beside her searching as frantically.

Ozymandias ran to the window right away to look and see moving on its edge to see looking back at Mrs. Coulter, she looked at the window in horror and fear as she moved towards it in fear at what she might see.

Lyra after retrieving the alethiometer from under her chair cushion made her way carefully out the window, Pan following as a goldfinch once more. She shimmed across the side of the building.

"Careful Lyra!"

Pan urged making her be careful and feeling the fear and sadness as she fled Mrs. Coulter's apartment. She needed to get away from that place, away from...

She kept climbing down, finally reaching the metal stairs she raced down them she wanted one thing as she ran the only thing she knew to be true. Roger, she wanted Roger.

She ran out onto the street in her dress and black mary janes with white socks, Pan flying overhead following Lyra as she blindly ran.

"Lyra!"

Marisa Coulter cried out as she placed her hands on the windowsill with the window open as she watched her daughter leave once more, Ozymandias cried out in a low sad screech as they both watch Lyra run away.

* * *

"Lyra. Lyra, slow down"

Pan urged in the dark as Lyra who had been crying for a while wiped away a tear from her face as she breathed a bit heavily, she continued to walk down the stone alleyway looking around to see where she was. Pan following as a cat alongside her, she was worked up and upset.

"We need to get off the streets"

Lyra's fear began to become more prominent as she wasn't recognizing anything around them.

"We need a place to settle for the night"

Pan reasoned trying to calm her down

"I need to find Roger" she cried and sighed as she tried to see around her with it being dark now.

"What use is there looking in the dark?"

Lyra continued to look for something or a place to sleep and or to rest, they came upon a doorway with a closed door with the light on. Lyra then sat down with Pan nearby her "We'll try to keep warm" she sat down in the corner pulling her knees into herself as she cried. The more she thought back she began to sob, she began to shiver a bit more as the cold really hit her when Pan had mentioned it. She hugged herself wondering what would happen next, where Roger was and oddly enough if Mrs. Coulter was looking for her.

"and then we'll find Roger" Lyra murmured softly "Find Roger" she whispered. Pan stared at Lyra in the form of a pine marten with sad eyes, as she spoke to him.

"She lied to us Pan, they all did" She cried as tears ran down her face as she laid her head on the stone.

"I know" he spoke softly.

Lyra cried out "She's...She's.."

"Your tired, try and sleep"

Pan comforted her, Lyra nodded as she cried leaning her head against the stone sighing. She breathed shakingly as she suppressed a sob from escaping, closing her eyes falling asleep after a while.


	2. Lost and Found

Every since Lyra ran far away Marisa Coulter's heart leaped with worry and fear, she never thought her heart would break more than once, especially towards the girl. 

All throughout the rest of the party and long after it ended all she could think about was Lyra. If she was alright, hungry, cold mostly about her alone out on the streets. The fear and worry grew like a lump in her throat and heart as it grew darker, as the guests left she drew herself a glass of tokay for herself before changing her mind going for the harder liquid.

She sat on the couch while Boreal and magisterium forces combed the streets for the girl, as more time went on in the night Marisa grew more and more agitated and anxious. Lyra would have been getting ready for bed had she been here, after giving her a bath. She would be safe in her own bed and not somewhere dark in the night.

Marisa Coulter also had another fear on her mind, wondering and hoping the oblation board members, the gobblers did not find her on the street like so many other children that had been taken. She sighed closing her eyes with horror, she never thought she would grow to spite her own work before. Ozymandias felt spite for these thoughts, the anger towards her own work at the moment. He stared at her as she let tears form in her eyes smudging her mascara a bit before he scowled and she quickly wiped them away as if they never happened. 

The magisterium forces had shown up at her penthouse at three in the morning to tell her they had no luck, she nodded to them as they stated they would continue the search until Lyra was found before leaving. They planned a search of Jordan College the very next morning in hopes of better luck in finding Lyra there.

Marisa Coulter brought a hand to her face and forehead sighing with a shutter having the message sink in, she wanted Lyra back home where she belonged. 

Ozymandias then let the thought of Lyra never being found enter her mind, she then turned to him and slapped him in the head for even thinking the very thought. Walking to the living room she glanced out the balcony window at the night sky wondering and worrying about her child to the point it shocked her. Ozymandias cried next to her looking out as well, sleep did not reach them that night.

* * *

  
  


Morning broke along the sky and with it, the bells of Jordan college rung to announce the sunrise, along with the bells boots could be heard marching on the pavement of those ancient stone streets and walkways.

Marisa Coulter along with a dozen or so men behind her walked and marched into Jordan college where magisterium forces kept guard at the doors. She was on a mission and she was going to find what she was looking for one way or another. 

“Start in there”

She ordered as she pointed to the adjacent door in the courtyard as she entered, she walked with purpose her golden monkey Ozymandias alongside her mirroring her aim to locate what she came for. 

“Find me something heretical or illegal” she gave orders to the men who stayed stone-faced and serious in their black magisterium uniforms. The scholars and visitors watched as this occurred confused and concerned that the magisterium was at the college in the first place. 

The magisterium forces trashed the libraries and hallways as well as offices and rooms full of books and objects searching for what was requested. Throwing things into disarray, daemons making noises such as barking mainly most of the forces having dog daemons. Marisa Coulter stood in the middle of Jordan college overlooking the massive courtyard of grass looking all around hoping to find what she was looking for. She was wearing a silk blue dress, she looked worried and had a bit of sadness in her eyes as she glanced around. 

As she thought she remembered something Lyra had told her about the rooftops at the college, she had glanced her eyes upwards to gaze at the rooftops in search of what she was looking for. 

* * *

  
  


The master sat within his chambers with his daemon perched on the arm of his chair as they waited. Magisterium forces stood outside his doorway, soon his daemon flew away upon the entry of Ozymandias and Marisa Coulter who sauntered in the master’s chamber-like she owned the place, Ozymandias placing himself upon the chair opposite the master. 

“You could make this easier for yourself, just tell me where she is” she told the master softly as she entered, then stopped to stare at the master. 

The master was upset as he stared down at the fire, he spoke softly “I left Lyra with you” he told her the obvious not sure why she would come looking for Lyra after she had been left with Mrs. Coulter. He was upset about the fact that if she was there looking for Lyra that means she had lost her, failed to protect her.

“I trusted you to look after her” he said defensively and hurt that the women had failed to keep Lyra under her protection and within her sight's. 

Mrs. Coulter moved closer to the master walking around to face him “She’s here?” moving closer “or you know where she is”

“I wouldn’t expect Boreal to understand scholastic sanctuary, but you..”

“No master I never, never understood it either” she said as she picked up a book from the master's chairside table.

“Why does scholarship need protecting?” she posed the question as she opened the book in her hands. The master exasperated removed his glasses from his face. 

“You don’t believe original thinking should be protected?” he asked stunned she would see it this way. 

“If it was clever enough, it would find its way to obscure itself from the magisterium. Wouldn’t it” she spoke as she ripped a couple of pages from the book and crumpled them up by throwing them into the fire while still looking at the master in a way to threaten and or irritate him. 

“Scholastic sanctuary is just another way of protecting bloated privilege. Tired old men, talking in a tired old way about tired old things” she stated as she sat in the chair adjacent to the master, as she spoke Boreal then walked in slowly coming to the side of Mrs. Coulter.

Having noticed him she then spoke “ What is it?” wondering why he would interrupt her interrogation with the master to find out what he knows and where Lyra was being kept. 

The master looked at Boreal with distrust and thought as he wondered what the man had to say wondering why it would be important to interrupt Mrs. Coulter. 

“The men have noticed there seems to be a window left open in the girl’s old room which leads to the roof's” he announced knowing it was important.

“Lyra” she whispered with relief a bit as she closed her eyes before then looking directly at Boreal before turning her face directly towards the master who had surprise upon his face. 

“You didn’t know she was here?” she said lowly and realizing that he hadn’t known and had been truthful in not knowing where Lyra was. She then stood up to leave and be lead by Boreal towards wherever Lyra may be and fast as some hope and relief flooded her. 

As she walked away with Boreal leading in front of her, Ozymandias trailing next to her she spoke to the master.

“We are finished Master... for now” 

Boreal along with the Magisterium forces and Mrs. Coulter had made their way to the girl’s old bedroom, Mrs. Coulter entered first as she stepped down the two steps into the room, glancing around at the state of the room. It wasn’t messy, however, the wall paint was peeling off, it was a pale in comparison to the room she as for Lyra at her penthouse. 

This is where Lyra had been staying for the last twelve years, she wondered in surprise. 

“Lyra?” she called softly into the room not seeing the girl, the window is open partially with the wind coming into the room.

She moved more into the room noticing clothes folded on the old wooden dresser, Lyra’s clothes which were left where they were when Lyra left with her on the zeppelin. She sighed looking around, she went over to the bed noticing Lyra’s old clothes were left on the bed. Marisa sat on the bed after looking underneath it for Lyra sighing closing her eyes knowing Lyra wasn’t there. She glanced at the wall where it appears mountains and drawings were made obviously done by Lyra, then she noticed the postcard. 

She grimaced and softened right after she quickly read it, she was in disbelief that Lyra had stolen a boat however the most important take away was she had hung it up on the wall. Before she thought about it more Boreal interrupted her thoughts.

“The window is only slightly ajar, as if some tried to open it from the outside however the lock prevented it from opening” Boreal then unlocked the window before stepping up and onto the rooftop carefully, two men had then followed him outside.

Marisa had stayed sitting on the bed as she stared out the window looking and listening to them search. After a couple of minutes went by Mrs. Coulter then stood up from the bed with Ozymandias pouting watching her as she placed Lyra's clothes on the old wooden dresser. 

“Wait! Over there!” one of the men shouted from outside the window, Marisa moved quickly towards it looking out. 

“We found her!” Boreal then shouted out to Mrs. Coulter, she did not hesitate as she went to make her way through the window herself onto the rooftop. 

Marisa Coulter made haste onto the rooftop with Ozymandias chasing in front of her matching her speed. As she made it onto the rooftop she heard where the men were and made her way over carefully, Boreal then made way to give her a hand.

She saw a bit of blue fabric and dark hair “Lyra!” she cried out making her way over to where the magisterium forces had located Lyra. She was passed out curled up in the fetal position on the rooftop, Pan on her chest snuggled into her neck. 

Lyra was shivering, shaking, and moaning from the cold. Mrs. Coulter had made her way to Lyra's side, she instantly reached for Lyra as the men stood by. She touched Lyra's face, it was ice cold. She held Lyra's face smoothing her cheek with her thumb, Lyra instantly leaned into her touch for the warmth and comfort. 

"She's ice-cold!" She quickly glanced at Boreal who quickly ordered the men to find a blanket and to bring the car around calling all the men to halt the search for the girl. 

Marisa then lifted Lyra up into her lap holding her to warm her up, she was too cold and she was worried beyond belief. Ozymandias reached out to rub Pan's back to provide warmth and comfort just like her. She stroked Lyra's hair and pushed it away from her face, then the men came back onto the rooftop with a blanket. This would be the first time she held Lyra since the child was born, she held her for a while that day not letting go before Asriel snatched her away stating it would be best for the baby if he took her where Edward would not find her.

How wrong had he been when Edward tracked them down to kill them, then the shame of it all.

Boreal came over to the girls grabbing the blanket from the men and handing it to Marisa who then wrapped Lyra completely in it to warm her up. 

“Lyra” she whispered touching Lyra’s face softly. “We are going home” she whispered to the girl, even though the girl was asleep silently reassuring her she was safe in her arms. 

Lyra must have been on the rooftop most of the night all the way until they found her, she was freezing. The men made moves to help them carry Lyra off the roof, Mrs. Coulter did not wish to hand them Lyra to carry not wanting to let go physically. 

Boreal then reasoned that he could carry her through the window, Marisa followed after him closely not letting Lyra out of her sight again. Boreal lifted the girl in his arms her feet dangling her head being supported, still wrapped in the blanket. 

They made their way through the window, once more now with Lyra secure. Boreal along with Mrs. Coulter and the Magisterium forces they brought with them made their way to the car. 

As they were crossing the courtyard, the master had watched them with Lyra, he sighed with relief when seeing her however was still worried realizing the girl must have been on the roof the whole night. 

Marisa Coulter quickly got into the automobile first then afterward Boreal followed with Lyra in tow lowering her on the seat next to Mrs. Coulter practically leaning entirely on her. 

Boreal then got in on the other side of Lyra closing the door behind them, the driver of the car then took off taking them to Mrs. Coulter's penthouse once more. The heat was turned up in the automobile to try and warm up Lyra who was still shivering against Mrs. Coulter. 

Lyra moaned in her sleep seeming distressed, Mrs. Coulter then began to shush her and pacify her back into a calm sleep. 

After a couple of minutes of silence, Boreal chose this moment to speak. 

"Do you know why, she ran away?" He asked curiously wondering after searching for her.

"I had to ask around, however, yes I do ...she found out who I am to her" she fixed Lyra's hair as Pan shifted in his sleep, Mrs. Coulter's arms around Lyra. 

"She's going to have questions" he pointed out knowing she would be busy with the girl, he may have time now to conduct business in Oxford. 

Mrs. Coulter sighed "I know" she looked at Lyra with a fondness and some sorrow of the past. 

She was worried, Lyra was still so cold she's never been in a scenario like this before worried for another. "She's so cold, who knows how long she's been on that roof" the girl still shivering and shaking wrapped in the blanket, snuggling into Marisa for warmth.

"Probably all night, it might be best to have her checked out" he suggested knowing it would be best, she silently agreed.

Eventually, they arrived at the penthouse building, Mrs. Coulter followed Boreal up to the penthouse through the lift. Marisa opened Lyra's bedroom door and quickly undid the covers. 

Boreal then laid Lyra down on the bed, making sure her head was upon one of the pillows. Mrs. Coulter then fused with Lyra for a minute taking off her shoes gently before laying the covers on top of her. Mrs. Coulter removed the handbag from Lyra gently placing it off to the side for a moment, to free Lyra and make sure she was comfortable as she slept. 

She then met Boreal out in the hallway, she sighed glancing into Lyra's bedroom. 

"Thank you, Carlo" He nodded a bit and looked at her with a bit of lust and intrigue. 

"I have some business, I must attend to. Until next time" he then raised her hand and kissed it before walking to the elevator and leaving smoothly. 

Marisa Coulter watched him go dwelling upon the thought of the man for a second before remembering about the girl. 

She made her way back into Lyra's bedroom which was how it was left since yesterday. Marisa then changed Lyra into pajamas and out of her dress delicately. In the process, she had shifted Pan off of Lyra and onto the pillow next to her. She placed the blanket that Lyra had been wrapped in off to the side and retrieved Lyra's grey fur throw blanket placing it on top of the sleeping girl smoothing it out and tucking her in. 

As she cared for Lyra so many thoughts went through her head on how she was going to talk to Lyra about why she had run away. It was a talk she had been putting off since she showed up at Jordan college back into Lyra's life only to whisk her away to live with her in London. 

In her shame of it all, she would have to remember the past and her sin. Asriel. Edward. The fight. Edward's death and her shame. However, through it all, she now had Lyra. Her Lyra.

She was never letting her out of her sight ever again. 


	3. Look After You

Marisa Coulter had put Lyra’s shoulder bag on her dresser in her bedroom, she felt the strap of the bag for a second. Thinking back on the fight over it and what had occurred. She glanced back at Lyra who was still asleep and seemed to not be waking soon Marisa grew worried as more time wore on as Lyra failed to stir. 

Mrs. Coulter had taken Lyra’s dress in for washing, putting away her shoes and clearing things away. She then checked on Lyra, she sighed in nervousness as she slowly made her way towards the sleeping child. Lyra’s chest moving up and down when breathing being the only thing that eased Mrs. Coulter's mind that Lyra was safe. 

As she drew near to Lyra she leaned down near Lyra and watched her sleep, she was a bit peaceful however her face scrunched up a bit. Marisa then noticed as she moved to fix Lyra’s hair brushing along her face, she noticed something. 

Mrs. Coulter instantly soothed Lyra as she grew readily concerned as she had when looking for Lyra as she placed the back of her hand upon Lyra’s forehead. Quickly checking her temperature, the girl’s forehead was too hot for being so cold before. 

“No” Mrs. Coulter softly whispered as she realized Lyra had a growing fever, she brushed her thumb along Lyra’s face before turning to quickly leave the room. Ozymandias grew concerned and cried as he leaped on the bed softly watching Lyra and Pan sleep as Mrs. Coulter quickly ran to ring for help.

A children’s doctor had been contacted for a home check-up, Mrs. Coulter was growing more and more concerned as Lyra seemed to get worse. She stayed within the bedroom by the door as the doctor who was a kind old man checked Lyra over, he checked Lyra’s lungs first with his stethoscope listening to her lungs as Mrs. Coulter hovered anxiously. Ozymandias pacing back and forth on the carpet in front of the bed. 

The doctor sported white hair and a mustache along with thick glasses. He wore a yellow dress shirt and red tie along with slacks and a white doctor's coat. 

  
  


The doctor noticed as he moved Lyra’s shirt to check her heart that there was bruising near her right arm, indignant to someone grabbing hold of her harshly, the doctor moved the girl’s arm upward only for Lyra to moan slightly in discomfort. 

Mrs. Coulter who had been watching the doctor’s every move, noticed the bruises herself and sucked in some air in surprise. “She has some bruising along her right arm, do you happen to know how?” the doctor then turned to Mrs. Coulter for an answer as he scrunched his eyes in question, he noticed the concern in the woman for the girl.

Mrs. Coulter then came over and inspected the bruises herself seeing hand marks, she grew with anger knowing herself wouldn’t have done this. During their disagreement she hadn’t physically touched Lyra, she would never. 

“I have no idea, she does like to climb about” noting Lyra’s hobby of climbing everything especially considering where they found her. 

  
  


“That’s what you would assume bruising like this to be with children, however, there is a distinctive feature on the bruising assuming it was done by force” the doctor advised concerned eyeing the women, she didn’t seem to be angered or nervous so he assumed she wouldn’t be responsible. 

Marisa Coulter’s head began to turn as she then wondered how perhaps she was attacked when she ran away. Possible by magisterium agents such as the gobblers, might have fought-

“It must have occurred about a week or so ago for they are already healing” 

She furrowed her eyebrows wondering, Lyra was still at Jordan College when this had to have occurred. Then a horrifying thought entered her mind. Asriel, he wouldn’t have. Would he, he was the one who took her away looked after her.

Her eyes became moist, as she tried not to think about it in the presence of the doctor. Marisa then sat on the edge of the bed, as the doctor did not question more and continued his examination. 

The doctor then checked Lyra’s temperature, he took his thermometer out of his brown leather visit bag. He went closer to Lyra placing the thermometer into her mouth watching as the red increased slowly. After a second or two he retrieved it and brought it close to his eyes holding it up to read, he sighed reading it.

Mrs. Coulter watching waiting for him to tell her, wondering how Lyra is. The doctor then turned to Mrs. Coulter noticing the look in her eyes. Ozymandias peering over the edge of the bed from the floor looking at Lyra and Pan sleeping.

The doctor then began to pack his tools away, making sure Lyra was alright before being lead out and followed with Mrs.Coulter.

“She has a high fever and must be given a fever reducer, it appears from the cold she was just spared from hypothermia. It was a good thing finding her when you did, given the circumstances. The main concern is that even though the fever she has yet to wake up is that correct?” he turned from looking at Lyra to Mrs. Coulter who wouldn’t take her eyes off Lyra.

Mrs. Coulter sighed as she then began to run her fingers through Lyra’s hair “She hasn’t woken since we found her. I’m awfully worried” she said then looking to the doctor, he smiled softly at her.

“It is probably from her fever, once that begins to break up she should come around. If she fails to stir after a day then I would worry, if so reach out to me again. I’m giving you the fever reducer to administer, it is a liquid that shall be taken twice a day” he told Mrs. Coulter softly instructing her as she kept glancing from the doctor to the girl sleeping with the room from the doorway. He reached into his bad for the medicine, handing it to Mrs.Coulter with care. 

Mrs.Coulter then followed and lead him to the lift, smiling softly at the man grateful for his help. The doctor getting into the lift then said “Don’t worry your daughter should be fine” the doctor smiled softly as the lift then began to close.

Mrs. Coulter heard him in shock that the man had known, she had her mouth open agape for a second before closing it not responding for the doctor had gone. Marisa Colter stood there staring at the golden metal closed lift breathing in and out her mind wandering, she tried to not let her emotions play out. 

Some tears began to form in her eyes, as she wiped one away she heard a noise. She quickly made her way back to Lyra’s bedroom seeing Ozymandias peering out the door looking for her before he leaped onto the bed gesturing to Lyra. 

Mrs.Coulter entered the room and noticed right away Lyra was moving under the covers, her hair wet with sweat. Mrs.Coulter rushed over to her bedside sitting on the edge of the bed as Lyra tossed and turned while moaning. “Nnn, nnoo” Mrs. Coulter then hushed Lyra “Lyra” she whispered delicately, Lyra then began to thrash her arms “Roger!” she cried out for her friend, Marisa grabbed her arms hushing her calling her name “Lyra!” 

Grabbing hold of Lyra’s arms as she then took hold of Lyra holding her tight against her chest, she held Lyra’s head and began to rock her and hush her soothingly. “Lyra it’s alright…” she continued to hush her calming her down as Lyra settled as soon as Mrs.Coulter took her in her arms.

Marisa Coulter had no idea what she had done until it had happened, her child was in distress and she just calmed her down based on instinct. She began to feel something akin to something she wouldn’t admit, she loved her with everything she had.

Ozymandias happened to be petting Pantalimon as he slept like Lyra, curled up on the pillow content sleeping peacefully. 

Mrs. Coulter then remembered the medicine the doctor had given her for Lyra to take, she needed to take it to bring down her fever. She uncapped the bottle and took the measuring spoon pouring out a dosage, carefully not to spill it as she held Lyra in one arm and the medicine in the other. 

Mrs. Coulter then brought the spoon to Lyra’s lips inching it further in for Lyra to open her mouth a bit, she eventually did allowing the medicine to go down Lyra swallowing it. Mrs. Coulter sighed as the medicine was consumed, she held the spoon to Lyra’s mouth until there was no more. 

“There” she whispered as she took the spoon from Lyra's mouth and placed it on the bedside table with the medicine bottle near the lamp. 

Marisa held Lyra in her arms her thumb running along Lyra’s cheek looking at her, oh how was she going to explain things. “Soon you’ll be all better” Mrs.Coulter said more for herself, trying to reassure. 

Mrs.Coulter had looked to the wall in thought for a while just holding Lyra tight, just as she had done after the very first time the girl stayed the first night at home after giving her a bath. 

Thinking back on her childhood herself and memories of the past, she failed to notice Lyra’s eyes fluttering a bit and her slight shifting in her arms.

“Mrs. Coulter?” Lyra then asked barely a whisper so soft.


	4. Why Did You Leave

Marisa Coulter breathlessly spoke “Lyra” she spoke so softly, her gaze brought to the girl's face where she was squinting through the light as she was still sleepy. Lyra slowly began to move within Mrs. Coulter’s arms, Marisa felt a great sadness when Lyra slid slightly out of her arms. 

Lyra’s mind caught up to her after a second or two, she felt warm and for some reason, she felt safe. Waking up, she remembered what had happened last. She couldn’t sleep in the alleyway that night, so she ventured onward half asleep towards Jordan College hoping to find Roger still there somewhere.

Lyra was confused about how she was in Mrs. Coutler’s flat and even then in the woman’s arms, which scared Lyra on how she felt comfortable and safe in them. Then she remembered the cocktail party and what the kind woman had said. Lyra slid herself out of Mrs.Coulter’s arms lying back on the soft pillow, as Mrs. Coulter gazed at her longingly and with such guilt in her eyes taking Lyra by surprise. 

Averting her eyes Lyra then sensed Pan, out of the corner of her vision on the pillow beside her. He quickly made his way into her arms proclaiming “Lyra” she hugged him fiercely as some tears sprang to her eyes holding him. Lyra had laid down on the pillow on her side hugging him tightly, as she silently cried and held back sobs. 

They had been so scared, it was dark and very cold when they had walked for what seemed forever, Lyra had run away through the night. Some men had tried to take her, some gobblers only to fend them off by kicking one of them hard to escape. Lyra had run like her life depended on it, her heart beating wildly as she had been so scared and cold. 

  
  


Lyra then asked in a whisper as she shook holding Pan still to her chest protectively. “Where?” Mrs. Coulter had tears in her eyes as Lyra asked. 

  
  


Mrs. Coulter then reached out a hand to Lyra’s face, Lyra then slid away flinching from the touch. Breaking Mrs. Coulter's icy cold heart in the process at the damage and affection lost from the girl especially after having gotten to hold her, give her medicine, soothe her fever and soothe her in her sleep. 

“You had run away, I was so worried...so scared. Lyra..” she looked at Lyra fiercely with such emotion that the girl had never seen on the women before. Lyra turned her eyes from the pillow, as she felt Mrs. Coulter then take hold of her face with one hand holding it wiping a tear softly away from her face with her thumb as it fell. 

Lyra silently cried and breathed as she tried to control herself, she chanced a look at Mrs. Coulter as she asked. “Why?” Mrs. Coulter knew this was coming, she never thought how fast it would be hoping to take Lyra in and avoid ever telling her the truth. 

Mrs. Coulter sat on the bed in front of Lyra from the side as Lyra stared at her with hurt in her eyes, she met Lyra’s gaze “That woman she told you..what I was to you” Lyra just stared at her, her eyes red from tears and crying still exhausted and suffering a bit from her fever. 

“Well you know now” Mrs. Coulter stared at Lyra with something unexplainable as memories of her past swirled inside her mind. She looked down at the fur blanket “ I can answer all your questions..if you have any questions” she then slowly looked back at Lyra once more. 

“ I do” Lyra whispered so soft Marisa barely almost didn’t hear it, she just stared at her meeting each other’s eyes. Lyra was still very sleepy and felt very distressed still on edge from running all night and her fever. 

Mrs. Coulter then reached for the nightstand where a glass of chamomile was sitting that had brought for Lyra when the doctor had come. It was next to the medicine and a bowl of water with a cloth in it. 

“Here” Mrs. Coulter then brought the glass to Lyra's lips tipping it, the girl not drinking it when she did so. Lyra weary of what it was, Mrs. Coulter then sighed in slight defeat when Lyra did not drink it. “Drink this, can’t say it will cure anything, but it will certainly make you feel better. Infusion of chamomile, it’s what my mother fed me when I had been upset” Mrs. Coulter explained what the drink was to ease Lyra. “and it worked most of the time. I was quite the emotional child by all accounts” she spoke with some wistfulness comparing herself in a sense to Lyra. 

She then once again brought the glass to Lyra’s lips, offering it to her this time Lyra drank it before taking hold of the glass herself. Mrs. Coulter sighed in slight satisfaction as Lyra took the drink from her, she made some progress. “Good” she then began to think of how to explain everything to the girl. 

“I can guess the first question” Mrs. Coulter began looking to Lyra while glancing away at times “ and the answer is that I...I didn't keep you because it wouldn’t have been good for either of us” she looked Lyra in the eyes telling the truth.

She tells the half-truth next “and Asriel had ideas about what was best so I let him pursue those ideas but it wasn’t because I didn't care. I just wasn’t equipped at the time” she gazed at Lyra with some sadness as Lyra then looked down sadly thinking of all those years at Jordan College. 

Uncle Asriel appearing once in a blue moon, showing little to slight interest in her and her showing every interest in him. Always empty promises of the north and him pushing her aside like he pretended she didn’t exist. Parents who had died when she was a baby, all being a lie to her face. Her parents hadn’t wanted her, focusing on their lives and careers all while she played orphans with Roger running the roofs of Jordan College alone. 

Mrs. Coulter softly cried “Lyra” she reached out holding her face in her hands brushing Lyra’s hair from her warm face. “ I never meant to hurt you, you must see that” she spoke trying to convince Lyra her twisted truths, she may care now however all those years she never even thought of her for a second. 

“You never meant to hurt me?! You didn’t even think to write me at least one letter, you never even tried to see me. All those years at Jordan College, I was alone. He did too, both of you left me to be an orphan abandoning me for years” Lyra cried at Mrs. Coulter as she spoke through her pain as tear built in her eyes once more. 

Mrs. Coulter had nothing to say for a moment, Lyra continued “Why…...why now do you…” Lyra desperately asking wanting to know why Mrs. Coulter even took her in after all this time. 

Mrs. Coulter had tears in her eyes as well as she looked at Lyra “I wanted you” Mrs. Coulter exclaimed almost shouting surprising herself at her exclamation. “ I wanted you Lyra, I still want you…” she sighed as a tear fell, she softly smiled in sadness as she explained “ A couple of months after you were born, after everything...after everything fell apart. I searched for you, the magisterium sent you to a nunnery afterward. I had tried to find you reaching dead ends only to find out Asriel had taken you to Jordan College of all places for a baby to be. I was forbidden from all contact with you for years, under the law of scholastic sanctuary. I was only allowed to have you now for the fact the magisterium sees Asriel as a criminal on the crimes of Heresy” Lyra listened to everything Mrs. Coulter said catching that Asriel was a criminal right now wanted by the magisterium. 

  
  


Mrs. Coulter had tears in her eyes as well as she looked at Lyra “I wanted you” Mrs. Coulter exclaimed almost shouting surprising herself at her exclamation. “ I wanted you Lyra, I still want you…I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you” she sighed as a tear fell, she softly smiled in sadness. Lyra listened to everything Mrs. Coulter said as she tried not to cry once more, she didn’t know what to believe however she does know from the look into Mrs. Coulter’s eyes that she does want her now. Lyra breathed as her eyes drooped a bit with tiredness, Mrs. Coulter softly smiled her as she sniffled and wiped a tear from her face. “Lyra” she whispered with affection, she gazed at Lyra with relief showing the emotions she has had worrying over finding Lyra and with Lyra running away as well falling ill. “I can’t tell you, how happy I am to have found you again” she breathed with sincerity as she brushed Lyra’s hair away from her face soothing her.

Lyra stared at Mrs. Coulter as multiple emotions are being felt “ I can’t tell you how happy I am to be found” after their ordeal of running away and facing those gobblers in the dark of the night.

After a second Mrs. Coulter knew she had to know, what Lyra wants. “Now is the time to choose a side. Now is the time to choose who you belong to...once and for all”, she softly spoke letting Lyra know the situation at hand. She had to choose who she would belong to.

  
  


Lyra’s eyes began to fall shut as she tried to battle away from the sleepiness and tears, Mrs. Coulter continued to look into Lyra’s eyes with such a longing fearful of Lyra’s answer. Lyra thought hard on everything stacked together and what the situation presented with all this information.

She looked back at Mrs. Coulter “You found me, he didn’t….and your my mother” Mrs. Coulter’s eyes filled with tears once more as Lyra’s words registered. 

A tear fell as Mrs. Coulter inhaled shakily breathing in through her tears she admitted out loud to herself and to another “I am your mother.” she whispered with such emotions as she smiled lovingly soft at her daughter.

Lyra then with feelings of her own, reached for Mrs. Coulter’s hand bringing it to her face to hold wanting to feel her touch once more placing her head on her hand against the pillow closing her eyes her little fingers holding onto her mother’s hand. Something Lyra had yearned for and mourned would never happen, she would feel her mother’s love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, someone commented that I should not make Asriel evil in this and after some thought, I agree. However, it does not mean they will not fight for custody of Lyra. Heartache and angst will still ensue.


	5. Learning to Care

Lyra had fallen asleep, warming up underneath the warm covers. They had been perfectly laid upon her the fur blanket the outer layer. Pan had moved to lay by Lyra’s side on the fur blanket curled up asleep with Lyra. Ozymandias was perched on the windowsill calm, watching Lyra’s chest rise and fall for hours.

Marisa Coulter had taken herself to only be down the hall in her study where she worked at her desk along with a crystal glass of harder alcohol, she poured over her correspondence with Bolvanger and her notes from the general oblation board trying to figure out how to calm down the noise they had made recently. 

Thinking it through they would have to halt taking any more children and hiding them out of sight without a trace, mainly from the gyptians. Now it was simply a waiting game until things cooled down, if anything were to crop up she would simply use the cards up her sleeves. Asriel was under lock and key in Svalbard nice and tight, unaware where Lyra currently is. For now, he was dealt with. Marisa sighed as she thought back to when Lyra had fallen asleep. 

She had fallen asleep on Mrs. Coulter’s hand after exhaustion had won out, still ill and suffering from her fever. Marisa had stayed with the girl for a long while before she finally shifted away from her hand from her face gently replacing it with the pillow. Retreating to her study where she is now and had been until before dinner time. Looking at the time, she stood to check on her d...Lyra.

Walking down the hall, it was quiet in the penthouse as she made her way to the doorway of Lyra’s bedroom. As she quietly glanced in for second still had the fear of Lyra disappearing once more, even though Ozymandias was with her. Marisa did receive a surprise when reaching the doorway and glancing in, she saw a sleeping Lyra with Pan curled up on her side what took her by surprise was Ozymandias, who was on the pillow near Lyra's head calmly curled up. 

Marisa made her way into the room hearing Lyra’s breathing as her chest rose and fell, she took a seat in the comfortable chair besides the bed next to the bedside table. As she lowered herself in the chair softly not making a sound, she sighed glancing briefly at Ozymandias who had moved to perch on top of the headboard since. Mrs. Coulter reached out a hand after noticing sweat above Lyra’s brow, reaching for the bowl of water she took the rag wetting it with cold water then ringing it out. When she was a child her mother had the nanny come tend to her for the most part when she fell ill, there was no nanny for Lyra. Marisa preferred it this way, being this close to her anytime she could. Not knowing what possessed her, like something had been awakened. 

It all started when she had seen Lyra at Jordan College, and grew, even more, when the girl had hugged her growing each and every moment. 

Placing the cool rag upon Lyra’s forehead, trying to cool down her fever; she moved the damp stand of her hair out of her face. Lyra whimpered in her sleep as she moved her head in her sleep, Pan then began to move his paws in his sleep like he was running. Lyra began to move as well, all too quickly. Ozymandias jumped up watching Lyra looking to Marisa, she reached out to touch Lyra’s face as sweat dripped down the girl’s face. 

Lyra then shouted out “No!” as she moved in her sleep like she was fighting off an invisible enemy, Mrs.Coulter stood up going closer to Lyra she reached to stop the girl. “Lyra” she said trying to calm the girl down, grabbing hold of her arms. Ozymandias watched cautiously keeping his eyes mostly on Pan. 

“Help!” Lyra cried out as some tears fell from her closed eyes, Mrs. Coulter finally grabbed hold of one of the girl’s flailing arms bringing them inwards. “Let go of me!” Lyra cried in fear, her fever fueled nightmare making her relive the other night. Mrs. Coulter then gently took Lyra into her arms getting onto the bed, she shushed her holding her tight placing her chin on the girl’s warm head.

She then rocked them slowly “Shhh my darling it’s alright, Mama’s here. You’re safe, my love” holding Lyra close to her, she held her head to her running her fingers through her hair. Lyra slowly calmed down after a bit as Mrs. Coulter had done so. Lyra after a couple of seconds just silently cried breathing through her mouth fighting off sobs. Mrs. Coulter still shushing her and rocking, like she had done when she first held her as a babe. 

Lyra slowly woke up a little hearing the voice soothes her, she felt safe. Anything would have been safe after those gobblers almost took her, it was so real, like it had just happened. Lyra shook with sobs and shivers from her fever, as she let Mrs. Coulter hold her so. She never had this before, Asriel hadn’t been one to be around Lyra unless before he left Jordan recently putting her to sleep. Perhaps this what it was like having a mother, she had seen Ma Costa hold her children so. 

Lyra murmured into Mrs. Coulter’s chest “ I was so scared, they almost took me” she cried softly, as Lyra said so Mrs. Coulter froze completely. She then became rigid for a second before Lyra began to notice and slowly started to shift away, Mrs. Coulter then held her tighter and continued to rock once more. “Who did Lyra?” she asked softly an underlying tone of threat, not towards Lyra as she realized. 

“The gobblers” something in Marisa Coulter snapped, her true worst fear had come to light, they had almost taken Lyra; she held the girl a bit tighter to her. She stayed silent for a second her mind wandering with such hate and fierce anger, she had to suppress. 

At Lyra’s new cry, Marisa was brought back to the girl as her tears flowed. “Lyra n _o one is going to harm you_ . **_No one is ever going to harm you, you have my word on that_ **” she vowed to her, with every emotion and conviction that it eased Lyra making her feel even safer. Marisa Coulter would allow no more harm to come Lyra’s way, anyone and anything in her way would fall. In due time she would educate her people on when people come near what is dear to her, in due time right now she needed to focus on Lyra. 

“They did, I got away” Lyra cried into Mrs. Coulter's chest.

Her fear was completely confirmed, from the mouth of her own child almost taken by her own people. Mrs. Coulter then continued to shush her and rocked Lyra once more, she then brushed her hand along Lyra’s forehead moving her hair in the process feeling it for her fever. It was still present and was if anything warmer, she noted it was time for the second dose of the medicine in the day like the doctor had suggested. 

Mrs. Coulter leaned back against the headboard of the bed, Lyra held closely to her. She then reached for the bowl of water and the cloth once more on the nightstand, she wet it soaking in some cool water before squeezing it out a bit. She then shifted Lyra in her arms, bringing the cool cloth to her forehead which made Lyra whine a bit from the cold shivers come back once more. 

“Lyra, you have a fever. It will help” she reassured her, as Lyra let her hold the cloth to her forehead. She slowly lowered Lyra onto the pillows once more, softly dabbing her face before getting fresher water from the bowl onto the cloth once more before leaving it on her forehead. Lyra shivered at the clothe her body shaking as she south to remove the blankets from herself, Mrs. Coulter stopped her fixing the covers and blankets over Lyra tucking her in properly. “Lyra, you need to be under the covers” she chided knowing the girl was just ill. 

Pan had freed himself from the blankets as well escaping like Lyra had, only to be stopped by Ozymandias grabbing him and bringing him gently over to Lyra and Mrs. Coulter, placing him on Lyra where he then curled up against her covered slightly by the covers.

Mrs. Coulter stared at Lyra who had her eyes closed, however awake at the moment. She then moved a piece of Lyra’s hair behind her ear “ You need to eat something, you haven’t been awake and you haven’t eaten since..” she couldn’t bear to say when she ran away not wanting to dwell and remember the terrifying thought. 

One of the servants then brought a tray of broth with a bedside tray which was laid on Lyra’s lap, she opened her eyes to the broth. Mrs. Coulter then fixed her bowl and spoon filling up a spoonful of the broth bringing it to Lyra’s mouth. 

“There, good” Lyra let her feed her a spoonful. When she reached for another, Lyra then took her hand and the spoon herself softly before she began to feed herself.

Mrs. Coulter made sure Lyra ate the soup, Lyra glancing at her as Pan poked his head out slightly from the covers placing his head on Lyra. “Aren’t you going to eat?” Lyra asked curiously, noticing the woman had no soup of her own. “I shall once I make sure you do” she admitted, stating her priorities. Lyra then stopped eating the soup and stared at Mrs. Coulter with what one would consider pleading eyes. Mrs. Coulter sighed eyeing her back in a staring contest before she conceded seeing no harm. 

Mrs. Coulter called the servant back who brought her, her own bowl of soup in which she began to eat alongside Lyra just like they had since she was brought to London. Lyra smiled the softest of smiles before continuing to eat until she could no more.

The smile eased Mrs. Coulter's worry, she smiled in return.

Mrs. Coulter being done noticed Lyra hadn’t eaten much of the soup however had enough she deemed acceptable. 

Having everything been cleared away for them by the servant, Mrs. Coulter then had Lyra get out of bed only to be given a bath and change into fresh pajamas. Lyra nearly fell asleep once more in the bath, except for Mrs. Coulter shaking her awake. Making sure to have dried her hair the best she could Lyra walked back to her bedroom sleepily as Mrs. Coulter drained the tub.

Marisa had changed into her own nightgown for the night and brought her papers and glasses with her into Lyra’s room for the afternoon rather than the lounge-like she would normally. Some time passed as she reviewed the notes from Dr. Cooper about the progress made. Lyra exhausted and sleepy not really looking at Mrs. Coulter who was lounged in the comfortable chair at Lyra’s bedside with Ozymandias at her feet keeping an eye on Lyra. 

Lyra had the cloth freshly soaked in cool water once more upon her forehead, her eyes closed beginning to fall asleep once more. Mrs. Coulter sitting in the chair shifted some papers adjusting her reading glasses a bit in her nightgown, she glanced over between pages at Lyra from time to time when suddenly the clock rang throughout the penthouse.

She then placed her notes back within a pile closing the folder they were from, before rising up from the chair and placing the folder upon it. Marisa stood closer to the bed, she then reached for Lyra’s forehead bringing the back of her hand to feel her temperature. It was still warm, less than before however still present of fever. 

“Lyra” she woke her, knowing she needed to take the medicine. Lyra opened her eyes sleepily at her voice, seeing her hunched over her bedside her hand on her forehead. “You need to take your medicine for your fever” she then reached for the bottle and the measuring spoon pouring out a dose. 

Lyra eyes the medicine through weariness and distaste, Mrs. Coulter sat on the bedside near the nightstand and brought the measuring spoon near Lyra. Lyra then hesitantly asked “ Do I have to take that?” not wanting to taste the vile medicine on the spoon which she saw being brought to her mouth. Mrs. Coulter sighed before scolding “Lyra” she raised her eyebrows at the girl, knowing it was just a child asking not liking the taste. “You need to take this to feel better” she held the spoon to Lyra's mouth then gave her a challenging look for a second softly before Lyra then conceded and opened her mouth to take it. 

Lyra made a face of distaste after taking the medicine, it was dreadful making even Pan shudder.

"Good, soon you will feel much better" Mrs. Coulter tucked a stray hair from Lyra's face. Lyra nodded in response, Mrs.Coulter watching her as her eyes were getting heavier and Lyra fought sleep she had been putting off. 

Mrs. Coulter rose from the bedside, she then made sure mostly every inch of Lyra was covered from the draft, making sure she laid comfortably on the pillows noticing Pan curled up now Lyra's neck. Her expression softened at the sight. 

After seeing Lyra was alright, now seemingly asleep she began to head out of the room for the night only for a soft little hand to catch her. 

Lyra reached out in fear and for comfort. "What if the gobblers find me again?" She asked innocently in fear, afraid to be alone. 

Mrs. Coulter gripped the girl’s hand back, as she let the girl’s words sink in. She looked up at the ceiling with such emotions, guilt, anger, and sadness before looking back at a sleepy Lyra. 

“I hadn’t protected you before, authority willing I will do so now. No one is ever going to harm you, not again Lyra” she then rose to leave once more reassuring with a conviction, she then without knowing what possessed her leaned down and pressed a kiss upon her daughter’s head. Lyra smiled softly at the words and affection, she then after her mother’s kiss fell asleep. 

Mrs. Coulter then made her way to the door of the bedroom glancing at Lyra once more smiling softly at her. “Goodnight darling” she whispered softly before closing the door slightly before retreating to her study down the hall with a conviction and a mission in mind; slight anger building with each step. 

As Lyra slept, her fever broke causing her to sleep well. Neither Lyra or Mrs. Coulter had noticed the shadow by the window of Lyra’s bedroom. A daemon of a Hawk.

* * *

Lord Asriel had been writing notes in his laboratory up in the north when Thorold had appeared with a telegram. 

He had paid it no attention at first before he then reached for it reading it over quickly than slower as the words sunk in. “Thorold we must depart immediately, arrange transport. I must depart to London at once” He ran off for his belongings, Stalamaria racing after him catching up.


	6. Mother

The next morning came in London, Lyra awoke when sunlight peeked through her window reaching her face. She breathed in stirring, she was sluggish still getting over the remnants of the fever. Her head felt less fuzzy, she was more alert and aware like she had been in a soothing fog. Pan perked up as she rose to wake up more, she stretched a bit moving under the covers.

She weakly rubbed her eyes with the back of one of her closed hand, it took her a second before she thought back to the other day. Had it been a dream, she was in Mrs. Coulter’s apartment once more. She remembers running away, then Mrs. Coulter had found her brought her here where she would be safe. Lyra wondered if anything would change being around Mrs. Coulter with them both now aware of their connection. Lyra’s heart rate started to go up as she thought of her Uncle, he was now a criminal wanted by the magisterium. Would she see him again, he had lied to her all her life and left her. Lyra wanted to not care about him, however, her little heart couldn’t help it. He was all the family she had known until now. 

Glancing around the room, she noted it was quiet in the penthouse apartment. Save for the sounds of the servants preparing what Lyra would assume was breakfast and a tea kettle shouting out before being moved off the flame. Her bedroom was exactly how she had it before she ran, Lyra then remembered the Alethemoter she quickly glanced around the room before spotting her handbag on the dresser. Hoping Mrs. Coulter had not discovered it, she pushed the covers off her with Pan following as she reached the bag reaching inside opening it and finding the Aletheomoter still inside untouched. Lyra sighed a breath of relief, she then slowly backed up into her bed and sat down as she opened the gold alethiometer. 

Turning her head to Pan “I wish it could work and tell me if he is alright” Pan looked on with his black eyes as a white ermine. “You probably need a certain way to figure it out, maybe there are books” he suggested as Lyra moved the dials and gears trying to will it to work. 

“We will have to find out” Lyra told Pan closing it before standing up and putting it back in its silk pouch, she heard some footsteps in the hall coming from the living room. She quickly ran to hide the alethiometer underneath the cushion of the chair in the far corner of the room where she had hidden it before she ran away. 

Lyra quickly then made her way back to her bed and went under the covers once more with Pan shooting underneath as well curling up against Lyra as she laid down once more. It was very comfortable, however, she hid underneath the covers as the footsteps drew nearer. Lyra then heard the door slowly open a bit, Mrs. Coulter peeking in seeing Lyra curled up underneath the covers.

Mrs. Coulter smiled softly at the sight, she softly and slowly made her way to the bed before sitting on the edge exhaling. Ozymandias leaping softly on the bed covers as well next to her watching with curiosity, Lyra had wrapped herself completely within the covers and fur blanket like a cocoon. Lyra thought maybe she could truly be safe inside here, Pan curled next to her both almost falling back to sleep being still sleepy. 

Mrs. Coulter reached out her hand and nudged the lump under the covers, Lyra moved a bit, however, stayed underneath. Mrs. Coulter then leaned close to the covers and whispered “Lyra” seeing if she was awake. Lyra moaned a bit not wanting to wake up and deal with everything, especially afraid of how things would be now. Lyra was cautious, as Mrs. Coulter had been soft with her so far at the moment. 

“Lyra darling, are you awake?” Mrs. Coulter rubbed the blankets where it was Lyra’s side, Lyra moved slightly before from under the covers she mumbled “No”

Mrs. Coulter smiled at the response, hoping Lyra was feeling better if she was in a joking mood. Mrs. Coulter for some reason thought she would play along, happy that Lyra was feeling better and that she was talking all be it small. 

“Well, if you were awake I would tell you there is breakfast prepared in the dining room for the both of us” Lyra moved slightly under the covers hearing her, slightly tempted. Lyra still hadn’t moved, causing Mrs. Coulter to sigh and exhale; she had to bring out the big guns so to speak. 

“There is also bacon” Mrs. Coulter whispered tantalizing the girl when this was heard Lyra then shifted even more as Pan jumped and wiggled his tail at the excitement of bacon. They debated it if it was worth leaving the warm blankets for. Lyra’s appetite had come back at the mention of breakfast, she was hungry. 

Lyra did not move as she decided to stay and that she wanted the food, Pan jumped on Lyra “Come on Lyra!” he spoke, before struggling to sneak out of the covers. Pan peeked his head out at Mrs. Coulter noticing Ozymandias there as well, he climbed over Lyra and made his way in front of Mrs. Coulter. 

This took Mrs. Coulter by surprise as she saw him emerge, she smiled at the sight of him as she peered at Lyra knowing the girl was interested and wanted to come out of the covers. “Lyra” she called out, the girl not moving while Pan jumped on Lyra with his front paws before he spoke taking Mrs. Coulter off guard for she hadn’t heard him speak before. “Lyra, come on” he laughed a bit as he jumped on her playfully. 

Mrs. Coulter smiled as she saw him be playful with Lyra, she then got an idea. Ozymandias looked at her in anticipation as well as Pan who eyed Mrs. Coulter with innocent curiosity as he noticed Ozymandias and he flinched a bit cautiously at the sight remembering the last time he got close to him. 

Mrs. Coulter then having enough moved the blankets out of the way unwrapping Lyra from her cocoon Ozmandias helping to move the covers away, only to reveal Lyra laying there underneath she looked at Mrs. Coulter in surprise at the covers being lifted through sleepy eyes. 

“There you are” Mrs. Coulter sighed looking upon Lyra who was still sleepy from the covers and sleep, she brushed the hair from Lyra’s face. “You still sleepy?” she asked noticing the girl still a bit tired from waking up and some still exhaustion from the fever taking it a bit out of her. Lyra nodded her head slightly in response, as she shyly fixed her own pajama top while Pan moved closer to her. 

Mrs. Coulter then reached and softly felt Lyra’s forehead with the back of her hand checking for her fever, she noticed Lyra’s head felt much cooler and more normal. “How are you feeling, any better?” Lyra closed her eyes at the touch, she dared not speak much being cautious of Mrs. Coulter wondering in her head if and when the other shoe would drop. 

Lyra nodded not saying a word, which Mrs. Coulter noticed that the girl was barely saying anything for the time being she was getting over a fever and a whole ordeal of running away from home, almost getting kidnapped and being found so she wouldn't push; for now. 

Mrs. Coulter grabbed Lyra’s hair gently stroking her head “Well there is breakfast in the living room for us and you need to eat. You haven’t eaten in the past two days besides some of that broth last night. Alright?” Lyra nodded before Mrs. Coulter gestured for her to follow her. “Come on” she leads Lyra to the dining room with her hands on her shoulders. 

The pair sat down at the small dining table together, they silently ate their food Lyra slower than Mrs. Coulter who was watching her the entire time making sure the girl ate. Pan sat on the floor at Lyra’s feet curled around her feet for some comfort, he watched as Ozymandias watched him sitting next to him. 

Mrs. Coulter had some papers on the dining table as well that needed signing, she received correspondence that this morning. A pair of Turks were conveniently arrested by the state police on child kidnapping charges after an anonymous tip, a perfect cover-up to blame the disappearance of the children on. Mrs. Coulter got her revenge and anger on the pair that tried to take her daughter and solved her issues of suspicion by the Gyptians and citizens; especially talks from the press. 

“The two men that harmed you, have been apprehended by the state police. They will not harm another again” Lyra’s head rose at the words looking at Mrs. Coulter with surprise before she sighed in relief and accepted it. Lyra was glad they were arrested, she was safe from them. 

Lyra was confused about how the state police knew of her attempted kidnapping and attack. She furrowed her eyebrows at the thought, then she assumed they must have been caught taking a child. 

After they had finished Mrs. Coulter placing her napkin on the table spoke glancing at Lyra "Right, Lyra. Since certain things have come to light, there will be some changes that will occur" 

Lyra listened with some fear wondering what would happen to her now. 

"Once you are better and coming next year, I will be enrolling you in school" This got Lyra's attention, she had only been taught by the scholars at Jordan before such as Librarian in their spare time. 

"It will be the same one that I had attended when I was your age. I think you will love it" Mrs. Coulter smiled at her at the thought, imagining boasting about her daughter's achievements like other high society women.

Lyra did not know what to expect not really having structure before. She looked down at Pan who had the same thoughts as her, not really knowing what to make of it. 

"Now, as of right now. I shall be home the entire day to do what you wish. How does that sound?" She asked with a smile trying to cheer Lyra up, as she thought of a question that has been weighing on her mind. 

"I'd like that" Lyra smiled softly however still thinking of the question. 

"Great, let's get dressed" Mrs. Coulter announced while getting up from the chair with Lyra following suit. 

Lyra broke off from Mrs.Coulter entering her bedroom, Lyra went over to her wardrobe and chose the outfit she wore the day she left Jordan college not feeling up to wearing a dress hoping Mrs.Coulter wouldn't say anything.

As she placed it on her bed, Lyra heard a tapping sound on her window. Her head snapped to look at what made the noise, Pan darting over to see climbing onto the windowsill. 

They saw Tony Costa's Daemon tapping on the window with her beak. Lyra went over to the window to see Tony on the ledge. 

"Tony Costa?" He waved at her, Lyra quickly went to her bedroom door peeked out listening for Mrs.Coulter and closed it. Before darting over to the window and tried to open it only to find it now locked. Tony saw her try noticing it too was locked, he panicked realizing he couldn't get to Lyra. 

"Lyra, it's locked en't?" He asked through the glass. 

"She must have locked it after I ran away, what are you doing here?" She asked hurriedly listening out and glancing at the door. 

"I've come to get you, your Uncle found out where you were and asked the gyptians for help. Especially after he found out who you were with" He explained as he gripped the side of the building.

Benjamin watched to make sure he didn't fall, from the safer ledge. 

"He is wanted by the magisterium Tony for heresy. Shouldn't you be looking for Billy?" she explained and asked wondering why Tony was sent to get her when she was fine with Mrs. Coulter.

"Lyra, that's why-" Lyra then heard high heels coming down the hallway, she looked at Tony in a panic.

"I've got to go!" Tony quickly and carefully went to get out of view.

"We'll come back for you Lyra" before Tony and benjamin escaped before being seen.

"Lyra" Mrs. Coulter called before coming into the bedroom opening the closed door. She saw Lyra by the window, however no one else besides her and Pan. 

She held out a hand beckoning Lyra to her asking in a whisper. "Lyra, come here" Lyra moved slowly and cautiously towards her trying to seem not nervous. 

Placing her delicate hands on Lyra's shoulders softly she looked to the window with very light fear before glancing at Lyra in the eyes. "What were you doing by the window, hm?" 

"I wanted to see outside" she quickly supplied an answer, Mrs. Coulter eyed her before accepting the answer before bringing Lyra into her embrace holding the back of her head with one hand. "Alright, come let's get you dressed and then we will need to do something to your hair" she stated as she noticed the knots in the girl's hair. 

Mrs. Coulter went to the dressed and pulled out a simple dress, making Lyra sigh on the inside as the outfit she took out was put back. Lyra then changed before Mrs. Coulter sat down on the bedside chair she had sat on the night before. Mrs. Coulter then had Lyra sit on her lap, Mrs. Coulter took the brush and carefully smoothed out Lyra's hair is ever so gentle. 

As Lyra sat on her lap which was foreign to both of them, however, Lyra did not say a thing. She played with the hem of her dress as Pan sat on the floor next to Ozmandias who had curled his tail around him. 

"Did you have hair like mine, when you were my age?" Mrs. Coulter perked up at Lyra speaking to her, the question catching her off guard for a second. 

"Oh yes, well my mother would always be displeased when it would get all untidy" she smiled as she pets Lyra's hair untangling the knots. Lyra didn't need to know that her mother would be displeased before fetching the nanny to fix it never being gentle. 

Lyra then thought of Mrs. Lionsdale at Jordan. "When I was at Jordan college, Mrs. Lionsdale would always find me and chase me down. She would get cross whenever I got dirty, she would always brush my hair and it was always painful" Lyra shared with Mrs. Coulter who listened enamored, anytime Lyra told her something. 

"Well, she is not me...There" Mrs. Coulter smiled as she finished brushing Lyra's hair. Lyra then whispered a thank you before getting up off Mrs. Coulter's lap. The woman would never admit aloud that she missed her when she got up. 

  
  


Later on, after dinner, Lyra decided to read about the north since she wasn't allowed on the terrace. Since Mrs. Coulter said she was still recovering from her fever and did not want it to return. 

Lyra was sitting in the lounge on the long sofa with her book leaning on one of the pillows with Pan on her lap. 

Mrs. Coulter sat next to her doing paperwork and reading reports while she kept making glances at Lyra from time to time. 

After some hours, where it was getting dark outside. Lyra, who had still been sleepy from the remnants of her fever and proper sleep she had been deprived of; began to nod off. Her eyes dropping little by little, Mrs. Coulter saw Pantilimon yawn wide curling more into Lyra. 

Mrs. Coulter noticed Lyra had indeed fallen asleep, she smiled at the sight tilting her head eyes softening. 

Mrs. Coulter had then gotten a blanket and covered Lyra without waking her, she didn't want to wake her just yet letting her rest before she would wake her to go to bed. 

As she was fixing the blanket over Lyra, she brushed her thumb along Lyra's cheek staring at her with longing and what some would describe as love.

"So it is true" Lord Asriel breathed out speaking, catching Mrs. Coulter completely off guard as Ozymandias screeched jumping up in front of the sofa bearing his teeth towards the voice protectively. 

Lord Asriel stood in the doorway of the lounge in the slight dim of the penthouse staring at the sight of Mrs. Coulter and Lyra asleep. 

"Hello Marisa" 

For the first time in many years, their little family was in the same room together. Marisa Coulter's heart leaped as did her fear, she breathed in at the sight of him. 


	7. Possession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst Warning: This chapter will break your heart.  
> Side Effects may include: Tears

Asriel stepped forward with one foot, Ozymandias growling fiercely only to be met with Stelmaria’s low growl in return. He eyed the sleeping Lyra, she looked comfortable and seemed peaceful. He noticed Marisa having her hand on Lyra while eyeing him with her eyes not wavering while Ozmandias continued to low growl back at Stelmaria both tense. 

“When I got word that Lyra had left Jordan, I was surprised thinking perhaps she had stolen another Gyptian boat and left ...only to find out she was with you the entire time” Asriel spoke soft and low with astonishment in his voice eyeing the pair on the sofa, glancing at Ozymandias and Stelemaria still staring each other down defensively. 

Marisa said nothing as she kept hold of her daughter with one hand ready to defend her at a moment's notice. “What are you doing here” she spoke soft and low as to not wake Lyra, she wanted to know why he risked magisterium capture, torture and death to be here. He hadn’t cared when he took off for the north in the first place spouting of heretical notions of other worlds beyond the authority’s power. 

Asriel took another step and Ozymandias whipped his tail and became near-feral, screeching in a warning. Marisa watched him with a protective and wicked look in her eye. Stelemaria prowling sideways half circling Lyra, Pan, Marisa, and Ozymandias.

“I am here for Lyra, to save her from your work” He announced his intentions with a threat as he eyed the sleeping girl curled up next to Marisa safe. Stellaria eyed Lyra with a fondness while watching Ozymandias as they circled each other. Marisa’s hand clutched Lyra tighter as she brought the sleeping child closer to her holding her close in protection, Asriel took surprise in her actions. 

He came close to the pair, Ozymandias screeching a warning if he were to do anything he would strike, Stelemaria stood down slightly as she moved closer to Ozymandias and brushed against him which was returned. 

Marisa made direct eye contact with him, speaking soft and trying to reason “The magisterium will never allow you to take her ... **_I_ ** _won’t allow you to take her. I am not losing her again_ ” tears began to form in her eyes as she clutched her child to her in fear of her being snatched away. Lyra still sleeping unaware of the silent conflict occurring.

“You want her?” he asked surprised and in awe, she had grown feelings for the girl; he did not foresee this happening. Lyra the girl who he knows to run along rooftops getting into mischief was peacefully asleep in the women he loves arms. The mother of his child, the child he denies. Lyra snuggling into Marisa in her sleep sensing her embrace and smell. 

“Yes” she whispered declaring her love for her daughter, the baby she had left as a newborn in her shame, kept from and denied she cared about for years. 

Asriel and Marisa only had eyes for each other at this moment, bringing them both back to when Lyra had been born. The last time they had all been together, before everything. Before Edward. Asriel looking in Marisa’s eyes “I never thought I'd see the day you cared” he spoke softly as Marisa still had her arms around the sleeping Lyra. 

Marisa with tears in her eyes looked down at their child before meeting his gaze, he reached out his hand to cover hers which was holding Lyra. Asriel and Marisa moved closer to one another where their foreheads were touching thinking of the past and their love. 

“We should have brought her up together properly” Asriel speaks softly to her his deepest regret formulating into a sentence. Marisa breathed in at the words, her ice-cold heart thawing for this moment. She smiled at him, something that was rare upon her face. They kissed passionately with such emotion, lust and surprisingly love. 

In catching their breaths Marisa proposed a sickening thought “You still can leave it all behind. For her…..for us” she suggested he give up his research his work, the reason the magisterium is searching for him. To stop. Perhaps this was the way, Marisa thought selfishly. She wouldn’t give up her work and she held the slightest hope he possibly would knowing it was a far cry. 

Asriel gazed at with surprise and seriousness, soft eyes. “You want that…..a life together?” he brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, Marisa shuddering at the touch. 

Marisa in some self-realization her eyes widened a bit as she openly told the truth for the first time in a while. “With everything I have” she declared the seriousness of her desires aloud. Asriel too selfishly thought of himself and his desire, he had wanted that many years ago thinking of their past. 

Asriel was reminded of a time where an ambitious Marisa Coulter and he had met for the first time. Ambitious, viewing the world as something to conquer, study and build upon creating something of herself and him feeling the same. Stolen kisses and embraces from a time long ago, meeting at conventions and parties under the guise of night. 

Their time together was what brought them Lyra and the consequences of their forbidden love, both after everything wondering if it was worth it. Being bitter and cold, apart from one another. Lyra reminding him of Marisa each time he gazed upon her face and the way she fought for things she strived for. He couldn’t bear to be reminded of his failure, to keep the woman he loves and their child. He had already failed as a father, he would at least try to build a better world for Lyra. Ironically Asriel did not know that Marisa wished and was trying to accomplish the same. 

Asriel sighed closing his eyes knowing that it could never happen, he couldn’t be a father to Lyra all he could do now was protect her. She was safe at Jordan college, now that she was no longer there she was endangered. However, she was with her mother. 

Asriel whispered in his thoughts “A proper family” the thought of that made his heart leap slightly, he wouldn’t admit. Regrets they both held. He opened his eyes once more looking at Marisa before looking down at Lyra, who was still asleep unaware.

Marisa joined his gaze to stare at their daughter, she smiled softly as Lyra moved a little in her sleep holding her a bit more. Asriel fought off a slight smile himself, the small family just stared at each other for a while. Enjoying the moment, while Lyra slept against her mother. Asriel whispering a quip that he has rarely seen Lyra this quiet and content, causing Marisa to smile almost letting out a slight laugh. 

Stelemaria and Ozymandias were cuddled together on the carpet nearby, Asriel eventually sat next to Marisa embracing her and Lyra all together. Just for a little while.

“She does not know that I am her father. I never claimed to be one. The one thing I guarantee was to make sure she is safe-”

“She is safe with me, I will take responsibility for her. They already wish for you to be captured, she will be sought out as well. With me, no one shall touch her” she swore quickly explaining trying to reason with him as she gazed at him with a serious and desperate look. 

Asriel eyes Lyra in Marisa’s arms with soft eyes debating the options, he needed to put sentiment aside and protect his child. Their child. Suddenly now, she wished for involvement. Asriel wonders what changed, where she suddenly wished for her child. All these years, she would see him at events in rarity however she never brought up their child. It was always him mentioning Lyra like a weapon, now she was desperate to not be apart. 

The girl had done the unthinkable, she carved her way into Marisa Coulter’s stone-cold ice heart and stayed there. Like he had done so many years ago. 

Asriel slowly slides away standing up as he then began to slowly pace the lounge before he spoke “That may be what you believe, however, the magisterium always gets what they want. With my work, what I seek to accomplish they will not be able to control us anymore” Asriel swore raving on passionately and quick to anger, Marisa shrunk back at his proclamations. 

“You are talking of heresy, I will be no part of it. Neither will Lyra” Marisa challenged denying his belief not buying into his words, not believing in the possibility where the magisterium would be weakened. His work would only bring the might of the magisterium down on all them, Lyra would be caught in the crossfire. Marisa would not allow it. 

Asriel looked at Marisa holding her gaze with sad eyes, he was a fool to think they could ever be happy. He let himself get sentimental, it was a mistake. 

Stelemaria broke apart from Ozymandias who was watching her move as he went to stand by Marisa and Lyra, Asriel then moved towards Marisa and Lyra he then kneeled down. He brushed Lyra’s hair softly staring at Lyra not daring to look at Marisa, admiring the thought of them all together for a second; a wild fantasy never to happen.

Suddenly the buzzer for the lift was buzzing announcing a guest wished to visit, it was not normal buzz either. It was constant buzzing almost like a warning or a banging someone was trying to reach Mrs. Coulter. 

"Give her to me” he declared, Ozmandias then screeched out at the command as he put himself between Asriel and Marisa and Lyra making the man step back a bit. Marisa in a low cry and gasp “No” quickly told him, her word marking as final. Stelemaria was growling to match Ozymandias, who both had their teeth bared. 

“Marisa” he warned the same tone she had given him, both protective of their child. He held his arms out in expression as he stared Marisa down both fiercely eyeing each other in opposition. 

Marisa then yelled, “I am her mother!” 

Suddenly there was a thudding as the lift was being overridden by the building staff after being taken over. The magisterium forces were there, they had spotted Asriel in London and tracked him down. They made haste especially seeing where he was headed, having marched into the grand building complex on a mission locking it down. 

Asriel hearing this quickly snatched Lyra from her arms, Ozymandias clawing and leaping at him in reaction severely protective. Lyra moaned deeply in her sleep pouting at the loss of her mother’s embrace, she didn’t wake still since she instinctively felt and smelled who had taken her. Asriel hoisted Lyra and the blanket into his arms gasping out at the claws and scratches from Ozymandias. Stelemaria was quick to fight him off as the two were in a full out battle with growling and scratching. Marisa's heart was being ripped from her chest, fear captivated her instantly as her child was snatched from her arms. Asriel wouldn’t harm Lyra, however, he was harming Marisa in every emotional way. Marisa leaped up from the couch reaching out for her daughter instantly going to fight Asriel and take Lyra back. 

Stelemaria had pinned Ozymandias to the carpet for a moment causing Marisa to stumble onto the sofa. He hoisted Lyra more securely into his arms, Lyra's head lulled onto his shoulder and her arms went around his neck. He had his arms around her, underneath her knees supporting her weight like the last time he held her. 

Marisa was back onto him bouncing back, Ozymandias getting free to continue fighting Stelmaria as he cautiously stood his ground against the mighty snow leopard. Marisa reached out for Lyra with tears streaming down her eyes, as Asriel began to walk away with her following their daemons still prowling each other following. 

Marisa was disgusted with herself as she fought internally that she would beg for something, she hadn’t begged a day in her life. A blubbering mess reduced to tears and sobs at the thought of losing her child once more. The feeling was deterred by the immense pain and sorrow she felt with Lyra being taken away from her. “Asriel please” she begged allowed causing him to halt his movements to reach the window he came in from. He saw her tears free-flowing, as he had tears in his eyes himself thinking that he was doing the right thing. To keep Lyra safe, they wouldn’t let her live with what he was about to do. 

Marisa couldn’t comprehend how she let this man hold such power over her, she hated him fiercely and she loved him. Magisterium forces had then just broken through to the penthouse apartment, the couple had been down the hallway near the study, Marisa’s back was to the lift Asriel facing towards it with Lyra in his arms. 

They stormed through boots stomping as they formed a group of guns being pointed at the man down the hall with Lyra in his arms. Marisa turned her head to see them, she was shaking with fear and suspense. “Mrs. Coulter, step away!” the commander yelled out, down the hall as the forces of fifteen men in black uniforms with white bands on their arms with the magisterium emblem on them cocked their weapons aimed at Asriel and Lyra. Lyra began to stir at the loud noise, as her eyelids began to flutter. 

Marisa moved to the side out of their way in reaction “He has my daughter!” she proclaimed crying out as she was shaking fearful they would fire at Asriel in Lyra arms. Marisa still had tears in her eyes as she kept her eyes on Lyra. 

The commander bellowed out “Release the child Belaqua!” Asriel had to think fast as he sweated from his fur coat holding Lyra, fear captivating over him along with Marisa that they would shoot Lyra in his arms. Asriel then quickly thinking reached into his back belt for the pistol that he had brought, he then aimed at Lyra’s head. Marisa then chanted begging over and over “No” as she saw him do so. 

Marisa Coulter then shouted at the forces with such anger “DO SOMETHING!” she commanded herself, as they moved closer to them down the hall. Some got on their knees for stability taking stance while others stood behind them as they all aimed their weapons.

“YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED SURRENDER YOURSELF TO THE AUTHORITY!” the commander bellowed out screaming the order to Asriel. Lyra now was awake and started to freak out, she eyed the situation taking in everything that was happening all so suddenly having been asleep. Lyra noticed she was in her Un-Father’s arms and her mother was a foot away crying leaning against the wall shaking with fear and tears. Lyra then turned her head to see the magisterium forces down the hall all pointing scary guns right at her. At them. She squirmed in her father's arms scared, she noticed the pistol aimed at her head.

Lyra began to cry.

Everything was tense, Lyra felt and heard her own heartbeat thumping away; as everyone was waiting for something to happen. 

Lyra looked to her mother finally meeting her gaze her mother becoming more and more worried with each second amplified those emotions as soon as she met eyes with an awake Lyra. Marisa's eyes softened from her anger looking at a crying Lyra who was starting to hiccup, Pan, nuzzled into her neck not wanting to look and began to cry as well. 

“NOW!”

Asriel then began to slowly back up towards Marisa’s study backward, knowing they wouldn’t fire their weapons on them if he held the pistol to Lyra making it seem he was kidnapping her. Which was what he was doing. The forces shifted their weapons as they saw him begin to move, Marisa dared not to move towards the forces knowing it would further her from Lyra.

Lyra saw Asriel moving backward and quickly flicked her eyes to Marisa. Marisa stepped towards Asriel seeing him move knowing his intentions knowing he could get away taking Lyra with him. Lyra through her tears whispered, Marisa and Asriel barely, however, definitely hearing it causing both to falter.

" _mother_ "

Marisa openly crying begged with a sob “Please” the last plea as she reached out her arms for Lyra keeping her eyes on Asriel. 

He glanced to Marisa as tears sprang to his eyes at her reaction and the situation at hand, Lyra would never forgive him. He would live with that, so long as she was safe.

“ON THE ORDER OF THE MAGISTERIUM UNHAND THE CHILD AND SURRENDER OR WE WILL FIRE” the last warning rang out time was running out, Asriel then moved his eyes to Marisa meeting her tear-filled eyes.

“I will keep her safe” he proclaimed to her with such conviction, promising her with everything he had. The one promise Marisa knows he would keep, unlike so many others. 

Asriel was in the doorway of the study and pushed the door open with lifting the back of his boot kicking it open, out of the force's view he ran with Lyra in his arms who had held tight closing her eyes in absolute fear. 

“ _LYRA!_ ” Marisa screamed out for her child with her arm reaching out to her, she saw as her daughter had reached out one arm breaking all of their hearts in the process. The forces stormed forward after them as Asriel quickly slammed the door closed missing Lyra’s little outstretched hand. Asriel going out the window he had come from with Lyra along with, dodging a bullet that had been shot through the door missing them both landing in the wall nearby.

Marisa had fallen to the floor in sobs and shock as forces secured her, making sure she was alright and not harmed as she openly cried something she had not done since Lyra was born and Asriel had taken her away then. She hadn’t wanted to hold her baby not wanting to get attached, now nothing could be helped. She told herself steely she hadn’t cared then, she tried to continue that lie; however, she could no longer deny. She was surrounded by her grief as shots rang out.

As they fled Thorold having secured a route away from the building, the magisterium, and Marisa. Lyra had passed out from it all, as he carried her away. Asriel thought back as he carried her through the night to the time he had left her at Jordan all those years ago during the great flood. Asriel held back watery eyes as his emotions that he had been suppressing came to the surface, Stelmaria followed alongside him with her head downcast. 

The only place in this world Lyra would be safe now was with the gyptians.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts in a comment, as well as any idea's on what to include going forward.


	8. Journey

**_Two Months Later:_ **

Lyra Belacqua stood staring into her own reflection in a water fountain, sitting with her head on her hand’s waiting and pondering her thoughts. She wore a green dress fitting of a young girl like herself, a hair clip in her hair on one side. It was getting colder outside so she also wore a cream-colored coat, nice in style no expense spared. Her outfit a far cry from her day’s at Jordan college, she wore a matching hat. Red knitted in color upon her head, Pantilmion sat next to her also admiring his reflection. 

Lyra sighed, Pan as well. Her eyes glanced up at her father who stood a bit away talking to Father Coram and Lord Faa discreetly, he wore fancier clothes than previously adorned usually by himself. It was all part of their cover, right under the noses of the magisterium right in London. Magisterium forces didn’t think to check and or question a member of high society about the child they had been trying to hunt down and locate for two months. Lyra kept to herself looking around the children’s park they were currently at, in the distance, there were children playing and laughing away. The one thing that caught Lyra’s eye the most was a mother and her young child, the mother was playing with her child chasing, laughing and catching them before grabbing them into a hug. Full of laughs and love. Lyra’s heart sank as she fought off tears from her eyes. 

As she hastily wiped some tears, Ma Costa came over with a sad smile on her face and caring eyes. “Mind if I sit here?” Lyra shook her head slightly, that she didn’t mind trying to hide she had been upset. 

Asriel Belacqua watched his daughter sitting at the fountain with sad eyes, some guilt, and some regret. Especially as he saw her wipe her face, he sucked in a breath trying not to lean into his emotions. He turned to Father Coram and John Faa once more in conversation, both were giving him updates on the magisterium and what they had uncovered recently. 

“Benjamin and some other men, found one of the places in an empty building the other day, we were so close. However, when we got there, it was empty save for some of the children’s clothes. We found Billy Costa’s sweater” Father Coram informed Asriel as they kept glancing around for magisterium forces or state police, being seen together would arouse suspicion of their cover. 

John Faa then stepped into the conversation “There have been talks of the magisterium's involvement, a secret project in development. Most of the information leads to the two being connected. If only we knew where the children were now, every other lead has turned up nothing. As of right now, the only lead we have is-” he spoke quickly to Asriel before he was cut off.

“Her” the ‘her’ being Mrs. Coulter, he stood his ground with a steely jaw. Father Coram and John Faa knew what they had debated, they eyed each other. He glanced over to Lyra who was with Ma Costa, she had given her a coin to throw into the fountain to make a wish. 

Lyra always liked Ma Costa, she had always been kind to her at Jordan except for that one time when she stole her boat and was cross for days. She reminded Lyra of her mother, just a little bit. 

Asriel looked at John Faa directly “Investigate if you must, I will not be involved, It would draw Lyra and I into attention. She must be safe at all costs” he spoke with conviction.

  
  


“No matter what happens going forward, she still seeks the girl with a vengeance. Worse every day, you must keep moving. We all should” Father Coram warned worried for Lyra and everyone, he tried to make Asriel see reason. 

Lyra had gone over to the playground to climb, she went to the center top of the playground. Ma Costa watched from a distance, Tony Costa had come over to join her; Ma Costa warned them to be careful. Both were somber, thinking of Billy and Roger. 

“We will find them Tony” Lyra promised as they sat together on top, Tony nodded. He missed his brother. Before he was taken he found him juvenile and annoying a bit; however, now that he was gone he regretted those thoughts missing him. 

“I hope so and fast, I can’t stand to see Ma so upset. I hope they are alright” He wished and hoped, he felt confident they would find them eventually. Lyra hoped Roger was safe wherever he was, she would find him soon enough. 

Asriel then made his way over to Lyra, Ma Costa seeing him approach gestured for Tony to come with her as they left for the two to have a moment. 

Lyra faced away from him with Pan on her shoulder, she wouldn’t look at him as he called her name. “Lyra” he came over looking at her with a thoughtful look with his hands in his pockets. Lyra ignored him as she looked over the park filled with families and other happy children, a less than normal amount as of recently. 

Asriel sighed as he knew he would have to go to her, she had been ignoring him for the most part for two months. He pretended to not notice the poster she had ripped down when they had been in the market for a couple of days back. It was a missing poster with her photogram upon it, the one Mrs. Coulter had her take back when she first went to live with her before the cocktail party. 

They were plastered everywhere they went making Lyra’s heartache, as she stared back at her own smiling face she had that day. Lyra remembers that day well, Mrs. Coulter had taken her shopping. Smiles and laughs as Mrs. Coulter took her to all the shops spending the day together trying on dresses and clothes. Lyra had never had that before, she spent the whole day with her. 

Mrs. Coulter had taken Lyra to have photograms done, they had ended up taking pictures together smiling. Mrs. Coulter had them developed and placed in the penthouse on display, the only photogram’s present besides lifeless artwork.

Asriel climbed his way up to where Lyra was sitting, he sat right next to her sighing as he sat down, he let it be silent or a moment as he watched Lyra’s line of sight. The mother and child.

“It was for the best” Asriel whispered to her softly as he glanced at the child and mother as well. Lyra glared at him with no expression, it took him by surprise. Not for the fact she was upset, however her facial expression. It was near identical to her mother. 

Lyra spoke with slight anger “Better for me or better for you” 

“Lyra…” she moved even further from him as she turned her body away out of spite. He reached out a hand to her shoulder, she shrugged it off. 

Lyra then made moves to jump down from the playground to avoid talking to him, Asriel wouldn’t let her leave following by climbing down to quickly chase after her. 

“Lyra we need to talk” he spoke to her stopping her from walking away from the conversation, he grabbed her arm before she could turn away. He got a hold of both of her arms holding her in front of him, Lyra’s eyes widened before she got frustrated and her inner feelings burst. 

Lyra then turned to face him with hurt in her eyes spoke “ _You lied to me...All this time..about being my father_ ” 

Asriel’s eyes softened having not known she had figured out what he was to her really, he gasped as he sucked in some air. Lyra faced him as she tried to keep her tears at bay. She hadn’t said anything in the time they had been together, it was the most time he was around for a period of time. 

“I would have been so proud” Lyra spoke softly, eyeing him as he had a surprising soft expression catching him off guard.

Asriel loosened his grip, as he closed his eyes sighing “Why would you have been proud?” He eyed her.

Lyra responded softly “Because you're ...Lord Asriel and you're **_my_ ** father” Asriel almost got choked up as she spoke as everything was out in the open, his eyes began to become misty. He smiled softly at the thought, her words hitting him. 

Tears in his eyes, he sighed looking down with a sad thought and expression bracing himself for the conversation looking back at Lyra “Your mother...she….” he struggled to find the words to explain as he held Lyra by her shoulders gently. 

“Your choice in women is almost as bad as your choice in friends” Lyra referencing the Master caused him to smile and begin to laugh at her humor. Causing Lyra to smile and laugh with him, he stared at his daughter holding back tears as he thought of a time when Lyra was very little. 

“We shouldn’t continue this conversation” he began to walk away, Lyra watched him with his back turned. “Why not?” she wondered why after all this time, the answers she wished for from his lips the man who had been there the most. 

“Because it is getting sentimental” he said dismissively.

“Sentimental” Lyra mocked and wondered.

“And because I wouldn’t like to” he told her as he stopped to speak with her once more, as she then began to walk away from him as she tried to fight off tears. Hoping this conversation had gone differently. 

Asriel asked after her “Are you crying?” trying not to care and not succeeding. 

“It’s not necessary, Lyra Belacqua you are stronger than that” he called out to her as she walked wiping away a tear. Lyra was done with this, seeing Ma Costa out of the corner of her eye watching them. 

Lyra had walked towards the gyptains as Asriel pinched his forehead at the outcome of the conversation, Lyra having stormed off to be taken by Ma Costa who eyed Asriel as she embraced the girl. Asriel turned to walk away to join them only to notice a man in a black trench coat with a camera across the park, had been taking their photogram. He looked over at Lyra worriedly as he watched the man notice he had been made before running away. 

They had to move now.

Shortly after they had left the park, about thirty minutes later the park was surrounded by Magisterium forces checking every child to Lyra’s photogram before realizing they had missed them.

* * *

Marisa Coulter stood on her terrace in the dark of night, harder liquor in a crystal glass as she leaned forward on the edge almost falling catching herself. Ozymandias watched from the window doors inside with curiosity and fear.

She walked along the edge taking a gulp of the grand liquor, balancing on the edge with her arms outward just like Lyra had done the day she had taken her to the arctic institute. As she mimics Lyra’s favorite activity smiling as she balanced herself, seeing the thrill the girl got out of it trying to be close to her as possible. She almost lost her footing causing her to gaps and Ozymandias to reach the window in fear and surprise. Marisa then sat down near a wooden box and Lyra’s purple dress laid out placing her now empty glass down.

It has been two months since Lyra had been kidnapped by Asriel right in front of her eyes and she couldn’t save her. She broke her promise, she was desperate to find, see and save her daughter. 

Taking the key from the top of the wooden box, she unlocked it before placing the key down and opening the box bringing it closer in her field of view. Inside were two ornately-shaped circle spy flies, strictly forbidden by the magisterium. She eyed them as she sighed before placing the box down and reaching for both them before placing both on Lyra's purple dress. 

The spy flies sprung to life, black with flecks of an orange shade of gold inside their little legs reaching and grabbing a piece of Lyra's hair. She smiled as they moved before they flew up in front of her, she smiled at the thought of them finding Lyra. She reached out poking one before they took off in search of her daughter. She watched them go as Ozymandias watched on from the window.

She looked up to the sky with sadness in her eyes and thoughts filled with worry. Wondering where her daughter was, if she was safe and if she was looking at the same sky. She smiled softly, as tears formed once more in her eyes.

* * *

Lyra sat pondering her thoughts with Pan by her side glancing out the dirty pane windows at the night sky, he climbed onto the bed eyeing Lyra with a sad look tilting his head. Lyra was admiring the stars in the sky, when she was a bit smaller she remembers her father teaching her the constellations and how to navigate the skies. That time long has gone, her father only wished for her safe and to achieve his goal. 

After yesterday in the park hadn’t gone well, they were to stay in hiding once more. They were currently staying in an abandoned townhouse in London, set up with some furniture not much. Lyra thought sadly the comparison to the penthouse, it was a safe house to hide in not a home. Lyra was dressed in overalls, a soft green shirt, and brown boots.

Lyra being alone for the time being took out a poster from her pocket to glance at, Lyra wasn’t alone in the photogram on this poster-like most plastered over London. Mrs. Coulter was posed right next to her the two together smiling at the camera, happy. 

Soon Lyra heard footsteps from the creaking wooden floorboards in the hallway, she then quickly after sharing a fallen look with Pan put it back in her pocket. Lyra expected to see her father however, it was Thorold who had come to see her.

“Miss Lyra” he greeted her with a soft smile, Lyra returned the smile having always liked her father's assistant. “Hello” Pan moved about watching the nice man. 

Thorold reached into his pocket to retrieve something, Lyra was shocked when she recognized the silk pouch he held in his hand. “I believe this belongs to you” he handed Lyra the alethiometer, Lyra clutched in her hand like a sacred item. 

Smiling “Thank you, however did you get it?” Lyra asked with wonder and excitement that it wasn’t lost, Thorold laughed as he explained.

“You’ll have Tony Costa to thank for that. He saw you place it underneath your chair when he tried to retrieve you the first time. Mentioned it to us. While your father was retrieving you, I had gone and taken it. In future I would keep it always on you” he suggested with a soft smile, Lyra thanked him for bringing the Alethiometer. Then Lyra thought of something the master told her.

“Doesn’t this belong to my father, the master told me it’s his” she asked curiously.

“I spoke with him and he said he would prefer if it was in more capable hands, he wishes for you to keep it” Lyra touched the side of it admiring the symbols as Thorold spoke. 

“Now, do you have everything you need? A brush for your teeth, for instance, a toothbrush”

Lyra nodded her head at his words with a toothy smile, Thorold smiled before brushing her head fondly before leaving the room. 

* * *

A little while later Lyra was going down for bed when Asriel entered the room softly as Lyra laid quietly with Pan looking at the poster on the bed while reading a book Thorold had brought her about the north. 

“It was hard you know” he spoke soft catching Lyra off guard surprising her, as she quickly tried to hide the poster in her book under the pillow. 

Asriel walked further into the room as he leaned against a corner near the door with his hands in his pockets. Looking to Lyra, noticing the poster she half hid in the book sticking out from under the pillow. Stelmaria purring and waltzing to sit nearby. 

“Taking you away from her” he spoke truthfully, Lyra looked away for a second thinking back to that night. 

“Why did you. She cared for me” Lyra spoke softly, her voice getting softer as she talked about it hoping to get answers. 

“Did she” he pondered as he moved closer to the bed, Lyra moving to sit as Asriel then reached under her pillow sliding the poster out from the closed book into his view sitting down next to her. He took it into his hands to look at as Lyra watched him. 

“I was ill, I had run away after I found out who she was. They almost got me...gobblers, I got away. She searched everywhere for me, found me back at Jordan College having slept on the roofs overnight. I had a fever, she made sure I was alright and watched over me. Just like you did when I was little” Asriel’s eyes softened thinking back, he was worried when Lyra mentioned gobblers. They were close, almost snatched her away. A chill went down his spine at the thought.

He brushed his finger along Marisa’s smiling face and Lyra as he admired the photo with some emotion inside him thinking back to Marisa’s words. They could be together, all of them. That is why he must continue his work at once, to build a better safer world for Lyra for them all. They would be together then, happy. Asriel smiled softly, before looking to Lyra. 

“You are still little” he glanced at Lyra with a soft smile, trying not to think about her growing up so fast before his own eyes. Still remembering a three years old Lyra running around Jordan seeking him out and jumping into his arms every time he got back from his trips. That had stopped after he tried to distance himself. 

“There have been many regrets in life Lyra, one day you will see ...Your mother she...she wanted to keep you...she would have ...only, circumstances changed and it wasn’t meant to be” Asriel spoke softly sighing closing his eyes briefly “ I’m sorry you were deprived of that life” He looked at his daughter with sadness in his eyes and memories of the past, he brushed a piece of her hair from her face. 

He looked to his daughter, “You look like her you know. You have her eyes” he smiled softly with fond eyes. “and when you scrunch up your face in frustration, the expression you give. Exactly like her” he admired looking at his daughter, really looking at her. He chuckled softly, causing Lyra to smile. 

“Why did I have to leave, why can’t I be with her now?” she asked wanting to know if he talked fondly of her mother why did he take her away. Asriel sighed not knowing how to continue the conversation, wondering if he should tell her the truth. 

“Your mother, she is involved with some dangerous people and some dangerous things. Your much too young to understand just yet” he tried to explain without saying the real reason. 

Lyra was not happy with that answer, still upset at being taken from her mother. However if her father tells her that she would be in danger it must be true, especially considering the way her mother reacted when those magisterium men had caught her eavesdropping. Lyra thought back to her mother's discipline with hatred and chill. Despite everything her mother had taken care of her when ill, searched for her to no end, protected her. She showed interest in her, wanted her around. It brought Lyra’s eyes to the poster; could she really be dangerous?

Asriel sighed before handing the poster back to Lyra before getting up from the bed to let her sleep. “We have to leave tomorrow, we will head into town to retrieve some supplies” he told her as Lyra nodded knowing they would spend time together. 

Asriel pulled back Lyra’s covers as she got underneath them Pan running to curl onto her shoulder and neck. Asriel pulled them over Lyra tucking her in before he went to leave. 

Midway across the room, he stopped, turning towards Lyra once more. “You don’t come from nothing Lyra, you are the product of something extraordinary. Good night” Asriel then walked out slowly with his head down in thought Stelmaria purring and following him. Lyra watched him go with a pondering look and soft eyes before she pulled up the covers for the night before staring out the window before falling asleep.

Morning came and the sun rose, the sunlight reached Pan’s face first he squinted from the light before whimpering Lyra waking along with him. Lyra rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, she stood up in bed glancing around sleepily. Pan stretched on the bed next to her, stretching on her lap before flopping backward on his back on Lyra who chuckled at his actions. After a couple of minutes, Lyra leaned down to reach under her bed for a brown leather notebook that Asriel had given to her to write in. 

It was a suggestion by Thorold after many days where Lyra refused to speak to him, not even short answers when the ordeal of leaving Mrs. Coulter had just happened. Lyra had been sketching inside the journal was a vengeance, she drew all sorts of things from polar bears, mountains and most intriguing people. 

Lyra drew Roger, herself, Pan, her mother, Ozymandias, her father, and Stelmaria. On one page she drew herself with her parents and their daemons, she kept that hidden. These drawings were no amateur drawings though, she had quite the skill. Lyra also wrote in the journal along with the drawings about everything. 

As she was sketching a picture of Jordan college, she heard a knock on the door. “Miss Lyra, your father is asking you get ready” he spoke through the door, not knowing how to interact with her, a child. He was kind and looked after her where Asriel did not the simple things. 

“Alright, Thorold” Lyra shouted through the door, causing the man to smirk reminded him of her father. 

Lyra quickly got changed, she picked out her outfit for the day. A red dress with some white lace on the trim, Lyra snapped on her mary janes as Pan flew around the room bored waiting. Lyra ran over to the bedside where her brush was for her hair. As she brushed harshly through the knots, she stopped for a second thinking of her mother. Brushing her hair, so gentle with care. Lyra began to get frustrated as she tried to brush through her knots, she grunted and screamed in frustration.

Asriel who had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Lyra to emerge already got impatient and began to head up to check on her. He was glad he did since he heard her scream in frustration, he sighed before he prepared himself to enter the bedroom.

“Lyra” he called as he entered scolding her having heard the scream, she sat on her bed with her arms crossed.

Asriel crossed his own arms as he glanced at her “What’s the matter?” he raised his eyebrows in question wanting her to answer. 

Lyra wasn’t looking at him as she mumbled a low answer he did not hear “Lyra, be a good girl and speak properly” he scolded her, challenging her when she glared at him having a mini tantrum.

Lyra’s frustration was let out “I can’t brush my hair!” she breathed out, Asriel instantly scoffed before breaking into laughter at the cause for her tantrum.

Lyra got angrier “It isn’t funny!” she shouted at him incredulously.

Asriel continued “But it is” he smiled at her, looking at her he saw Marissa. 

“Why can’t you brush your hair” he asked after trying to stifle his laughter smiling at her.

“It’s all full of knots and I can’t brush it like…” Lyra trailed off looking down, causing Asriel to realize why she was really upset. Not so much the hair, however the memories of Marisa. She had brushed the girl’s hair apparently, another surprise to him however from what Lyra described her caring for her it wasn’t far off. 

Asriel’s eyes became soft as he took the brush from her hand, he began to brush her hair painstakingly not as good as Marisa however better than Lyra was attempting moments ago. “I might not be her, however, I can brush hair” Lyra sat silently as he brushed her hair for her.

“There” he announced he was finished he brushed her hair with hand to check it before he stood up trying not to let the moment get to him. 

“Now let’s get a move on, we have to retrieve supplies for our trip North” he announced as he went to leave the room waiting for Lyra to quickly grab her coat, Pan scampered into her coat pocket as she picked it up. 

Asriel caught her as she went to leave her room, grabbing her arm. “Don’t forget your hat” he grabbed her red knitted hat before placing it over Lyra’s head lazily on purpose causing Lyra to fix it. 

* * *

As they were walking in the streets of London mixing in with other people and families, as they turned down a street while walking Lyra reached for Asriel’s hand hoping he wouldn’t notice. He pretended not to as they walked on. 

Lyra turned her head around everywhere looking at everything as Asriel guided her towards the market. He was looking too, however for a different reason looking out for magisterium and suspicious people. Making sure to put his arm around Lyra bringing her in closer, he wore a tan business hat to try and hide his face mostly. They both looked like an ordinary father and daughter of the upper class, the way they would have looked had Asriel not lost his land and most of his money when he kept Lyra from Edward Coulter all those years ago. 

Soon they reached the city square where there were corner shops and a market, Asriel retrieved most of their supplies placing them in a rucksack he was carrying which had their money and Asriel possessions inside. 

Pan sat upon Lyra’s shoulder hiding a bit in Lyra's coat for warmth, after an hour or two of them going to each store Lyra was getting bored and fast. Holding onto Asriel’s hand as he browsed in one of the corner shops, Lyra was watching out the window at some children taking turns riding on an attraction of a motorized horse. After a couple of minutes of watching Lyra tugged gently on her father’s coat, which didn’t get his attention. 

Lyra sighed “Father” she called out catching him by surprise having his attention, it was the first time Lyra had called him such a thing. His eyes watered for a second before he pushed it back only his shock showing.

“Can I go ride the horse with those other children over there?” she asked pointing to the horse outside the shop window where the children were smiling playing. Asriel’s eyebrows furrowed in thought, he didn’t want to let Lyra out of his sight. However, it was right in front of the shop where he could see her through the window and he needed to get the last few items they needed.

He conceded seeing the expression on her face, cracking him in half. Lyra laid it on thick with begging innocent eyes, she was giving him the look she gave when she really wanted something. “Alright, but stay in front of the window at all times” he warned raising his eyebrows in warning, she knew that she needed to stay safe. Lyra nodded before smiling as he removed two pence to give her for the ride, he smiled watching her go as he shook his head.

Stelmaria purring at him wiping her tail as Lyra skipped off outside the shop “You always melt when she gives you that look” she teased eyeing him. Asriel chuckled, smiling “I don’t melt” he tried to act tough, as his face became serious. Stelmaria knowing him to be bluffing hummed at his words. 

As Asriel finished gathering everything they had needed glancing at Lyra seeing it was her turn on the horse, she got on smiling. The first time she had seemed like a child recently, as she rode the ride with Pan on horse’s head enjoying it as well. The sight caused him to smile as he paid the store clerk, a gentleman from the back of the shop had been eyeing them the whole time since they had stepped in. Asriel had just noticed him, as he packed the items into his rucksack and made his way out towards Lyra. 

Lyra was smiling as the music from the ride sounded out, she held the reigns of the horse the only enjoyment she’s had for a while enjoying every minute. As it ended Asriel then lifted her off the ride into his arms before placing her down.

“Alright, we should be all set to go North” he announced as he took Lyra’s hand Pan following before flying up above Lyra as goldfinch. They began to leave the town center which held all of the shops and the market, as they were walking Stelmaria’s ears picked up an acute buzzing before suddenly Lyra and Pan cried out in pain as Pan fell to the ground slowly descending before turning into a white soft furred ferret. Lyra had fallen to the ground Asriel checking her over as he noticed a quick black object buzzing and hitting into Lyra causing her to cry out, Stelmaria leaped over to Pan nearby as she growled loudly as swat at the spy fly near Pan. 

While Asriel tried to grab the one near Lyra, who had stood up and angrily tried to stomp on it as it avoided her. Lyra eventually pinned it under her mary jane, while Asriel quickly reached into the rucksack for a tin filled with some tools. He emptied it quickly before covering the spy fly Lyra had trapped, just then the one near Pan had just missed Stelmaria’s paw as it flew away into the sky.

Asriel and Lyra were kneeled down on the ground, as Asriel hoisted the black buzzing object into his eyesight in a tight grip. His eyes widened at the sight of it, not believing exactly what it was and why it was sent. 

Lyra stared at curiously as he held it up “What is it?” she asked wanted to know what had attacked her and Pan. Pan having come over to Lyra leaping into her arms as a snow fox, she held him tight as she asked.

Asriel began “That. That is a spy fly”

Lyra asked trying to breathe confused “A spy wut?” 

“A spy fly, they are an old cursed object. Everyone’s scared of them. Even the magisterium, it was sent by your mother to hunt you down and find you” Asriel realized that Marisa had been so desperate to find Lyra that she went behind and above the magisterium to do so. 

Asriel quickly shut the tin, quickly stepping on it to make sure it was closed tightly. He then put the tin in the rucksack before glancing around noticing that whole spectacle had gotten multiple people’s attention as they were all mainly looking at Lyra.

Asriel quickly reached for Lyra bringing her in close to him before he took her hand and began to walk off quickly to leave the area. They had to move now, the magisterium would have already gotten the word. Lyra followed holding his hand Pan quickly scampered up her leg into her coat to burrow while Stelemaria raced after them, they began to walk quickly.

Then as they reached to cross a street Asriel heard a whistle, he whipped his head around as he saw a group of magisterium forces coming close to them having spotted him and Lyra. Asriel quickly turned to Lyra “Here put this on” he handed her the rucksack as Asriel then hoisted Lyra uplifting her placing her on his back quickly. Instructing her to hold on as she sat on his shoulders before making a run for it with Lyra. 

As Asriel ran Lyra looked back behind them and saw the magisterium forces now chasing them, she held on tighter and laid her head on his shoulder closing her eyes in fear. Asriel ducked into small roads and side streets to try and shake them. 

He quickly turned down one direction down an alleyway before he realized too late that he had gone down a dead end. Asriel’s face drained as he shouted “No, No!” as he quickly then ran to duck out only to see the forces still chasing them.

They were trapped.

Asriel and Stelmaria looked quickly around for anything to help them, an escape route, a place to hide anything. 

Then Stelmaria saw there was a way to climb onto the roof of one of the buildings he quickly ran over, he then placed Lyra down. “Lyra quick there isn’t much time. We have to climb” he instructed, Lyra understood and he made way to have her climb up first. The rucksack still on her back, he helped her up gently as he saw she expertly climbed quickly onto the roof. 

“Good girl” 

Lyra sat there watching as he quickly then made his way to climb only to see Magisterium forces quickly run up to him. Two had batons and grabbed him off the wall. Lyra gasped as she watched him thrown down on the ground and surrounded. Lyra watched with fear as Stelmaria glanced at her and Pan worriedly before helping Asriel and fought off the forces. 

One of the men punched her father in the face catching him off guard, they all held him as Lyra was powerless to do anything but watch. Lyra had tears form in her eyes with fear as she watched, she wanted to call out however saw Stelmaria glance once more at her in a warning. 

The men hoisted Asriel up so he could see, they lifted his head by his hair in threat. The commanding officer sauntered up to him wearing a uniform a little nicer than the rest of the men. He then asked threateningly shouting “Where is the girl?!” he asked getting in Asriel’s face, Lyra suppressed her breathing putting her hand over her mouth as she tried not to cry and be heard. 

Asriel looked the commanding officer in the eye before spitting out some blood, catching his breath he smiled tauntingly at the commanding officer. “Safe..somewhere you will never find her” he spat at him in response, almost telling the commanding officer to sod off. The commanding officer then with his face red enraged punched Asriel hard in the gut.

Lyra then cried out “Father!” from the roof scared and in reaction. The forces then looked up to see Lyra on the roof, all of them held surprise on their faces at the sight and sound of the girl. 

Asriel closed his eyes at the sound, he quickly looked up to her before eyeing the forces. He barreled out of their grips and tackled the commanding officer while screaming “Run Lyra!” he screamed out to her as Lyra quickly then ran along the roofs expertly with Pan flying overhead as a goldfinch. Lyra ran fearful as she ran as her father told her too, she crossed roofs as she heard shouts behind her and men following. 

“She’s on the roof, after her!” Lyra heard as she ran trying not to fall making her way across the rooftop, she heard whistles and boots running. 

  
  


Lyra leaped from roof to roof in her escape, adrenaline pumping as she listened to daemon’s making noise along with the forces trying to chase and find her. 

Lyra after a while quickly ducked behind a chimney on one of the roofs to hide, she shook catching her breath as she listened out for Magisterium and their daemons. After a while, the noise eventually died down. Lyra sat there with her eyes shut scared and alone. Just Lyra and Pan. 

They were on their own.


	9. Allies

Lyra sat on the roof hugging her knees to her chest trying to hold in her tears, her father's rucksack still on her back. As she let some sobs out she shook knowing that she and Pan were now on their own. Looking around with tears in her eyes, she wanted her mother and father.

Lyra placed her head on her knees feeling numb as she cried when suddenly she heard a voice.

"Are you alright?" Lyra quickly looked up fearful to see a girl around her age eyeing her on the roof, she was wearing simple clothes a beige button-up shirt and coveralls. She had red hair and grey eyes, a soft face and had a strong London accent.

Lyra seeing it was a girl sniffled and wiped her eyes of tears "My...my father. The magisterium took him" the girl's eyes softened as Lyra told her.

"I'm sorry. You're all alone?" She asked Lyra, who had nodded. The girl eyed Lyra concerned, the girl's daemon being a red cardinal landed on her shoulder.

"I'm Annie and this is Kyrillion and you are?" she introduced herself with her daemon, who took a bow at his name as Annie looked to Lyra in question.

Lyra hesitated before deciding she could trust her since she was a child like her. Lyra slowly stood up from the roof to stand in front of Annie. "I'm Lyra and this is Pantalaimon. He goes by Pan since he hates his full name" Pan squeaked on Lyra's shoulder at her words.

Annie's eyes widened at Lyra's name, as she connected a thought in her head. "You're the girl on all the posters the magisterium is looking for" she realized who Lyra was, she and the others had been wondering why the magisterium wanted a girl.

Lyra's eyes widened at her words, realizing that apparently everyone has been looking for her. Her mother was not going to stop, Lyra nodded.

"They took my father, he had taken me away to protect me. Now he's gone" Lyra looked down sad that Asriel had been taken not knowing if she would see him again.

Annie was in thought before she spoke "Well, me and a bunch of other children. The orphan's of London, that is, have been hiding from the gobblers together. You can join us, we're not much but we protect each other. Perhaps we can help you find your father, recently we've been trying to find the children that had gone missing" Annie proposed wanting to help Lyra and Pan seeing that they were alone.

Lyra thought about it, it was the only option at the current moment. Lyra nodded "Alright, I'll join you. My friend Roger was taken too, I need to find him and my father" Lyra smiled at Annie at the thought, they could band together and find them.

Lyra then had a smile start to form as she thought of an idea " and I think I know where we can get some help"

Annie smiled before walking over to Lyra, she then shook Lyra's hand.

"Welcome aboard"

* * *

Marisa Coulter was sulking in her penthouse apartment, she lounged on the very sofa two months ago Lyra had fallen asleep on and had been snatched away. She hugged the pillow to her chest, closing her eyes trying to remember her daughter within her arms.

The lift sounded off a ding announcing a guest, Boreal had exited the lift after being put through multiple layers of security from the security forces stationed to guard the penthouse and Mrs. Coulter.

The past night Benjamin and Tony had broken into her penthouse finding the papers with the children's names on them and quick glances at a map of what was referenced as on paper as the station up in the north.

Tony Costa had gotten away, while Benjamin hadn't been so lucky. She had beaten him producing a magnum pistol to protect herself, she wouldn't be caught off guard once more after what Asriel had pulled kidnapping their daughter.

Marisa choked him for answers, who had sent him and where Lyra was. He had sworn never to betray his family before jumping down into the lift shoot perishing instantly on impact. Benjamin's words struck Marisa Coulter in a way she hadn't expected. She thought of her family and wondered regretfully if she would betray them for the magisterium. Betray Lyra, perhaps before everything. Now, she would rather die herself.

Boreal sauntered into the penthouse to the living room where Marisa Coulter sat clutching the pillow. Sighing as he sat down "Your new security team are rigorous" after being thoroughly searched and questioned before being granted entry.

"Sadly they're necessary" she sighed thinking back to the past events.

"Gyptains, I hear. What do they want?" he asked, curious, fishing for information.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, she did not speak. Boreal then realized from her silence the answer to his question. "And the magisterium?"

"All taken care of. You still have a card to play" she cut him off in annoyance of the unwanted attention back on her project up north. They both sighed and thought to themselves before hearing a buzzing coming closer to the open window. Marisa in surprise noticed it, in shock that finally something she had done to find Lyra had borne fruit.

Boreal and Marisa watched as the spy fly flew into the penthouse open window, she held out her hand beckoning it to her in awe landing into her outstretched hand before closing in on itself revealing the location of Lyra.

Boreal whispered "A spy fly. Are you out of your mind?"

She stared at the closed fly in her hand with a look of relief and a smile on her face softening her eyes a bit moist. Her grin stretched across her soft face "We've found her". She had a mental image that came to mind of Lyra holding Asriel's hand in London, in a market.

The mother had no care of the repercussions, only wishing to find her child. Desperate in her acts. She closed her hand over the spy fly, almost as she was obtaining an object once lost.

* * *

Two Days Later:

"Come on Lyra!"

Annie shouted on the roofs playfully as she laughed running ahead with the other children from their group. Lyra and Pan ran after them in chase playing along as they raced across the rooftops.

It was exhilarating as Lyra ran with the other children, it was much different from Oxford. London was on another wavelength. A bustling city filled with so many rooftops to run along, climb and jump from.

The group of children Lyra had joined was a ragtag group of children, a bunch of them were orphans however the other half were upper-class children who sneak out of their homes when their parents mainly their servants aren't looking, partying, drinking and focusing only on their work ignoring their children every second.

They stuck together as a crew, they caused mischief, stealing, playing pranks on magisterium officers all the while seriously looking for the missing children. Mainly looking for their siblings, friends and other children who had been part of the crew that was snatched away.

The misfit group of children stuck together having fun along the roofs and in the streets of London, having been chased by the Magisterium in frustration and annoyance.

Since Lyra had joined them, she was good for having a sixth sense. One day when they had been spotted stealing some food from the market they had been chased only for Lyra to shout out the exact right route to escape on a gut feeling she had. Lyra had that happen much too often where the children and herself began to notice her skill.

Lyra sketched all of the children getting to know them all getting close, her heart weighed as she was reminded constantly of Roger and their adventures at Jordan hanging around this crew of children.

All of them had been nice to her, welcoming her with open arms. Annie seemed to be the leader of the crew. There were a total of seven children in the crew. There was Annie, Bella, Simon, Martha, Bridget, Charlie and David. Now with Lyra, it made a crew of eight, they were all held up in an abandoned clock tower that Charlie's father had owned for many years before passing away in an accident leaving him only to live with his drunken mother.

They called it their headquarters for their investigation, Lyra had been trying to with the crew locate the gyptians for their help. Only to find they were like smoke and difficult to find, Lyra thought probably because of the magisterium trying to crack down on them.

As they now raced across the rooftops they showed off their climbing skills to one another like a game, they reached a huge gap between roofs that had Simon stumble before stopping himself in fear glancing down at the height. Lyra laughed as she chased them not seeing Simon stop. She leaped across the huge gap in rooftops with no fear at all stubborn in achieving her goal, just like her parents.

Simon gasped out loud shouting in worry "Lyra!"

Lyra just made it onto the other roof however not with wincing as she scraped her ankle, she hid her pain and her wince as she smiled back at the crew who had watched in fear and awe of Lyra making the gap.

Lyra catching her breath turned to the lot of them breathing in the air "See nothing is impossible" smiling with confidence.

"Oi!" There was a shout from a man down below that had heard the name, it was a man in a black and white uniform. A member of the magisterium secret police, he blew his whistle at the children on the roof causing them to panic and look quickly to each other.

Bella then shouted "RUN!" as they all took off together along the roofs, this time magisterium officers had climbed the roofs quickly to chase them.

"STOP!" the officers shouted out to the group of children, none of them interested in stopping, fearing getting caught on the roofs by the magisterium as well as being taken. They knew the magisterium wouldn't take them like the gobblers would however their parents would find out their plan to find the missing children and they would be stopped.

Lyra knew why they were chasing them as Annie fearfully looked over to her catching her eyes as they all ran to getaway. They were after Lyra, wanting her captured to hand over to her mother and the magisterium. Lyra hadn't told them who she really was, all they knew is that she was wanted by the magisterium and by Mrs. Coulter.

As the crew ran jumping across the roofs expertly stepping, some showing off tricks to help them with their movements. Lyra spotting a clothing line on the roof hatched an idea, running ahead she timed it just right pulling back the line with Bridget who smiled at her plan. They pulled it back as two magisterium police ran into its path before they released it snapping into them causing them to be pushed onto their backs in pain as Lyra and Bridget laughed and ran away.

As they crossed between two building's Annie looked over nervously as she saw Magisterium guards trying to corner them in one direction, Lyra noticed this a second later.

"Go!" she shouted to everyone as they ran gesturing them to leave her behind.

Simon then shouted out "Not without you!" they halted for a second as they saw a path to getaway.

"Meet you back at headquarters!" Lyra shouted quickly as she separated from them not leaving them to fight her on it. Annie then shouted for them to come on as they got away, the magisterium police not following the other children only on a mission for the child that held value.

Lyra climbed over a chimney as she glanced back quickly seeing police still chasing her now alone, she panted catching her breath as she almost had her arm grabbed by one of the men.

Lyra then turned to go right jumping down a side of a roof reaching a roof terrace as she glanced around, she stopped to catch her breath her heart beating very fast sweat coming down her forehead. Lyra reached the edge of the building while running noticing it was pretty much a dead end of roofs, she quickly turned around only to see police circle her blocking her off holding up their hands to stop her.

There was nowhere to turn, she quickly eyed all the men as she made eye contact catching her breath. Then Lyra heard a slow clap as she saw a man, the commander approached. Lyra knew this man, he was the same man that had confronted and captured her father in that alley. As well as the man in the penthouse from two months back that had been shouting orders armed with guns.

"Well done Lyra" he congratulated with a laugh as he made eye contact with Lyra who furrowed her eyebrows and glared at the man.

Lyra said nothing as the wind blew moving her hair, the other policemen were standing ready in defense if she tried to run once more.

Lyra then bravely asked "How do you know my name?" eyeing the man who had beaten her father in front of her. Lyra's hand became a fist ready to take on the world if need be.

The man saw this and chuckled, seeing a little girl as an inconsequential unimposing threat compared to himself and his men. Before looking back at her, Lyra fabricated an escape route past all of them in her head.

"You're safe now" he then appealed to her trying to put the whole chase down to rest in a calming tone reserved for small children.

Lyra scoffed as she looked for an escape route away from them all, she was backed up at the edge. Looking down quickly behind her she saw door number one.

"Safe?!... You hurt Lord Asriel!" she shouted at them in disbelief, the man began to panic and think of what to say; she didn't want them to know their relation.

"We've been instructed not to harm you" he reassured as he held his hand out trying to seem peaceful, the same hand that struck her father.

"I highly doubt that '' Lyra then saw an opening as the man looked away for a second, Lyra then turned around and slid down the side of the roof near the balcony as the men shouted out in surprise. Lyra then while sliding then leaped to another building across grabbing onto a ledge before climbing up the new building and getting a clean break hearing shouts of frustration and anger from the man who had spoken to her.

Lyra got away from them after a couple of minutes making her way back to the headquarters not knowing to make sure she wasn't followed.

The commanding officer had run to the edge of the terrace where Lyra had jumped and gotten away, his hands on his hips radiating in anger. He now had to report that they had lost the girl to her.

* * *

"She got away ma'am there was not much to be done, the girl is highly resourceful" the magisterium police commander spoke explaining trying to sound reasonable delivering this news.

"You imbeciles!" Marisa Coulter shouted loud as she could in her anger, Ozymandias screeching attacking the waste bin next to the officer's desk as he told her the news. He shredded the paper with vicious intent, Mrs. Coulter glanced down at the floor as she tried to control her anger and emotions.

Her eyes then blazed staring the commander down. "First you let an armed raging lunatic kidnap my child, then you let a gyptian slip past your security detail to attack me in the night **then** you are within a **hair strand** of retrieving **my daughter** _and she slips through your fingers_?!" the man shook taken aback at the woman's anger, frustrated that he was getting a talking to.

Defending himself and his men "All of which were unfortunate events that should have been avoided. The girl was highly skilled" he bellowed out in defense as he himself was baffled that a little girl and children had outsmarted his men and himself.

Mrs. Coulter raised her eyebrows in warning as he spoke, Ozymandias scolding at the man glaring down his daemon who was a german shepherd dog who was not looking at him pouting in slight anger.

Mrs. Coulter looking at a poster on the man's desk of Lyra's smiling face, her eyes staring into Marisa Coulter's soul. She reached out for the poster brushing her fingers along Lyra's face "My daughter is a smart girl commander, you simply must be smarter. If she is not found, you will not have me to worry about oh no. You will have to answer to the Cardinal and the authority" she ended with a thick threat causing the commander to gulp at the mention of the cardinal.

The commander tried to appeal to her even well knowing Marisa Coulter did not appeal to anyone except one individual.

"She is a scared little girl, she will turn up eventually. Not all is lost, I had one of my top men track the girl from where we had lost her" he tried to sound confident, displeased and his ego hurt that he and his men could not secure a little girl.

Marisa's eyes softened looking at the picture of Lyra, thinking she must be so scared all alone and they had taken Asriel right in front of her. She had been told he was beaten before he was brought to Svalbard back in the north tucked away for safekeeping. Lyra must be frightened wherever she was, she wondered if she had any food or a place to sleep.

"Find her, bring her to me" she spoke low in a growling protective demanding voice.

The commander nodded mumbling out "Yes Mrs. Coulter" before she sauntered out of his office in anger and disappointment as another day went by without her child.

* * *

"We need to go find Lyra!" Simon cried out to Annie as she ordered and suggested they all wait at the headquarters; it was now dark out and raining hard.

"They had to have taken her Simon" Bella said defeated, Bridget sitting next to her bowing her head in silence sad. All of them wore sad expressions as another one of them had been taken, Annie was looking at a wall of the clock tower headquarters that contained pictures from newspaper clippings and a missing poster with Lyra on it.

"Do you really have little faith in me?" Everyone's heads turned to see Lyra walking in hearing them all talk. They all gasped smiles blooming on their faces before they all ran over to Lyra to each give her a hug or a pat on the back.

Annie gave her a hug smiling "I thought you were a goner" she spoke having been worried another one their friends had been taken.

Lyra smiled "Well, children are very resourceful" she misquoted something her mother once said to her.

Annie after breaking from their hug as Bridget came to hug Lyra, she crossed her arms in thought. "That was close you know" eying Lyra, the question she had been wanting to ask her since they met became unbearable.

"Why do the magisterium want you so badly?" Annie wondered curiously wondering what would tick the magisterium off so much to go after a child.

Lyra stood still as everyone looked at her as the question had been meant for her, she didn't know how to explain it. Lyra sighed as she then walked over to the wall with the newspaper clippings and a copy of her poster, Lyra then went over to her bed and her rucksack that was on the floor leaning against it to take out something.

Lyra then unfolded and held up the poster with the picture of her smiling with Mrs. Coulter "They're looking for me since my father kidnapped me from my mother. When Annie found me they had captured and arrested him for heresy right in front of me" Lyra explained the best she could as she sighed speaking with a soft voice, everyone's eyes widened.

"The only people who can help us now are the gyptians, we need to find them and fast especially if the magisterium police are onto us" Lyra spoke quickly as she explained as glanced at everyone.

Annie nodded at the information, Martha then asked "Where are the gyptians?" the question they had been asking for a couple of days. Lyra thought back to when she left Jordan in the zeppelin with Mrs. Coulter, the gyptians had traveled in boats. They needed to go to the waterline.

"The gyptians travel by boats, they must be by the water" Lyra spoke to them all as she glanced at Annie, the leader.

Annie looking at everyone who had semi-wide eyes "Alright, we must go to the gyptians. They would have the best ideas to get our friends and the other children back home" she spoke with confidence, everyone's face held nervousness and excitement that they had a plan to find the children. The progress that they hadn't had in a long time just running along the roofs and streets of London.

Lyra then turned to Annie formulating with the crew, everyone on board.

"We leave tomorrow"

* * *

In deep shakes of pouring rain in the dark of night, a magisterium officer looked on in the dark through squinted eyes as he watched the girl enter a clock tower, his daemon barking out in response.

He located Lyra.

Lightning and thunder struck out across the night sky


	10. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Add me on Instagram: misssilvertongue  
> Let me know how you would like the story to go, I'm confused about what people are looking for. Don't worry there will be plenty of Asriel and Lyra moments just like Lyra and Marisa. Would you guy's want me to follow the plot of the books and make a happy family ending or just fluff pieces of this chaotic family? Let me know

Lyra could not sleep as thunder rang out into the night-waking her up with a gasp from her dreams, it illuminated the tower for a second. Lyra wasn’t going to get back to sleep now, Pan groaned and shook, all fluffy and sleepy let out a little yawn. 

Lyra looked around the dark tower as everyone else slept knowing they were leaving tomorrow morning, they had all packed before going to sleep. Lyra slowly sat up in bed as she rubbed her face, closed her eyes and sighed as she thought back to her dream she had woken from. 

Lyra stood up and softly without making a sound walked over to the grand clock face window to look out into the night watching the rain pour down heavily. She chose to sit on the wooden floor and watch the rain, Pan running up to snuggle into her neck for comfort. 

Lyra sat there, half asleep looking out and as lightning flashed in the night once more. Something caught Lyra’s eye. Her eyes now wide awake watched as she noticed multiple magisterium police forces in groups approaching their headquarters. Lyra and Pan jumped up in surprise and fear, Lyra ran over to Annie's bed shaking her awake.

“Annie, everybody wake up! There are magisterium police coming towards the headquarters!” Lyra cried out as Pan jumped on Bridget’s bed first before leaping onto everyone’s waking them up urgently. 

Everyone sprang up in alarm out of their sleep, they ran to retrieve their things. Lyra ran over to her bed getting dressed quickly as everyone did the same. Scrabbling to put on her coat, she almost forgot her red knitted hat thinking of Asriel as everyone was soon ready with no time to waste. 

They all got together to the exit with all of their belongings wearing rucksacks, Lyra still having Asriel’s with all of his the things inside along with Lyra’s own items. They had run down the wooden stairs in a group hoping to not be seen as they left, Simon cautiously opened the hatch door on the rooftops checking for magisterium forces. 

He gestured for them to follow slowly as they made their way closing the hatch behind them in the pouring heavy rain. They had made it across the roof of the tower before the rain which was thick made the roof very slippery causing Martha to slip.

Bella in reaction “Martha” as Martha screamed in surprise, she reached her hand before Martha fell off the roof catching her. She had been right next to her, Lyra and the others looked over in alarm sighing as they saw Bella caught her. 

As Martha stood up back on the roof again after being lifted, they heard a growl from a dog daemon before torches were shined upon them like headlights. They all blinked through the light before their eyes adjusted, they all took off running along the rooftops with a large amount of more police than what was chasing Lyra before in the day. 

There were shouts of ‘halt’ and loud barks through the rain and thunder as they all ran, terrified as they were chased. They all ran towards the direction of the water where they had planned to go in the morning, thinking they might reach the gyptians and they would protect them. 

Annie called to them to follow as she found a fire escape to climb down onto to get to ground level to avoid falling off the roofs in the rain. Lyra made sure all of them went down first as she then followed, the forces were everywhere even in the dark wet empty streets. They were being hunted, Bridget jumped down before Lyra following right behind. 

Everyone had started running down the street as Lyra jumped down herself running to catch up to them, the rain having soaked them all making it hard to see. 

Pan ran next to Lyra as a snow fox running with a vigor keeping up the crew in the torrential downpour her feet slid as she tried to run falling behind. 

Lyra watched as they kept on running ahead, she quickly looked to Pan worriedly then towards her friends as Lyra tried to catch up “Wait for me!” Lyra shouted as she ran down the long street only to run to see her friends again only to a magisterium officer jump out at her in the dark from an alley trying to catch her. Lyra quickly avoided his reach avoiding him as she screamed out in surprise having not seen him. 

Lyra ran passed the man towards her friends who had been running ahead, a second later they too were confronted a group of magisterium police who appeared from an alleyway running towards them from the side. One of them quickly snatched and lifted Martha into his arms “Got’cha” he exclaimed as Martha struggled, Annie and everyone stopped fighting and running out of the forces reach as they tried to catch them. They all fought hard, Lyra’s eyes widened as she saw Martha being lifted by a man into his arms. 

“Oi” Lyra shouted as she kicked the man in the leg, he shouted in pain releasing his grip on Martha just enough for her to struggle out of his arms. The man confronted Lyra who then held out her hands in surrender shouting “wait” getting the man’s attention in confusion before she kicked him where the sun did not shine. 

Lyra turned to get away with the crew, the man bent down in pain. The man glanced up at Lyra as she threw the two-fingered backward peace sign gesture telling the man where to stick it before running away. 

Now all together the children ran like the wind into the hard cold rain, they turned down various roads reaching now one of the main roads near the water.

“We’re nearly there!’ Annie shouted out to everyone as they reached a fork in the main road, as they ran they were still being pursued with a vengeance. The magisterium wasn’t letting little children foil them and give them a run for their money for a second time. They were determined even more so after the threat they and the commander had received no, this ended tonight. 

The commander of the magisterium had planned to cut off the children as they chased them communicating to block them off ahead unsuspectedly. What they hadn’t known was that the gyptians knew all about the magisterium forces attack and chase on the little group, has been trying to find Lyra since they got word of Lord Asriel’s capture. 

Close on their feet right behind glancing back were the magisterium forces, wielding flashlights daemon’s barking. Boots hitting the pavement, Simon saw an idea to knock waste bins down and create obstacles behind them to slow down the magisterium. 

The children were frightened their hearts pumping, beating wildly as their eyes widely looked around them to see where they would go. Their only plan was to reach the water, not much else now with the magisterium on their tails they had to think quickly or it would be all over. 

They had made it to the water, the main street with the canal next to it. Suddenly they spotted the gyptian boats in the distance, the children starting screaming for help which got the gyptian's attention. The gyptians suddenly emerged topside on the boats to see what the noise was about, seeing children running from the magisterium they sprung into action firing up their boats.

Father Coram squinted in the dark heavy rain spotting Lyra Belaqua, he shouted out to her as the children all ran towards the boats the magisterium seeing this went faster. John Faa had fired up their boats and turned around to race towards the children to help after seeing Lyra as well. The children had been shouting and waving at them frantically. 

Father Coram shouted out to the children as they made their way alongside them ahead moving, telling the children to jump on to the boat. Simon jumped first then Bella and Martha, then Charlie and Annie jumped making it leaving Lyra who was last. 

Ma Costa appeared top side helping the children, she fearfully watched as Lyra tried to make it onto the boat the commander of the magisterium now right behind her directly, Ma Costa made eye contact with Lyra “Lyra jump girl!” She shouted frantically to help Lyra to safety.

"STOP!" the commander screamed out at Lyra the fastest of them all, his men right behind him.

Annie reached out her hand for Lyra quickly "Lyra take my hand!" Lyra then attempted to jump reaching Annie's hand only to be caught on the ankle by the commander sending her crashing down on the wet cobblestone pavement of the road. Her hand slipped out of Annie's with the force, the fright in her eyes looking at Annie. Lyra then fell her head hitting the pavement.

Lyra saw a blur, her sense dulled a ringing in her ears.

The cold rain continued to hit her face, her eyes closed a gash now on the side of her head beginning to bleed onto the cobblestone. 

A boat engine sounding as it had to drive off quickly into the night, a scream ringing out into the thundering rain-filled night. 

“LYRA!” the crew cried out in anguish as their friend did not make it. As the boat pulled away all of them were somber in shock and sadness, Charlie had started to cry.

Her name was the last thing Lyra heard before she blacked out.

An emergency services automobile had been dispatched out onto the scene, they took Lyra away loading her up wrapped up in warm blankets as they rushed her in the night to the hospital. 

Marisa Coulter was woken up to a constant ringing from the ground floor late in the night, as soon as she heard it and it registered she knew it had to do with Lyra. Her heart leaped that her little girl had been finally found, Asriel was taken away while Lyra was still out there all alone. 

Only when Marisa Coulter listened to the ground floor receptionist, her face went pale and her body became numb as she felt faint clutching the button of the telecom near the lift. Ozymandias gripped the wall as they listened. 

She doesn’t recall changing into a random outfit quickly put together, not even caring if she looked presentable having gotten into an automobile with her driver driving her to the hospital. As soon as they pulled up she ripped the door open herself not even waiting for her chauffeur to do it for her, Ozymandias following in quick movements as Marisa Coulter stormed through the door of the hospital to the receptionist. 

Breathing heavily with tears in her eyes, clinging to Ozmandias’s hand tightly she quickly spoke “My daughter was just brought in. Lyra” she quickly said frantic, worried beyond reason, her heart hurt. 

One of the nurses had glanced up at Marisa Coulter in shock, as she then turned her head to the list of new arrivals. “Lyra...Lyra what?” the nurse asked looking to find who the woman was referring to. 

Marisa Coulter froze as her mouth hung open as she struggled to speak “Lyra Belacqua” she muttered as she glanced in pain at the laminated desk in the haze of emotions. 

The nurse scanned the list-making quick work seeing the name, she located the room number. “She in room 399 ma’am” she did not wait for another second after hearing she darted off towards the room holding her daughter as she shoved everything in her mind to the side only thinking of Lyra. 

The baby she refused to hold when born, the child she tried desperately not to think of over the years. The baby that she regretfully dreamed of the year on end, seeing Asriel at events and parties only to be reminded of the fact they shared a child. A child she denied, lied about herself to the Magisterium denying her sin. 

Ever since Lyra settled in her heart, she had been neglecting her work in the north. No progress had been made causing the magisterium to be hell-bent on finding Lyra as much as she was so that it could resume. Lyra had become her top priority, Asriel was no longer studying dust making the Cardinal satisfied. For now. For some reason the magisterium has been very assistive in finding Lyra, Marisa had suspicions however nothing was clear. The only thing that mattered was that it brought Lyra back to her, or so she assumed. 

Reaching the room, Ozymandias quickly pulled on the door handle making quick work of opening the door. Marisa Coulter darted inside once seeing the figure on the bed, she ran over to the unconscious Lyra. As soon as she laid her eyes on her, tears were free-flowing to the point she was sobbing. In her mind, she had failed, broken her promise and now Lyra laid here. 

Lyra lay with her eyes closed and white bandages over her head and forehead, her hair peeking out; Pan lay on his back on her chest. 

Marisa Coulter sat down in the visitor's chair next to the bed pulling it as close as possible, she stared at Lyra with tears in her eyes her chin wobbling as she held the back of her hand to her mouth to suppress her sobs as she shook. 

Ozymandias whimpered next to her, as he looked to Marisa with wet eyes he reached arms out to her. She allowed him to enter her arms in a hug, something they haven’t done in so many years. He had his arms wrapped around her for a while before sitting on the chair’s arm.

Marisa reached a shaky hand to her daughter’s pale cold face, holding it in her hand her thumb on Lyra’s check brushing lightly like had done in the past. 

It had been two months. Two months since she had last seen Lyra. 

Lyra who had been comfortable with her, adjusting to her home snatched away by Asriel. Marisa held anger in her heart towards Asriel, however, it had dissipated as she had been given photograms by spies and officers seeing Lyra with Asriel. 

He had clothed her, took care of her, protected her, and spent time with her taking her to parks, a carnival and out with him while hiding. With their daughter, the most painful part of it all looking at those photograms was that she herself was not there with them. She did not wish to admit that was what she wanted, the magisterium would never allow it. 

Looking at Lyra, lying here in the hospital bed two months later. This was not how she wanted things to turn out, she wanted her daughter safe and found. Not like this. Marisa softly moved her hand caressing Lyra’s face moving up her hair getting a look at the injury to her head. She gently brushed in sympathy wishing to take it away. 

Tears fell upon her face, she then grabbed Lyra's hand tightly bringing it to her face holding it there kissing it. Tears continuing to fall, she had done this. This was her fault, she angrily thought to herself. 

As Marisa had an internal battle with herself, she heard a shift in Lyra’s breathing she glanced over with intense eyes. Lyra had moved her head slightly, she almost missed it. Speaking softly “Lyra, it’s alright. Mama’s here darling. Your safe” she softly whispered to Lyra, who at the sound of the soft voice her eyelids fluttered. 

Seeing Lyra had begun to come to she then quickly ran to the hall to reach a nurse to fetch the doctor, they came quickly in the room asking Mrs. Coulter to step back from the bed. She moved back an inch not anymore as she watched on as the doctor then called out for Lyra who began to start opening her eyes before she quickly cringed and moaned in pain turning her head to the side. 

Marisa quickly flocked over to her side ignoring the looks from the doctor and the nurse as she brushed Lyra’s forehead with her fingers gently. Eventually, Lyra opened her hazy eyes not seeing much besides a blur at first, the doctor then shined a torch into her eyes causing her to moan and cry a bit at the pain in her head. Marisa glared at him after she did so, causing the doctor to stop after the quick check. 

“Lyra?” the doctor called out to Lyra to get her to come to more. Lyra after a couple of minutes kept her eyes open, she glanced up seeing the doctor she looked at him confused before glancing at the woman who was right next to him who had been brushing the hair back from her forehead. 

“Wh….wh..” Lyra tried to speak, the words not forming correctly, as she closed her eyes leaning back on the pillow. 

Marisa spoke softly to her “Hush darling, it’s alright. Your safe, try not to speak” she smiled softly at Lyra now stroking the girl’s face looking with sad endearing eyes. 

Lyra was sleepy, frustrated and confused. Marisa’s voice was soothing, Lyra was stubborn.

Lyra opened her eyes glancing at the doctor, the nurse then into her mother’s eyes 

“Who are you?”

Marisa Coulter’s eyes widened and her body froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Add me on Instagram: misssilvertongue  
> Need to know if you guys want me to follow the plot of the books/show? or do my own thing with fluff moments of this family that never got to be in this alternate universe.  
> Let me know on Instagram or in the comments


	11. Suffering

Everything seemed to get more and more confusing as time wore on endless questions forming, Lyra laid in her hospital bed staring at the ceiling which was white and cream in color. As raised voices were making noise from the door, she turned her head towards the noise. All that could be heard at first was screaming and shouting along with tears from that woman who had held her face in hand. The one who had looked at her like she was everything. She held love in her tear filled eyes.

Lyra wondered if that woman was her mother, it seemed likely since she seemed to care a great deal for her. Looking at the woman she noticed the similarities between herself and the woman, which lead to further questions inside her mind.

All Lyra knew was that her name was Lyra and that her daemon’s name was Pantalaimon and they both had no clue what had happened before they were in this hospital. Lyra furrowed her eyebrows in worry and at the feeling that one would akin to being lost in a boat on the open sea. For a while no one entered her hospital room, they had her wearing a hospital gown and an identification bracelet. 

Lyra glanced at it noticing that it lacked a last name upon it, which made her sigh in disappointment. Looking at Pan who watched interestingly as she checked the bracelet on her wrist, Lyra glanced at him. “I wonder who we are” Lyra elaborated her wants for answers having no one to talk to. 

Lyra and Pan glanced around the room before Pan noticed before Lyra the brown leather rucksack near the corner. Lyra then quickly glanced at the door before she slowly and cautiously got up from the hospital bed, she couldn’t go far for the fact of being hooked up to tube and wires. However, she was able to make it near the rucksack enough to open it to reveal on top a brown leather journal.

Lyra with soft hands removed the journal from the rucksack before closing it back up and retreating back to the bed, Pan moving out of the way so Lyra could lay back down. As Lyra settled back on the bed her head began to ache some from the effort.

Lyra breathed for a bit trying to calm herself from the effort of getting up, she settled with Pan curling himself near her as possible as Lyra carefully opened the journal. On the page opened contain sketches of various people that seemed to be somewhat familiar however were a distant fuzzy memory, one that stuck out was of what seemed to be herself and a young boy standing next to her on what appears rooftops.

It looks like there were other smiling children added on the same page, there were clippings of some newspapers with the headlines of rooftop thieves placed in between the pages. Lyra flipped the next few pages before she suddenly stopped on a page of a powerful looking man who had a snow leopard for a daemon. Something inside Lyra was telling her that this man meant something, he was important. Next to the sketch of the man was a sketch of what Lyra could make out was of the woman that was in the room before, she could tell for the sight of the golden monkey right at her side. 

Glancing at the full picture Lyra noticed another sketch of herself in between the man and the woman caused her to close her eyes in reaction and moan in discomfort causing Pan to cry out loudly a bit as Lyra had a sharp pain run through her head. 

The conversations from outside the door silenced quickly as the door was pushed open quickly as the woman stormed in with tears in her eyes, she had heard Pan cry out like she had never heard before. Marisa Coulter stopped everything running to her child’s side. 

* * *

Outside the hospital room, Marisa Coulter was beside herself, as she was told by the doctor the status of Lyra. The doctor had no control over what had happened, he briefed her on how Lyra had seemed to be a bit underweight otherwise healthy besides the bruising and scrapes on her as well the most important injury the blow to her head. There were no operations to be needed, the only fact that remains is her apparent memory loss which had Marisa fuming. 

She ordered them and was assured Lyra would not be hurt, however yet here she was in the hospital with a head injury and memory loss. Lyra had no idea who Marisa was let alone anything about herself, she hadn’t the foggiest idea on how to handle this situation alone. 

Marisa held her fingers to her mouth in thought and to suppress her emotions from escaping her mouth clutching a wet tissue within her fingers with slightly shaking hands. Listening to the doctor half-listening as he explained Amnesia and it’s symptoms to her, as her vision blurred to the hallway behind him listening to each detail in disbelief. It was cold and way early in the morning as the sun started to come up very gradually, still dark save for the fluorescent lights within the sterile hospital corridor. 

“She will need some time to come back to focus, we will hold her for a week's time for observation to make sure she is alright before she can go home” the doctor assured her as he glanced at her sullenly with melancholy as he delayed the information.

“Is there anything that would help?” she asked softly worried wanting to help her daughter in any way possible. 

The doctor looked at her for a second before sighing “Anything that may help jog her memory, photograms, her favorite toy, perhaps a comfort item of sorts. Taking her home would help, showing her where she was raised. Talk about memories and moments from her past are essential” he stressed the importance as he listed all the possible ways to help Lyra regain her memory. 

Marisa nodded her head with tears in her eyes determined, before realizing that she had no idea on how to help her daughter since she hadn’t raised her. 

She thought pitiful and spiteful to herself ‘I have been a terrible mother’. The child who she had not seen take her first smile, her first steps, her first word, her first laugh, Pantilmion’s first change, her first everything she had missed it all. All gone, all those years gone. Missed every single one. 

In her shock as her mouth opened a bit in the horror of her past failure as a mother hit her like a ton of bricks. In her internal hatred a scream from Pan tore out into the hospital from the Lyra’s room, Marisa turned clear away from the doctor following as she slammed open the door entering the room.

Both adults rushed to Lyra’s side noticing she clutched a brown leather journal with very detailed sketched drawn, Marisa had no care for the journal only Lyra. She moved the journal out of the way to the side table to get off Lyra, as she quickly brushed her fingers to Lyra trying to soothe her as she clutched her head and Pan whined before yelping once more crying out in pain. 

Lyra had tear's running down her cheeks as her head was in immense pain, she tried to form the sentence along the lines of ‘it hurts’ only for it to come out in slurred speech. The doctor noticed what was occurring quickly told the nurse who had rushed in after them to turn off the lights in the room. 

Marisa glanced at the doctor in worry as he made the motion with his arms to calm down as he went over to Lyra’s tubes and I.V. administering some pain medication to help Lyra. The nurse then drew the blinds closed as Marisa took Lyra in her arms not caring as she crawled onto the hospital bed and held Lyra to her in her arms.

Lyra hiccuped and cried through the pain as she attempted to calm down, Marisa held Lyra shushing her and holding her to calm her down. The nurse left as Marisa Coulter placed a soft kiss on Lyra’s head careful of her stitches and her head injury as Lyra became limp in her arms passing out in her arms.

The doctor then spoke as Lyra passed out after a couple of minutes “Going forward one has to be careful with Lyra, take things slow. She is in a delicate state and any overwhelming stress shall not do well for her head at the moment” Marisa had her hand on Lyra's back rubbing circles in comfort holding Lyra to her, nodding to the doctor’s caution fearing for her child. Resting her chin on top of Lyra’s head softly as she dreaded the outcome of these tragic turn of events.

Before leaving, the doctor then turned back to Marisa preparing to share some news breathing in some air and exhaling. “Mrs. Coulter I do have to warn you, there may be a chance that Lyra may never remember who she is and more importantly who she was. Matter of fact would be a great tragedy indeed” he smiled sullenly as he closed the door to leave bowing his head holding a clipboard in one hand carefully shutting the door silently behind him as he departed. 

As she was left alone to her sorrow-filled thoughts and worries, Marisa Coulter cried as tears dripped down her face landing on Lyra as she held her daughter in her arms. 

How could she help Lyra, when Lyra had no way to remember her. Especially who Lyra was herself. The girl she had met at Jordan college that had grown up without her was non-existent as if wiped clean or in a fog. Then a thought appeared in her mind, perhaps they could start anew. She could pretend she had been with her the entire time, she quickly dashed the idea from her mind knowing the girl with or without her memories was clever. She needed Asriel.

Marisa felt at a loss with herself, all those years of fighting and maintaining control over her life all gone in an instant as her daughter lies in her arms in a hospital lack of memory having no clear thought as to who she is and who Marisa was to her. She supposed this was her suffering for her sins.

Everything was taken away once more, yet she still got what she had sought after. As she breathed in letting out a sob as she shook holding Lyra to her as she let her emotions out for the first time in years. As she cried for everything she had missed, lost and failed to obtain. She sobbed, crying out as she thought.

At what cost?

A little bit aways on the side table laid Lyra’s journal full of sketches, the page opened containing the sketch of Lyra, Asriel, and Marisa along with their daemons smiling as a family. Lyra had written mother and father next to her parents, they looked happy. An image of a dream young Lyra held in her heart and her mind. 

Asriel Balacqua laid on the cold wet cobblestone floor of Svalbard’s jail cell in the den of the panserbjorne polar bears, there was blood smeared along the floors and walls throughout the palace in the cell. He stared at the blank blackened stone ceiling thinking of a great many things. 

He had hoped by now Lyra was either safe and had gotten away, he had high hopes for her accomplishing such since she was a clever and resourceful girl. He had whispered that they were still looking for her after he was questioned on where Lyra may possibly be hiding not giving up any information.

The main goal Asriel had been working towards was to convince Iofur Raknison the current king of the panserbjorne to let him free and continue his research, he planned to give the king the rest of his money in order to do so. Lyra would eventually end up back with her Marisa or the Gyptians both of which would see her being safe. 

As of right now Asriel was swinging a rock from broken cobblestone into the air above him and catching it to pass the time waiting to have a meeting with the king. Stelemaria laid beside him curled up both of them trying to keep warm in the damp cold dungeons. 

His mind kept drifting away from his research and his mission to what he found was thoughts of Marisa and their child. He thought of Marisa and Lyra, his family. 

Water droplets dripped down in the silence making a drip every two seconds the only sounds besides the shuffling of metal and bangs in the distance from the bears. 

He tried to shake his thoughts back to his work and research it was important, the fate of the world going forward depended upon it. He could find out what Dust is if it really is original sin or if it something else entirely. He was an explorer and his work was all he had….or was it? 

The thought of Marisa’s eyes when he glances at him invaded his mind, holding her close. 

Asriel then cringed as he couldn’t bring his mind back to the experiment, Stelemaria chuckled at his antics as he gave her an incredulous look.

Suddenly there was stomping coming towards his cell, causing him to shift his gaze away from Stelemaria and towards the noise quickly getting up from the wet cobblestone floor. 

“Belacqua!” he heard the pounding of a gruff bear approach the jail cell, however, what had taken Asriel by surprise was the sight of Father Macphail and some Magisterial forces behind him. Asriel had become high alert when he noticed the Macphail was accompanied by the special forces commanding officer that had sucker-punched him. 

After he had been taken away from Lyra loaded into a transportation vehicle and taken away to Svalbard courtesy of Marisa Coulter.

Asriel took hold of the grate of the jail cell as the men and bears escorting them approached his jail cell, he sucked in a breath with slight fear they were there for his execution. He would never see Marisa and Lyra once again, his daughter’s last memory of him would be of him being taken away he closed his eyes in mourning, displeasure and great disappointment. He had never been a father to that girl, one of his greatest mistakes. 

Father Macphail was accompanied by the commander of the magisterial task force, dressed in his clear cut black and white uniform sporting gloves and hat showing his rank. They stopped their steps outside of the jail cell holding Asriel Belacqua. 

Father Macphail with gritted teeth began to speak “Asriel Belacqua, you have been accused of crimes of heresy against the Magisterium and especially before the authority” he seemed to have a face of constipation as if he wished to be elsewhere. The commander-general carried a stone face lacking expression, his daemon sat next to him posed and neutral. 

Asriel bowed his head in acceptance of his grim fate, as he gripped the bars in his hands. 

“Despite these allegations, certain circumstances have come to light in your favor. For some reason, the authority seems to be forgiving towards you. The child you and Mrs. Coulter lack responsibility for has been brought back to her mother, however, it seems she is suffering from Amnesia. Therefore, Mrs. Coulter on your behalf has spoken to the Cardinal in talks of a compromise that would highly benefit the Magisterium and above all the authority including you” Macphail spoke with gritted teeth and some displeasure of relaying this information, however, held back since he is bound to serve and protect the Magisterium and the authority it upholds. 

Asriel lifted his head in surprise as his mouth laid agape at the news he was being presented, the magisterium was offering him a deal. Marisa must have been exceedingly desperate in order for her to weave her fingers around the magisterium especially the cardinal in order for them to be having this conversation. Something has happened to Lyra that must have spooked her rightfully so in order for her to accomplish this feat; amnesia which made Asriel shake as well with slight worry. As he stood in disbelief and shock looking at Father Macphail who is president of the Consistorial Court of Discipline within the magisterium this was legitimate. 

“Mrs. Coulter had proposed a compromise of sorts, with a varying degree of conditions all of which have been discussed in a great deal with the Cardinal. Do not mistake the mercy of the authority and of the Cardinal lightly. You are to adhere to the term set out by the Magisterium or you shall be brought right back to Svalbard. Where you shall be shown as an example of what happens to those who defy the authority and the will of the magisterium” Macphail warned Asriel with harshness as he laid down the line. 

Asriel listened intently with a bitter taste inside his mouth, he would have to agree or he would risk being killed as an example where he would never see the fruition of his work. He also would never see Lyra again, the church would also punish her in order to punish him if he failed to agree as well; that he knew for certain. Additionally, Marisa had stuck her neck out of him, a surprising turn of events. Marisa of all things wouldn’t have done anything to help Asriel, not after everything they had gone through in the past, unless for Lyra. She needed him for the girl, he had raised her after all along with the Master. Asriel deduced she must have done all of this for Lyra, not for him; never for him not anymore. 

“What do these conditions entail?” Asriel asked softly needing to know what he must endure, what was at stake. 

Macphail sighed as he narrowed his eyes at Asriel through the dark bars illuminated through candlelight, as he retrieved a Magisterium order of conditions handwritten by the Cardinal himself marked with the Magisterial seal. 

Opening up the order he began to read out “The conditions of which include..”

“Atonement for all past and current sins. Exaltation in reference to your Lordship, properties and inheritance pending on pledging your faith and belief; fully towards the Authority and the Magisterium” Asriel held back a scoff, as he figured they would include him pledging to the magisterium.

However a part of him leaped at the chance of retrieving everything that had been lost to him when his affair with Marisa took place, he lay in shock at the thought of it. His jaw clenched as he knew he had to agree to everything he did not believe in, all in order to get what he wished. Lyra safe and to continue his work. 

“Your work, including notes and findings are to be handed over to the Magisterium. This follows you’re a complete and upmost corporation in joining the Oblation Board alongside Mrs. Coulter. Where you will be contributing your work in an effort to preserve the future from sin” 

Asriel had thought’s forming inside his mind as he saw ways that he could outwit and manipulate the Magisterium from the inside, a power he had not had before which he could use to his advantage. He thought slyly. He could obtain everything he wanted.

“Speaking of Marisa Coulter and the matter of the child you sinfully share” Father Macphail clasped his hand together to stand rigid in front of Asriel closing the order, as he broached the last condition.

Asriel’s eyes softened as he feared for Lyra, knowing the magisterium had wanted the girl for some reason ever since she was born. He worried they would hold his failings and rebellion towards the Magisterium against her. His eyes hardened as Macphail mentioned Lyra, his grip of the metal bars strengthened. 

“You and Marisa Coulter shall be wed in witness of the authority, atoning for both of your past sins making your child legitimate in the eyes of authority”

Asriel grinned through the bars like a wolf on a mission insight of his prey, he would fool them all. 

“I accept” 

The magisterium wouldn’t know what hit them.


	12. Who

Lyra’s eyes adjusted to the light being shined in her eye by the doctor from his torch, she blinked her eyes anticipating pain only for it not to come. Her eyes cleared as the light was removed as the doctor turned it off, she blinked multiple times as she glanced past the doctor at the woman who had returned the very next morning dressed in a nice dress looking professional and stunning. The woman had yet to say anything besides stare at Lyra longingly, worriedly and fearfully which Lyra found interesting. 

Lyra pretended not to stare as to not be rude, she glanced at the hospital room wallpaper which was full of interesting colors as to appear cheerful, it was this pattern since she was in the children’s ward. 

“Any pain or sharpness Lyra?” the doctor's word brought Lyra back to his attention as she turned her head silently towards him. Lyra only softly shook her head in response that she hadn’t felt the pain at that time, her head was still sore and she felt pressure however it was not currently like it was the day before where she had passed out from the pain. Lyra remembers safe arms wrapped around her, a calming feeling; the woman. 

Lyra played with her hospital gown as she nervously was checked over by the doctor, she felt uncomfortable and a tad scared not knowing anything or anyone. All she had were assumptions and numerous questions on a really long list inside her mind. The top being who she was, the next who the woman was.

The doctor took off his stethoscope to check Lyra’s heart which made Lyra nervous and she flinched when it touched her chest being so cold. The doctor smiled reassuringly as he checked her heart and breathing instructing her to breathe in and then out. Lyra followed his instructions as he performed his examination, checking her ears last. 

“Alright Lyra, I am going to ask you some questions” the doctor then asked Lyra who at the sound of his voice sheepishly stopped fiddling with her hospital gown. 

Lyra listened intently wishing to know any and all information, Pan coming up to sit on her lap as he sniffed the doctor listening as intently. 

“Do you know where you are?” he asked the basic question trying to gauge how much the girl remembered. 

“The hospital” Lyra spoke very low unsure of herself, she had deduced that was where they were based on everything around her and the presence of the doctor. 

“What is your name?” he asked this time getting to the important questions. 

Lyra sat there without saying anything for a second or two, Marisa took in a sharp breath as she saw firsthand the damage that had been done. 

“Lyra?” Lyra asked unsure, she had heard the doctor reference her that name when she first woke up in the hospital fully in pain. Pan squinted up at Lyra who glanced at him in return, both feeling as equally lost. 

“Alright and your daemon’s name is?” he asked next, as Lyra hesitated glancing at Pan Ozymandias made a sad sound akin to a whine Marisa holding him back near her where he sat on the arm of the chair she was sitting in facing Lyra and the doctor. 

“Pan” Lyra spoke knowing her daemon’s name over her own, for some reason she did not know. 

Marisa couldn’t take it as she was brought back to a babies cry and a tear-filled day “Pantaliamion” she muttered out as she lowered her eyes to Pan, filled with melancholy. Lyra looked over at the woman with a curiosity at the information supplied by the woman who glanced at her with sad guilty eyes. 

The doctor then looked at Marisa meeting her eyes as he silently asked her a question before she slightly nodded her head as the woman stood up from her chair slowly sauntering closer to Lyra. 

Lyra watched her as the woman crouched down to her level, Lyra had been sitting on the edge of the hospital bed while she had been examined. The doctor had been off to the side on a metal stool with wheels, he slid out of the way a bit for the woman. 

Marisa then softly took Lyra’s smaller delicate hands into her own as she looked at Lyra, she really looked at her daughter here. Lyra’s hair had grown in the past couple of months, she hadn’t cut it like she had discussed with her once while in the bath. Lyra’s face had looked smaller a bit, she had lost some weight according to the doctors. 

The doctor slowly then asked “Lyra, do you know who this woman is?” he then gestured to Marisa who held Lyra’s hands in her very delicately as she adjusted her grip in fear and fear of Lyra pulling away from her. So many times had Lyra been pulled away from her. 

As Lyra listened to the question she then innocently looked at the woman, she glanced into Marisa’s eyes and looked directly right through her catching Marisa’s breath away. 

“No...I’m sorry” she whispered out seeing the woman so upset, Lyra knew one thing she didn’t wish for her to be sad. 

Marisa held a sound of sadness in her throat as she blinked back tears trying to hold herself together, she gripped Lyra’s hands. Just as she had done when Lyra had confided in her about Roger being missing at Jordan college, trying to comfort Lyra and herself. 

Marisa sucked in her top lip as she held back her emotions as she then let one hand go to brush back Lyra's hair that had gone astray pushing it behind her ear. 

As Marisa breathed in once more taking Lyra’s hand once more, she looked into her daughter’s innocent, curious unknowing eyes. Marisa softly smiled as tears formed in her eyes as she softly smiled trying to comfort Lyra, she opened her mouth the words softly refusing to surface at first.

“I am your mother Lyra, I’m your mother” Marisa glanced down in her sad thoughts as she was brought back to when Lyra had first returned to her after finding out the truth. 

“Hello” Lyra then whispered to her mother, which caused Marisa to smile at her for the first time since they had been reunited having been reminded of when she met Lyra at Jordan all those months ago. She had missed her so much, Marisa reached out her hand cupping Lyra’s face in her hand like she had done so before. Lyra closed her eyes relaxing at the touch, she then brought Lyra in towards her for a hug cradling her head as she exhaled.

Marisa sighed a small weight of her chest as she held her child, she had been so scared for her trying everything and anything to bring her home. She had missed her with every fiber of her being, one hand wrapped around her she breathed in Lyra’s scent. 

Pantalimion then curled onto Lyra’s neck as a white ermine snuggling into Marisa catching her by surprise, as she held her child. 

Ozymandias feeling left out leaped onto the bed to come close wrapping his arms around Lyra and Marisa as well. Lyra felt Ozymandias hug her catching her by surprise, her mother must have been worried for her and loved her for her daemon to be hugging her as well; Lyra felt a warmth in her heart.

After a couple of minute’s Marisa loosened herself from Lyra, she rubbed the girls’ arms in comfort as she looked at her with a sad smile on her face. “I had been so worried darling, you had been gone for a couple of months, you were lost and they found you…. You don’t happen to remember...anything?” Marisa inquired wanting desperately how much Lyra recalled if anything, Lyra looking lost tried to think back on some kind of memories only reaching a haze.

“I don’t remember” Lyra spoke her fears as she softly whispered, she wanted to remember not knowing anything about herself or her past was infuriating and frightening. Lyra wore a sad expression, Pan bowing his head sharing the same sentiment. 

Marisa looked down wondering how she was to handle this delicate situation, she faced a dilemma of either telling Lyra the whole truth, she could tell the truth omitting certain details or she could try and lie to her completely. 

Marisa taking Lyra’s hands into her’s once more she sighed before speaking “Lyra, when they found you. There was an accident, where you hit your head” Marisa winced in pain glancing at Lyra’s injured head with white bandages surrounding it. Lyra listened intently wanting to know any and all information. 

The doctor then chose to elaborate “Afterwards you were brought here to the hospital, based on your lack of memory and your head injury we believe you are suffering from retrograde amnesia” he spoke softly preparing them for the news, Marisa only looked down in thought, as they both listened. 

“I’m sure you have numerous questions about everything, this must be awfully confusing for you Lyra. Not to worry, eventually, your memory will return and everything will be alright” the doctor spoke hopefully trying to cheer Lyra up who smiled softly for a second. 

The doctor then stood up “Right, now I must go. I have other patients, please send for the nurse if anything comes up” he smiled softly in a charming way as he walked out of the room leaving Lyra alone with her mother.

Lyra watched the doctor go, while Marisa watched Lyra she held an expression on her face of dread. Pan then made moves to curl up into Lyra’s lap trying to become comfortable showing her insecurities of being alone with her mother, mother or not Lyra still felt foreign and unsure. Lyra laid back into the bed properly under the blankets, feeling sleepy her head still feeling foggy and pressure-filled. 

Marisa seeing this faltered in her breathing for a moment, not knowing what to do or say at the moment to help ease Lyra and to help her. Noticing Lyra’s eyes drooping “You sleepy?” she asked worriedly.

“Yes” 

Then Marisa remembered the items she had brought for Lyra, reaching into a bag she had brought filled with items she procured a blanket. Not just any blanket however Lyra’s grey fur blanket from her bedroom that she had loved so much. 

Marisa smiled softly as she felt so proud to have brought the blanket, the blanket she herself had slept with every night secretly while Lyra had been with Asriel. Her high heels clicked on the floor as she returned to Lyra’s bed before she then unfolded the blanket tucking it around Lyra as she had done before. 

“This is your blanket from home, I thought you might appreciate it here in the hospital” she spoke as she smoothed it down, Pan jumped out of the way as Marisa laid it out on top of Lyra before he then jumped on top once she was done. 

Lyra brushed her hands on the top of the blanket as Pan rubbed himself into it on his back sniffing the blanket, to Lyra the blanket did feel familiar and comforting. She smiled softly at her mother “Thank you” Marisa watched Lyra’s reaction hoping to see Lyra remember the blanket, something she had provided the girl. 

“Do you remember darling?” Marisa asked watching Lyra as she grabbed a bit of the blanket in her hand feeling it, Lyra had felt a connection to the item however as soon as her mother spoke it had come and gone. 

“I might, I’m not sure” Lyra felt disappointment over not remembering, she had felt for a second that she had, however, it was gone. 

Marisa smiling sadly, smoothing down her dress sat in the chair next to Lyra’s bedside. She watched as Pan spoke to Lyra about the blanket being ever so soft where she agreed before Lyra tore her gaze to the journal on the bedside table. 

Lyra reached out for it when she did so this was the first time Marisa had noticed it. Ozymandias started to get antsy wanting to look at the journal, Marisa remembering that Lyra had been looking at it when she cried out from pain the other day. 

“Where ever did you get that Lyra?” Marisa asked wanting to know where the girl had gotten it from, noticing the drawings it contained briefly not getting a good look at any of them. 

Lyra without tearing her gaze from the pages pointed over to the rucksack that was in the corner of the room “I found it in the bag” she flipped through the pages not really paying attention to her mother glancing through the journal. Marisa’s eyes widened when she realized one of the sketches was of her, it was awfully good with great detail causing her to wonder who’s journal it was.

Marisa moved closer to Lyra glancing at the pages as well, Ozymandias leaping onto Lyra’s bed sitting next to Pan curling his tail around the white ermine. “These are extraordinary sketches, does it say who it belongs to?” Marisa inquired to know, who had sketched her inside this journal and more importantly who it belonged to having suspicion who it belonged to Asriel and may contain some of his research notes she desperately wanted to know. 

  
  


Lyra feeling very sleepy handed the journal towards Marisa who then flipped through the pages reaching the beginning of the journal, reaching the cover page. 

Marisa reached a hand out to push the pages to see, she noticed the handwriting where it was written ‘Lyra Belacqua’ surprising her that it belonged to Lyra. 

Then as glanced at the page she noticed in the faint light writing on the next page, Marisa then turned the page.

Upon the page was an inscription in sharp handwriting that Marisa Coulter knew anywhere from lost love letters of the past. 

Written was ‘To Lyra, may you forge your path of adventure’ then it was signed Asriel Belacqua however was crossed out only for ‘Father’ to be written below in its place. 

Marisa sucked in a breath glancing at the inscription, her eyes softened as it sunk in what Asriel had written. She then glanced over at the now sleeping Lyra who had fallen asleep, Pan curled near her hands asleep as well. Ozymandias sat on the bed comfortably, leaning against Lyra’s leg using it as a comfortable headrest. 

Marisa Coulter looked to Lyra with a soft expression and loving eyes, as she thought of Asriel and their family with Lyra. All of them together, something she would never see she thought sadly as her eyes began to water before she held back tears. 

He had written father, what had happened in a couple of months that Lyra had been with them to have him from declaring that he had never had Lyra call him father since he never was one. Only for him to become sentimental, inscribing and gifting this journal to Lyra writing the very term he swore he was not. Lyra had melted his heart, just like she had done with her. It had to have been love, something Marisa Coulter had only experienced a few times in her life. 

It was a parental love, both for their child. They would do anything for her, they would protect her, die for her and even kill for her.

Then as she stared at the dark side of the room’s wall, she was brought back to memories of Asriel and that frightful night.

* * *

  
  


_Edward had arrived home drunk admitting to her that he knew. He knew…._

_All about how he had figured it all out, spouting off curses at her as he chased her up the stairs where she locked herself inside the bathroom in fear. He leaned heavily on the walls taunting her, barking mad as he hiccuped from the alcohol on his breath._

_“You should have Belacqua come save you!” she had wished, shutting her eyes as her mascara ran with her harsh tears._

_His banging on the door, each bang making her jump as her emotions overtook her with shame and fear. He went on forever banging and yelling through the door before eventually, it had gone quiet. She had hoped he had passed out._

_Oh had she hoped._

_She had been wrong, he had been in his office drinking some more before reaching into his desk drawer for his pistol proclaiming what he had set out to do. Shouting that he would find him to handle it, the baby and Asriel both._

_Marisa had only remembered a blur afterward as she clung to him to stop him with everything she had, pleading with him, begging him not to._

_Until she physically fought him, attempting to wrestle the pistol out of his hands only to be knocked over in his aggression being left on the floor unconscious._

_The next thing she remembered was coming to hours later only to have the house staff help her up off the floor as she mumbled frantically “he’s going to kill her….he’s going to kill them both” as she struggled to get up to follow after Edward to Asriel’s cottage in Oxfordshire._

_As she entered the cottage, she could tell she had been too late. She failed to stop him, the door had been kicked open. The cottage was in disarray, she walked slowly still numb and recovering from the baby’s birth only days ago._

_Hands frail, shaking as she sobbed at the sight believing the worst had occurred she clung to the hallway walls for support nearing the living room._

_Marisa remembered the cries, the baby crying in the distance. Lyra had been crying hysterically as she was trying to be soothed by the gyptian woman who held her in her arms in the doorway of the closet they had been hiding in._

_Marisa had reached out for her child taking Lyra within her arms, soothing her as she held the baby to her chest rocking her in her shaking arms through her tears as her fear for her child’s life dissipated as she held her kissing her head softly inhaling her scent._

_The Magisterium and state police were cuffing Asriel condemning him to jail for murdering Edward pulling him away as he noticed her shouting for her to protect Lyra._

_“Marisa protect Lyra!” he shouted as he struggled in the state police’s hold being taken away._

_Marisa hadn’t registered what he had meant until state police officials were holding their arms out to take Lyra from her demanding she is handed over into their custody for the trial._

_She had no choice as they snatched her out of Marisa’s arms as Lyra screamed loud shrieking with cries and hiccups as she was torn from her mother._

_Marisa had reached out for Lyra as she cried, her heart clenching as her child was taken from her. State police wouldn’t let her have her. The cries pierced her heart, making her body numb._

_Their child had been taken away to a nunnery in the night._

_As Marisa stood in the living room of the cottage, a baby’s crib in the corner, through her sobs and tears. Numb all over, she glanced down to see Edward’s body covered in a white sheet._

_Deceased_

_She was all alone, forbidden to go near Lyra._

_Her mother whisper’s in her ear of disgracing their family, forbidding swearing off her connection with Asriel and the child they shared. Sins to cast away._

_There was the trial, she condemned her affair with Asriel speaking only when she had to._

_Asriel met her eyes filled with betrayal, heartbroken._

_He was to be released from the court's decision, however, he would lose everything._

_So did she._

_Lyra was to stay in a nunnery, hidden away from them forever. Until Asriel had found her taking her away to Jordan College during the great flood._

_She downplayed the love they shared in an effort to save some of her tattered reputation, listening to her mother as her brother held back standing up to their mother._

_Her mother had told her what to say, being broken and vulnerable she had listened._

_A regret, she will forever hold._

_Stating it would be better to forget._

_She had tried, with alcohol and her work_

_She never did_

_She still hears the cries_

_Lyra’s cries_

* * *

Tears flowed down her face, as she was brought out of the past into the present with a knock upon the door. Lyra happened to be still asleep, Marisa quickly wiped her face of tears trying to school herself and her emotions as she stood up from the bed just as Ozymandias reached out his hand for her; hers missing it by a second. 

Marisa smoothed out her dress as she checked Lyra’s blankets, moving the journal to the bedside table. She stood there watching her breathe for a second or two before sighing, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Lyra’s sleeping forehead. 

As Marisa breathed in, she stood away from the bed to see who was at the door, she glanced at Lyra from near the door with a soft sad smile before opening the door.

As soon as she cracked open the door she was met with Asriel Belcqua’s eyes, they shimmered with worry and emotion. 

Surprise overtook Marisa never expecting to see him of all people, her heart started beating fast as he looked into her eyes. 

He took her arms into his pulling them both gently into the room closing the door behind, he didn’t dare take his eyes off hers. He looked deeply into her eyes with something she hadn’t seen in years bringing her back in time before heartache and devastation. 

  
  


“How are you here Asriel?” Marisa then asked in disbelief, she glanced into his eyes as he was filled with confusion. 

“The Magisterium provided me with an offer I could not refuse....either they would make an example of me, hurt Lyra or I was to pledge loyalty and my mind to the magisterium” he looked intently into her eyes as he held her in his arms, she did not resist his arms. 

“After everything we have been through, I never expected you would help me...however, I am glad you did” he continued as he held her in his arms, as they stood a hair length apart their forehead’s almost touching each other. 

This caught Marisa’s attention, she sucked in a breath pulling away slightly. The magisterium did not do such things lightly or without reason, that of which frightened her especially when he spoke of them harming Lyra. 

“I did it for Lyra..I’m surprised the Cardinal agreed to my proposal, to begin with, don’t think I won’t throw you to the wolves” she spoke softly with reluctance towards him not wanting to admit while she had been desperate to help their child she also wanted him for herself.

Asriel looked intently at her with emotion in his eyes as he studied her face trying to see a hint of a lie, he found uncertainty and fear. She had wanted him, with her. Asriel thought and realized Marisa could not handle this on her own, she needed him by her side in order to help Lyra. 

“You and I, we work together. I knew it then...you know it now. Whatever comes our way, we will overcome it...together” he spoke truthfully as he was enamored with her, she looked to Asriel with desire and a passion as old feelings were brought back into the light. When he had come to take Lyra, she knew as they were all together that she had wanted it more than anything. 

Marisa was brought back to the gyptian man that had broken into her penthouse, what he had said struck a chord within her. 

‘I betray my family for no one’

She had thought of her family, overcome with a shock and grief she had realized she had sacrificed her own family for power and knowledge never putting them first. No swore to herself no longer, she would fight for what was hers. 

They had been robbed all those years ago, Marisa and Asriel. Meeting at the wrong point in time, they were together now. Stelemaria purred as Ozymandias and her embrace touching one another as if no time had passed. 

“Lyra must come first, we have to keep her safe” she swore, she held tears in her eyes once more. He held her gaze as they shared the same feelings, Lyra was important to both of them they both had to admit that now. They had put aside the past and their history for their child. 

“We will”

Asriel then told her of all the conditions of the arrangement leaving nothing out, everything seemed too good to be true to work out as much in Asriel’s favor and falling in with her’s. Marisa stood there stunned, Asriel had pledged loyalty to the church and the magisterium. She hadn’t known what the conditions would be, not even knowing if the cardinal would entertain the idea. She happened to be very persuasive however there were limitations on how far her skill would reach. 

He had gained his lordship back and more importantly they were to be wed; which both gave them feelings they rather not confront. They would be a proper family, only something did not sit right with either of them. Everything was working out in their favor, it was too perfect.

What had caused the cardinal to approve, more or less push for all of this? There had to be a big catch that they did not know of. Marisa may have some power, however not enough to manage all of this. No there were other chess pieces in play, it bugged them both on end not knowing. Especially Marisa who despised a lack of control in each and every situation.

"Well for now, you and I must comply with these conditions to stay on the right side with the magisterium" Asriel advised as they spoke attempting to be civil and think rationally. 

"For Lyra" Marisa then spoke, drawing Asriel's focus to Lyra as if for once remembering her current state. He moved past Marisa towards the hospital bed getting a glimpse of Lyra.

Lyra was still sound asleep on pain medication and from her healing head. Asriel gazed at her with softness as he reached to grab one of the girl's limp hands as Marisa joined him on Lyra's other side. 

"They had told me what had happened, however seeing her….How is she?" He asked concerned as he moved his thumb on Lyra's hand comforting her. 

"She's sleepy most of the time. Asriel….she doesn't remember. She doesn't remember us" Marisa softly spoke speaking with a vulnerability, Asriel glanced in her direction as she spoke. Lyra's situation now fully hitting him, as he shook with disbelief.

He looked down in pain as he gripped Lyra's hand tighter holding back his feelings towards the girl. His daughter, who he desperately tried and failed to put to the back of his mind and heart just like her mother. 

"There has to…." He struggled to sound reassuring, fearing that Lyra would never be the same again. He fought back breathing heavily as his emotions started to overcome him. 

Being surrounded by his love and their child, the situation and the pain of his past failures. 

Marisa just stood there looking at him and at Lyra with sadness in her eyes “I want to believe that however, the doctor believes there is a chance she will never remember” she broke to him gently the information the doctor had given her earlier. 

Asriel looked down as he thought, he caught a glimpse of Lyra’s journal on the bedside table next to her bed. “We will try, did they suggest how to help?” he asked beginning to figure a type of plan already taking charge ambitious to help Lyra. 

Marisa sat down in the chair she had been occupying before, reaching over to Lyra moving closer before pushing her hair away from her face careful of her bandages “They suggested photograms and to tell her stories of her past, you should have plenty of those having been with her all those years at Jordan” she spoke with jealousy, having not been in Lyra’s life until recently years apart.

Asriel froze catching Marisa’s attention as he said nothing for a second or two, she glanced quickly to him. She saw the look upon his face, it held pain and a fondness. He opened his mouth to speak only not to before he clenched his jaw. 

“There are only a few, each year I had the college take a photogram of Lyra and send it in the post” he spoke shamefully that was all he had of their child, he hadn’t been around much not wanting to become attached to the girl. 

Just then there was another knock on the door, which then opened revealing the doctor he smiled softly seeing Lyra was asleep. He came into the room to check on Lyra and check her vitals, he then noticed Asriel who had then almost let go of Lyra’s hand to turn towards the doctor. 

“You must be the father, I am the doctor looking over Lyra nice to meet you” he went to shake Asriel’s hand who met him with a firm handshake with his free hand. Asriel had realized this was the first time he had openly admitted that he was Lyra’s father by shaking the man’s hand. 

Marisa watched the exchange with surprising interest, as the doctor moved to check Lyra’s medication lowering the dosage a bit, he then spoke towards Marisa. “Has she asked for any food or water?” 

“No, she fell asleep a couple of minutes after you had gone” she told him, he checked Lyra’s clipboard near her bed.

“I’ll have the nurses bring in some food, see if we can get her to eat. I want her back to a healthy weight. It will help her recover, we will see how she is doing tomorrow and hopefully, she will be fit to go home” he furled up a page to see information on the next page, he smiled softly at the parents. 

Marisa bore some relief on her face that Lyra would be able to go home soon, however it did not last as was brought back to the thought of her and Asriel having to face the magisterium. Asriel raised his eyebrows at the remark about Lyra being underweight looking to Marisa who met his eyes in question. “She always ate very little when she was with me, I always told her to eat most on her plate” she defended as the doctor then left the room closing the door behind him. 

Asriel then turned his attention to the journal on the bedside table his eyes filled with realization, he knew it was Lyra’s. He picked it up catching the attention of Marisa who watched him, she held a softness in her eyes knowing that he gave it Lyra. “This is Lyra’s, when I took her she was constantly drawing in the thing everywhere we went. This could help her remember, she wrote a diary inside it” he gripped it with determination as he smiled in a small victory, they had something to help Lyra. He smiled to himself that Lyra had written down her memories, of course, she had done it to help herself navigate the life she now lived trying to cope with the changes. However, it would now help her remember who she was. 

Marisa smiled at the realization that he was right, Lyra had already been looking at it the other day as if she knew she could use it to remember. The door then opened once more, it was the nurse who had wheeled in a cart with food trays upon it. She bowed her head respectfully before placing a tray on the bed table along with a pitcher of water along with some cups. 

The nurse once she had placed the tray, reached for a vase of flowers and a colorful children’s gift bag. “These were delivered to the receptionist desk for Lyra Belacqua” she informed them as she placed the beautiful bouquet on the bedside table along with the gift bag. The nurse smiled as she left, leaving the room before banging the door accidentally with the cart as she left.

Lyra then breathed in as her eyes fluttered, they slowly opened as she woke up from her sleep. Lyra moved on the bed as Pan rolled dramatically over Lyra’s soft blanket awaking as well, he stuck his tongue out he yawned in a cute manner. Asriel’s eyes softened at the sight Stelemaria curled up at his feet wiping her tail as she stood up to glance at the edge of the bed. 

Lyra blinked her eyes as the room came into focus, she then glanced at Marisa who was in her line of view as she was brushing Lyra’s hair with her hand

“Lyra, how are you darling?” Lyra furrowed her eyebrows staring at Marisa as she remembered she was in the hospital and that this woman was her mother. “Sleepy” she spoke softly, as she tried to swallow the dry feeling in her throat. Asriel saw her do so, so he reached for the water pitcher and poured a cup. 

“Do you want some water Lyra?” she asked as Marisa watched him do so before he handed the cup to her, Lyra had nodded. Marisa brought the cup to Lyra’s lip who took quick sips of the water being thirsty. 

“Small sips Lyra” Marisa warned as Lyra took big gulps, she didn’t want her to choke. Asriel held back a chuckle at the sight of Marisa being so attentive and acting like a mother. Lyra drank the water then caught a glimpse of Asriel from the corner of her eye.

Lyra felt his hand holding her’s it felt familiar, Marisa took the cup away noticing Lyra had finished and that she was now looking at Asriel. Asriel stared at her with soft eyes just as he had done when she had wanted to help him spy on the master, Lyra met his gaze as she stared back at him with an innocent face. 

Asriel did not know what to expect, Marisa watched the entire interaction in suspense knowing full well how it felt when your child looked right through you with no recognition. 

Asriel opened his mouth to talk only to have the words caught in his throat, he closed it as he thought of what he could possibly say. 

Lyra had beaten him to it “Who are you?” she asked as she felt the man’s hand loosen her’s from his grip. Asriel looked to Marisa who held watery eyes being reminded of the matter of fact, Lyra had amnesia. Pan stood alert as he sniffed Asriel through the air, leaning on the edge of the bed close to him only to quickly make a noise of surprise at seeing Stelemaria go to sniff Pan. 

Lyra tilted her head slightly as she looked at Asriel studying his face, hair, and eyes. “You look familiar” Asriel’s eyes widened with hope as Marisa’s eyes widened as well in surprise, Lyra had both of her parents on each side of her. 

Asriel looked at Lyra flicking his eyes to Marisa before glancing back to Lyra “Well I…” he fumbled with the words, Marisa looked to him as she brushed Lyra’s hair from her forehead. Lyra continued to stare into his eyes, Asriel had felt his throat close up briefly at the sight of her staring into his soul. 

Asriel swallowed the frog in his throat “I’m your father Lyra” Lyra then smiled softly, she said nothing as she glanced at both of her parents next to her sides. Asriel looked at Lyra with such love in his eyes, soft in his gaze as he returned the smile to match. He was happy to see Lyra smiling again, he had longed to see after a while of absence. 

“You’re my father…” Lyra spoke softly as she inspected Asriel’s face trying to commit it to memory, she hadn’t wanted to forget it once more. Lyra then turned to Marisa’s eye’s, she had her fingers in Lyra’s hair. “And you’re my mother...when can we go home?” Lyra innocently asked preferring not to be in the hospital, she wished so deeply to remember. 

She felt helpless and scared of the unknown, she held such guilt at not being able to remember anything. All Lyra knew was that she was a child and she wished to be somewhere safe, the only thing that soothed her was the glances of her parents. 

As she asked the question Marisa and Asriel glanced at each other as they had just now realized, they were to be married They would be together for the first time ever, they would be a family. 

Asriel sighed before deciding to speak “The doctor believes you may be able to leave tomorrow, until then you should eat the food the nurse has brought” He then made moves to set up Lyra’s food tray, making sure she had everything. He pushed the bed table closer to her helping her sit up a bit, Marisa then took a napkin placing it on her lap. 

Asriel seeing the dish that was brought noticed it was chicken with a bit of vegetable, Lyra made moves to begin eating abet very slowly as they sat in uncomfortable silence. Asriel caught Marisa’s eye, as he flicked his eyes to her as his mind wandered to the topic of them. Asriel trying to put it off as long as he could trying not to dredge up heartbroken emotions of the past looked around for a distraction. 

Asriel had noticed Lyra had his rucksack in the room, he then went over to it to inspect it and make sure all of his and Lyra’s belongings were still inside which they were. Asriel and Stelemaria glanced over to see if Marisa was looking only to see her attending to Lyra talking and encouraging her to eat her food. 

Asriel then rummaged around looking for his field notes listing descriptions of his experiment to find they had not been opened or touched since he had last placed them in the rucksack. 

He quickly placed it back inside before Stelamria noticed Marisa reaching towards the flowers and gift bag on the bedside table that the nurse had brought in along with Lyra’s food earlier. He then made his way back to the side of Lyra he had been before.

This time he had retrieved a chair from the hallway after charming one of the nurses for one causing Marisa to roll her eyes and scoff at him in response. He smirked as he carried the chair into the room victorious.

As Lyra attempted to eat, she had begun to have trouble cutting the chicken she had begun to get frustrated making an expression highly like her mother. Marisa and Asriel saw this occur causing Asriel to snicker at the sight, Marisa did have the faintest of what he was on about.

Marisa reached out to Lyra’s hands to help, taking the utensils from her and proceeding to cut the chicken up into little bits. “Here let me help darling” as she was cutting she glanced at Asriel with a scowl “are you quite finished having a laugh?’ she asked with an attitude raising her eyebrows in question towards him. 

Asriel sat back in his chair crossing one of his legs over the other as he looked at Marisa and Lyra with a small smile as he watched her tend to their daughter. Their daughter, something he had to become accustomed to. “Lyra makes an expression mirroring you completely, she just did it there” he explained with a soft smile on his face. 

Marisa had no words in response, not expecting him to say such a thing, she smiled softly with a fond look towards Lyra who had begun to eat the cut up pieces of chicken. Lyra was her daughter, after all, his comment made Marisa light inside. 

Every since Lyra had been born, everyone had made comments mainly about how she resembled her father. It crushed a bit inside that Lyra hadn’t taken after her much, to hear from Asriel himself was an accomplishment of sorts to her. 

Ever since Lyra had been brought into her care she had wanted to identify with her daughter, dressing her similarly to her. She attempted to see if Lyra had similarities to her, she promised to mold her. Perhaps she didn't need to, all she really needed to do was look in the right places. 

As Lyra ate her food slowly, Marisa had then turned her attention to the flowers placed on the bedside table. It was a beautiful arrangement of Alstroemeria, and the expense hadn’t been spared. Curiosity had gotten the best of her through the silence, she threaded her fingers through the flowers spotting a card inserted. 

Asriel had been watching Lyra eat making sure she did so after thinking about the doctor’s comment on her weight. Noticing Lyra hadn’t taken a bite of her veg so far “Lyra, make sure to eat your vegetables as well” Lyra lightly groaned which ended quickly as Marisa caught their daughter's eyes, Lyra then took a bite of her vegetables to appease them. 

Marisa reached then reached for the card with delicate hands as she inspected it. 

The card appeared white card with an intricate design of royal blue, Asriel watched her movements. “The flowers are lovely, did one of your associates send them?” he inquired with a bit of jealousy thinking to himself they must be from someone who was closely knitted to her, sent in sympathy for Lyra; perhaps a lover. The previous lover, he thought with some satisfaction. 

Marisa who had not lifted her gaze from the white and royal blue card had struck her as familiar in a sense she could not place for a reason. “Yes lovely, I wonder who had sent them?” she spoke softly in thought as she opened the small card, she quickly read it reaching to who had penned it at the bottom.

Marisa’s face as she read the card had paled considerably as her hand had become unsteady, Asriel had almost leaped up noticing the grim and shocking expression upon her face. He quickly stood up as Stelamaria had bound over to Marisa matching Asriel.

Asriel gripped her arms in alarm and to comfort her, knowing not much to set the woman into a state. “What’s the matter?” he asked gazing at her with a softness he thought he wouldn’t find himself doing. Lyra had stopped eating noticing the conflict within her mother; she only looked on worried as her father comforted her mother. 

“Who sent them?” he asked as she then looked up to meet his gaze, she held such anguish in her eyes as she let him see who had signed the card as Asriel eyes widened before glancing at hers once more finding them with unshed tears filled with emotion. Asriel’s jaw clenched as red hot frustration and anger flooded him. 

* * *

  
  


In the Magisterium in Geneva, the Cardinal sat inside his quarters upon a grand ornate chair, as he waited for Father Macphail to arrive to discuss matters. 

On the grand marble flooring of the quarters, Father Macphail appeared from the entryway flowing as a shadow figure with stiffness for order in his stance. 

Nearing the cardinal, Father Macphail bent down in respect at the cardinal’s feet where he caught a glimpse of the cardinal’s hand upon it was a silver ring engraved with the symbol of the magisterium.

Father Macphail then spoke with respect in a clear voice “Cardinal...I have requested this meeting to discuss my concerns of this arrangement you have crafted concerning Asriel Belacqua” he spoke softly in an effort not to overstep. 

The cardinal bowed his head at an angle in which he looked directly into Father Macphail’s eyes to show he was serious and to challenge him upon question his judgments. “There is no need to fear Asriel, there are many ways in which he is subdued. There are greater factors at hand of which you know not. In the meanwhile, to keep Asriel and the might of the magisterium in order. I have sent for someone from La Maison Juste to stay within reach of Asriel preserving his newfound loyalty with the Magisterium”

Father Macphail raised his eyebrows with his hands properly behind his back as he stood listening. “Who may I ask?” he inquired as another pair of steps were heard on the marble flooring approach. 

Father Macphail and the Cardinal then turned their attention to the approaching figure, he walked with an aloof attitude and a sternness. The man had slightly grey hair appearing to be in his 40’s, his daemon flying around him swooping into the cardinal’s quarters before landing on the man’s shoulder gracefully. 

The cardinal who had breathed in staring at the man who had just entered “Father Macphail, I would like to introduce you to Marcel Delamare” 

Marcel who had just bent down with respect to the Cardinal glanced upwards towards Father Macphail with a wicked smile upon his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more to follow, including favorite characters. Let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my instagram: misssilvertongue.


	13. Family

The number one topic Lyra would bring up would be when she could go home. She wanted desperately to remember, she hated feeling so helpless. Pan had been restless as she was, hoping that they could leave. 

Her mother and father rarely spoke unless in hushed soothing tones to her if she asked them anything, she sensed an unease between them. The only thing that Lyra noticed where they showed affection had been her mother had read the card from the flowers the other day, it must have spooked her. Ever since she had been glancing nervously towards the door, keeping close to Lyra while she would make glances at Asriel. 

The doctor had come in checking up on her from time to time, Lyra had become frustrated as she pouted in her bed laying back as Pan chased his tail on the bed as Ozymandias watched from sitting on the arm of the chair her mother sat upon. Marisa had been going over some correspondence and forms that were important glancing up time from time to check on Lyra. 

  
  


Seeing Lyra’s expression Asriel smirked as he knew the girl was stir crazy especially from the sight of Pan. He then picked up the journal from the bedside table as he then sat on the edge of Lyra’s bed. 

“Lyra, do you remember your journal?” he caught her interest as she turned her head towards him, he then proceeded to open it as he settled on the edge of the bed-sharing the view with her. Lyra then proceeded to curl close to him catching Asriel off guard, having not been so close to his daughter much.

He said nothing, Marisa caught his expression with an amused smile. Lyra did not know, all she knew was this man was her father. She remembered not of their relationship before she lost her memory and how she wouldn’t have been so bold to seek comfort from Asriel. As the two were on the bed, Lyra sat curled next to him, just like other fathers would with children when they would tell them bedtime stories. 

Asriel’s expression and demeanor melted, Lyra glanced at the journal “I don’t remember” she explained to him as she reached over Asriel’s hands that were gripping the journal open on both sides attempting to turn a page. 

The page that Lyra landed on happened to be one of the sketches of Jordan College, this sparked feelings in Lyra as she stared at a sketch of the Master, Dr. Carne. As she glanced at the sketch she remembered the man, she was brought back to Jordan College where she had been raised. 

As Lyra brushed the page, Asriel watched her stare at the journal as she said nothing “Lyra?” he inquired, Lyra then looked away towards Asriel “Did we live at Jordan College?” she asked him, to which his eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. 

At the words Marisa snapped her head up towards Lyra and Asriel, she held her mouth open slightly before closing it in surprise. Asriel breathed in before he thought of what to say “Yes, however, I was there less frequently taken away by my work” he explained, as Lyra looked down in thought as she tried to remember her life at Jordan. 

Lyra’s eyes then watered as she developed tears as memories swirled in her mind, running on the roofs of Jordan. With a boy, what was his name? 

Lyra turned the page captured by the journal, landing on a sketch of a familiar boy. 

“R-Roger” Lyra stuttered while she whispered, Marisa snapped her head upwards upon hearing the name. A sketch of Roger Parslow was drawn upon the page, there was an entry written in Lyra’s handwriting.

Marisa had abandoned her paperwork and forms pushing them to the side as she sat at full attention towards Lyra. She had mentioned the boy's name, her friend that had gone missing that she wouldn’t cease going on about. Marisa held a small amount of guilt of having him taken away, she feared Lyra would remember him causing the issue of finding him to be brought up one more. 

Marisa chose to speak up as she sat on Lyra’s bed on the other side of Lyra “Perhaps when you are allowed home, we can go over the journal together” she smiled at Lyra’s with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes however her warmth was still present. Asriel noticed with slightly narrowed eyes that Marisa was trying to hinder Lyra from remembering her friend, he then had suspicions as his train of thought took its course. 

“I believe it best for you to rest, you have gone through quite the ordeal darling I don’t wish for you to have a setback while you are still healing” she spoke of care eyeing Lyra’s head injury with sympathy and pain seeing Lyra had gotten hurt. Lyra looked to her mother along with her father, the girl nodded her head settling into the pillow a bit listening to her. Marisa had been expecting Lyra to give her some resistance to her request for her to rest, only she complied showing how much Lyra had changed from losing her memories. 

Asriel, having been surprised as well at how easy Lyra had listened to Marisa, Asriel shifted so he sat on the other edge of the bed. Lyra had each of her parents on each side of her, something she felt was not normal considering how uncomfortable they both looked. Lyra had noticed the couple were distant or either very close for brief moments, it confused her however she tried not to notice much more focused on trying to remember. 

They spent the next moments softly talking to each other about random ramblings, Lyra asked them what they did for careers and how they were like. The pair of them moved closer to Lyra where they were cuddled up on the bed with Lyra in between them, Marisa was holding one Lyra’s hands while Asriel had wrapped one arm around them both.

Ozymandias was sitting on the floor at the end of the bed with Stelemaria slowly coming close to one another over time. They avoided going into detail about family topics such as past moments that never existed, and where they did exist they hadn’t been together. 

As Asriel went into a story of his exploration of the north hoping to excite Lyra as it would normally have in the past, his tale of fighting off tartars after being surrounded and fending them off singlehanded. Marisa had jumped in stating that she had fought off tartars on occasion, Lyra’s eyes widened in wonder at the knowledge of her parents' adventures. They went off on retelling of the adventures they briefly had together in the north together and of their time at the arctic institute, Asriel’s blue eyes caught Marisa’s with a soft smile as he spoke of the very first time he saw her across a ballroom catching her eyes before asking near begging her for a dance. 

  
  


Pan had rested on Lyra’s shoulder leaning half of his body on Marisa’s shoulder causing her to become misty-eyed at the feeling of Lyra being comfortable in their arms. Shortly in the middle of the tale, Lyra had slowly fallen asleep once more, having her head on Asriel's shoulder, mid-sentence Asriel had noticed from a look of Marisa’s soft eyes at their daughter Lyra had fallen asleep. 

Lyra breathing softly her face innocent, peaceful and content; Asriel hadn’t seen Lyra like this since she had been a baby and even then she didn’t even seem to be so content. Glancing at his daughter at this moment as she laid her head on his shoulder. Asriel knew in his heart that he had made the right decision, in his head, it was to be foreseen. 

For their lives, like they always had been. They are going to get more complicated, all they could hope was to keep Lyra safe. All they could do at the moment was to take every day as it comes.

“We have to tell her” Marisa spoke softly to Asriel as she clutched Lyra’s hand gazing at their daughter asleep on Asriel before looking at Asriel who did not dare lift his eyes from Lyra.

“I know” 

* * *

Shortly the very next day, the doctor had mentioned the process in which Lyra could go home which sparked Asriel to make arrangements. He quickly made strides to contact the appropriate people to re-obtain his family's estate that had been given back to him by the magisterium per their arrangement. He was taking his daughter to the home that should have been her’s from the start before everything was ripped from him, he pursued it with a vengeance needing to be useful in helping Lyra or in anything to distract from Lyra’s condition. 

At first, Asriel along with Marisa thought Lyra would be back to herself in no time, only to see being up close the damage that had been done. This would take some time before Lyra would be anything close to herself once more, she kept slurring her words, had trouble focusing at times and would become very exhausted and sleepy. They had been reassured that all these symptoms would pass however it did not keep at bay the fear for Lyra one bit. 

Asriel made preparations for everything along with Marisa, asking her which would be best to keep the magisterium appeased providing everything that was asked; he left out an important aspect of his research and kept his field notes journal secret hidden from all eyes, even Marisa. 

The pair had listened to the terms set out and were privately wed with a magisterial witness within the week. Marisa Coulter was no longer on records and in words, Marisa was Marisa Belacqua also known as Lady Belacqua providing Marisa with an elevated status than before from her first marriage. On the very day, Marisa had with shaking hands removed the curse wedding band from her first marriage, it had been a stain on her soul for years only now cleansed. The two were wed in matrimony, holding each other close however still holding back on their emotions for one another having lost trust between them all those years ago. 

* * *

_Unbeknownst to them Madame Delemare received news of her daughter and the events have taken place from her son Marcel, she had briefly fainted onto the antique carpet in her home before coming to her senses only to write a folded note from her stationary along with some of Marisa's favorite flowers to her grandaughter's hospital room along with a gift._

* * *

They had servants brought in to clean and dust off the property and clean up any damage that had occurred over the years of it being abandoned the magisterium had used it as a property for housing rarely using it only for it to collect dust leaving it in touch all these years. 

Having all their belongings brought over and moved into the manor, Marisa had carefully packed up her belongings and her grand penthouse apartment in London where she had lived for many years. It was where she had brought Lyra to first live with her, she was brought back to the time in which she had prepared Lyra’s bedroom picking everything out in preparation and nervousness hoping the girl had liked it.

Everything she had moved to the manor mirroring the room she had set up in London to Lyra’s bedroom in the manor. As she had done so Asriel had some ideas in which he shared after knowing Lyra a bit more closely causing Marisa to falter with some grief before she brushed it off. The very last items to be packed had been Lyra’s clothes in which Marisa had spent a considerable amount of time folding very carefully into the suitcases, remembering their shopping trip in purchasing the clothes. 

Marisa remembers Lyra’s first expression to it all, having never gone shopping or having brand new clothes to herself in which she had picked out. Folding the last dress into Lyra’s suitcase, Marisa sighed looking around the empty penthouse and bedroom, she ran her hand along with the fabric of one of Lyra’s dresses in thought. Closing her eyes before opening them and making eye contact with Ozymandias before scowling and looking away as he whined in sadness. She may have not been there for her daughter, however, she would try her best to be now. Marisa wiped a stray tear from her eye as she painfully pondered if Lyra would ever be herself again. The girl that had taken her breath away, who made her feel a warmth inside she tried venomously to deny and stop; her heart refused not to love her child. 

* * *

Lyra had been released from the hospital at the end of the week, where she had been brought her outfit to wear. A light blue dress, with a black stripe across; the same dress she had worn the day she found out Asriel was her father from Marisa herself. Lyra wore her mary janes with white socks and Marisa while shopping with Asriel after she dragged him to the store a periwinkle felt coat suitable for a little girl. 

Marisa and Asriel held smiles as Lyra was led out of the hospital where they had an automobile waiting to drive them to Belacqua manor, Lyra wore a smile as well as she nervously and cautiously however happily left with them knowing she would be going home. Marisa had held Lyra’s hand the entire time as they walked with Asriel walking alongside Lyra as well. 

Once outside the hospital, Lyra glanced all around, not having been outdoors for what felt like a long time. Lyra’s gaze was lost on the moving cloud on the bright sunny day outside, birds were singing and people were all out and about going about their business. “Come on Lyra” Marisa spoke, gathering Lyra’s attention as she pulled the girl lightly towards the automobile and the chauffeur that had been waiting for them. 

Marisa had not let go of Lyra’s hand once, only until they were in the automobile where Lyra was still close to her. Asriel had noticed the reluctance and fearfulness Marisa tried to not show however was obvious to anyone watching, she was reluctant to leave and or have Lyra out of her sight for a second. As the chauffeur drove them to the manor Lyra stared out the window as she could from the middle of the seat in between her parents. Lyra was nervous and she held Pan on her lap as he eventually scurried in ermine form to the side of the inside of the car before going on the edge of the window next to Asriel eliciting a surprise and suppressed smile from the man. 

Lyra perked up as they drove, seeing tall buildings and fields of land as they rode along, she grew excited as they got closer. As the automobile went under a bridge the car went dark before it passed through, as Lyra glanced at the tops of the buildings she could have sworn she saw blurred children that looked familiar to her. One girl’s light chestnut hair waving in the wind her gaze not wavering as she caught a side glimpse of the girl’s face before-

“Lyra” Marisa called out to her, sharply after not receiving a first or second response from Lyra from calling her name. Lyra then snapped her head towards her mother “Hmm?” Lyra inquired as she noticed briefly the worried look in her mother’s eyes, Marisa’s eyes softened before she looked away to glance at Asriel as if they were silently talking to one another with their eyes. 

Asriel sighed as he made eyes with Marisa, he adjusted himself in his seat as Stelemaria shifted on the automobile floor placing her head resting it upon Lyra’s foot. After a while of silence and Marisa giving Lyra reassuring eyes, Asriel decided to talk about the history of the buildings in the area of the estate as they drew closer. 

“How much further?” Asriel and Marisa chuckled at Lyra’s excitement, Marisa smiled at Lyra as she reassured her “Nearly there” as they pulled down a side road leading to the manor in the distance.

The road had cobblestones along the whole length of it leading to a grand manor in the distance, Lyra’s eyes and mouth widened in surprise as she took in the grand sight of Belacqua manor in the distance. 

  
  


The automobile pulled up the center where an elegant water fountain was centered in a circle of the drive. The chauffeur pulled to a stop in front of the walkway and entrance, before turning the engine off and exiting the automobile before opening the door Asriel’s side letting him out before opening Marisa’s side and extending a hand to her to assist her out of the automobile. 

“Ma’am” he greeted as Marisa took the gentleman's hand with a smile as she exited, the chauffeur tips his cap to her before standing to the side. 

“Lyra” she called out as she then gestured for Lyra to join them, Lyra exited the automobile next as her eyes widened along with her mouth as she took in the sight of the manor in its entirety. The estate was grand, stretching long and wide along with beautiful gardens and extensive land.

“This is all ours?” Lyra asked shocked and in awe causing Marisa to falter and Asriel to look at her in concern. Marisa took a breath looking at Lyra looking at her with innocent eyes as she was brought back to when Lyra first saw her penthouse in London. Asriel, seeing Marisa looking at Lyra like she was mourning tears brought to her eyes jumped in to answer their daughter. 

Asriel smiled before placing his hand around Lyra’s back pushing her towards the manor front entrance and placing his other arm around Marisa as he embraced his family. “Yes Lyra….welcome home” Asriel smiled as he held back emotion at being able to bring his daughter to her rightful home, the home in which he grew up in along with his parents and their parents before him. 

As they entered walking up the grand staircase, the smile reappeared upon Lyra and Asriel’s face as they entered the foyer of grand polished marble and a circular ceiling with a gigantic crystal chandelier lit up and sparkling under the light. Lyra traced the patterns on the circular ceiling mesmerized “wow” she whispered as Pan sat upon her shoulder, Asriel came close to Lyra. “Breathtaking isn’t it?” Lyra glanced at his smiling face, she returned his smile as she nodded. 

“I used to spend hours daydreaming at it when I was your age” he shared a memory of his youth, making Lyra feel comfortable. Marisa then placed her hand on Lyra’s shoulder bringing her close to her guiding her to walk down the elegant corridor Asriel following along. “Now, Lyra let’s show you around”

Lyra smiled as her parents showed her around the estate, each room having a meaning and a history behind it; Lyra noticed looking around it appeared as if they had just moved into the estate. “Are there any memories you can tell me about any of these rooms?” Lyra asked as she and Pan were only stepping on certain patterns in the marble to entertain themselves, Pan jumping with each pattern. Lyra’s words caused the smile and excitement from Asriel's face to end abruptly, Marisa tightened her grip on Asriel’s hand as they stopped walking. Marisa looked to Asriel who appeared as crestfallen as she was, Marisa attempted a smile once Lyra noticed their expressions had changed. 

They glanced at each other knowing eventually they had to tell Lyra the truth for they simply could not lie. It would have been all so simple to cover up the truth however, eventually, events and facts wouldn’t add up and Lyra would figure it out. Especially of the changes happening going forward in their lives from all of this. However, for the time being, they were hoping to dodge Lyra’s questions seeing how long they could last before hard truths came out of the shadows. 

“We only just moved in, while the estate had been in the family for generations it had been lost. However, after some perseverance, we got it back” Marisa looked to Lyra as she moved with Pan playfully stepping on the marble corridor flooring. While Asriel’s face held a scowl as he thought of the meaning behind her words, he knew she was talking about Lyra however it still brought his thoughts on what else he had lost. Asriel thought bitterly of him being stripped of everything he had as Marisa had condemned their affair, their child and him, he knew it was the magisterium to blame for stripping him however she hadn’t helped in the matter leaving a painful memory. 

“After many years, it was wrongfully taken from us” Asriel bit back at her with hidden meaning which went over Lyra’s head as she took in the information. Marisa had picked up on Asriel’s thoughts as she knew he was talking about what he had lost besides Lyra and her choices in his trial. The two held scathing calculating eyes for each other with a hint of lust underneath. Lyra made a glance at Pan who stood in front of her on the floor, as he eyed the couple with uncertainty. 

Marisa looked away as Ozymandias emitted a low growl towards Stelmaria who prowled close to him before low growling herself before the moment was over. The growling ceased as Stelamaria noticed out of the corner of her eye Pan who had curled against Lyra’s mary janes half-asleep falling on himself before he arose once more at the growling stopping. 

“Lyra are you sleepy?” Asriel’s eyes became concerned, catching his eyes at Lyra who Marisa had turned to Lyra quickly at his words. Marisa then reached out to Lyra, she cupped her chin rubbing her thumb softly on her cheek. Lyra, who was still recovering, got sleepy at times. The doctor had told them she would need to take naps within the day if she were to tire, be cautious not to become too exhausted which would lead to undesirable consequences. 

Lyra stubbornly tried to hide her sleepiness, they had been walking around the estate giving Lyra a full tour. After coming out of the hospital from the car ride which had been an hour to afterward venturing and traversing the massive estate Lyra had started to feel herself getting sleepy. It took a lot out of her, Pan was proof while she tried to hide it not wanting to sleep frustrated at taking naps while all she wanted to do was remember. “No” Lyra tried to deny with a straight face, she was tired of being sleepy however she also wished to sleep however she wished to see the estate more. 

“Lyra” Asriel chastened knowing the girl was sleepy, Lyra sighed before she agreed in defeat, feeling her tiredness along with her feeling pressure in her head building. 

“Perhaps it is time to show you your bedroom, hmm?” 

Marisa then hugged Lyra to her side placing her arm around her as they all turned in the opposite direction, Lyra attempted to keep herself awake feeling herself grow weaker.

  
  


They reached the grand staircase dark brown accented wood fitted with antique carpeting. The stairs contained two on each side leading to the upstairs, they ventured upstairs to the left-wing of the estate whose corridors were dark brown wood along with elegant walls to match the carpeting. 

Lyra tried to glance around and notice the unique details of the estate as they walked slowly through the upstairs corridor, as her mother held her to her side leading the way while her father walked on Lyra’s other side. They eventually reached the middle of the left-wing, Marisa then gestured to a door. “Now Lyra, this is our bedroom. While your bedroom is across from our here” Asriel reached the adjacent door to their bedroom opening the grand wooden door leading to Lyra’s bedroom which had painted periwinkle and white similar to how Lyra’s bedroom had been in London however with some minor adjustments and additions from her bedroom at Jordan. 

As they entered the room, smiles upon all their faces, Lyra in awe slipped away from her mother’s side and arms as she took in her bedroom. It contained a high ceiling and walls painted mainly white with periwinkle accents along with off white carpeting in half the room and traditionally wooden flooring. A white matching wardrobe, dresser along with a closet behind a dark oak door in the corner of the bedroom. On one wall in front of large lattice windows with white lace curtains on each end, the windows opened onto the roofs causing a mischievous glint to reach Lyra’s eyes caught by Asriel who smirked. Hope flooded Asriel at the sight, Lyra was still in there somewhere; not all was lost. Marisa who was more focused on Lyra's needs and fearing the girl will pass out like she had done while in hospital. They had found out that if Lyra does not sleep when she is exhausted she will faint unexpectedly which causes Marisa and Asriel to fear and worry over her; it was hard to say who was worried deep down more. 

Marisa reaching Lyra’s bed began to undo the only the top cover removing Lyra’s grey fur blanket first knowing Lyra would wish to sleep with it on top. Marisa fluffed the pillows shifting them around as she eyed Asriel pointed out the little details in the room they had designed and picked for Lyra. Pan climbed onto the painted white metal bed frame at the edge of the bed, there were metal flowers within the design. 

Lyra excitedly through sleepy head tried to take in every detail of the room listening to her father pointing out all the details, mostly all the books and maps on Lyra's desk and miniature bookcase next to it along the wall. “Wow” Lyra whispered in awe, as she forgot all about sleeping for a moment, reluctant to sleep, after sleeping so much in the hospital to get better Lyra was growing frustrated and tired of sleeping wanting to remember and be better as fast as possible. 

“Lyra it is time to rest” Marisa called out as she finished preparing the bed for Lyra to take a nap, Lyra nearly groaned as she looked at Asriel with pleading eyes hoping to bypass the nap. Asriel had to shift his eyes away from Lyra’s after catching her eyes knowing what the girl was attempting, he caught Marisa’s eyes and face which held a cross expression.

Lyra smiled trying to convince them she did not need a rest only to perhaps sit down for a while or explore only her bedroom. “Do I have to?” Lyra challenged as she whined and Marisa raised an eyebrow at Asriel telling him to stand his ground, Asriel turned away to close the white curtains for Lyra. “No, now came have a rest” Lyra groaned softly as she sighed before she slumped over towards her mother and the bed. 

Marisa placed her hands softly on Lyra’s shoulders as she guided her towards the bed, Ozymandias was on top of the bed watching Pan as he guided Pan towards Lyra and the pillows. Stelmaria purred as she reached the edge of the bed following Asriel who stood a bit away waiting for Lyra to take her nap making sure she did before he left the room; he kept busy trying not to seem to be watching Lyra and Marisa as he opened one of the books upon Lyra’s desk to a page with a map. 

Lyra sat on the edge of the bed as she attempted to remove her mary janes leaving her socks on, Marisa after Lyra took a minute longer than normal took over removing Lyra’s shoes with care. Lyra then laid down onto the pillows reaching out to grasp one of the tiny purple decorative pillows into her hands, hugging it close. 

Marisa raised Lyra’s grey fur blanket to be on top of Lyra which muffled Lyra’s words, as the girl spread her arms feeling the bed. 

“It feels like I’m drowning” Marisa quickly tucked Lyra in however stopped once she heard Lyra’s words. 

Marisa’s breath was stolen at the sound of those words, Lyra covered her face twirling the purple pillow in her hands. Marisa slowly moved Lyra’s hands to put the pillow down on the girl’s chest away from her face “Lyra, what did you just say?” she asked breathlessly as she tried to hold in her emotions, Lyra without batting an eye repeated herself “It feels like I’m drowning” Marisa’s eyes got moist at the words, Asriel hearing Marisa’s reaction came close to the edge of the bed gripping the white metal bed frame as he listened. 

A tear made its way down Marisa’s cheek that she quickly wiped away so Lyra or Asriel wouldn’t notice, Lyra noticed and she frowned. “What’s the matter?” Lyra asked worried for her mother, she hadn’t meant to make her sad. Ozymandias sat near the edge of the bed near Stelemaria as he turned away from Lyra. Marisa who was at on the edge of the bed, she then brushed Lyra’s hair back from Lyra’s bandages “Nothing darling you just reminded me of something you had said in the past, you rest now” Marisa cupped Lyra’s face, Lyra looked down in thought as she frowned sadly now herself. 

“I want to remember, I’m sorry…” Marisa shushed her as she shook her head as if to tell her it was alright, she turned her eyes away fearful that she would sob. Asriel then stepped behind Marisa coming up behind her as he then reached for Marisa’s hand taking it into hers’ before placing it on her shoulder causing Marisa to calm slightly at his touch, he ran his thumb on her hand to comfort her after seeing her painful expression. 

Asriel then looked fiercely at Lyra with warmth in his eyes “Lyra...listen to me...It is not your fault you can’t remember” he stood firm trying to convince her however she was Marisa and Asriel’s daughter she had their stubbornness combined. 

Lyra then jumped in to interject her feelings and frustrations bursting out “I just wish I did, then everything would make sense…”

“Lyra look at me..” Marisa called to her daughter demanding her attention, with tears in her eyes Lyra looked into her mother's eyes which held such emotion. “It is not your fault….” she murmured as she spoke, “Do you understand?” Lyra still looking into her mother’s eyes nodded as Pan snuggled up upon her chest yawning before circling and curling up to Lyra. 

“Good...now get some rest” Marisa made sure Lyra all tucked in and comfortable before she stood up from Lyra’s bed and smoothed out her dress before leaning down and pressing a light kiss on Lyra’s forehead as Lyra closed her eyes softly trying to get comfortable. 

Asriel then held Marisa’s hand as he led her out of the room, he had to pull her slightly as she did not wish to have Lyra out of her sights for a moment. “Come on, she’ll be alright. She’s home, we’re home...we will only be down the corridor if anything” he whispered trying to reassure her as Marisa held her gaze on the now sleeping Lyra and Pan. Lyra’s chest rising and falling with her breathing, Ozymandias held the bedroom door open wishing to leave the room as Stelmaria gilded her side against him as she exited before Asriel and Marisa then followed as Marisa reluctantly listened to Asriel nodding her head.

As they exited the room, they left Lyra’s bedroom door open slightly for air to flow in and to check on Lyra. They retreated down the corridor making it halfway before throughout the house the doorbell rang announcing someone was at the door. The married couple glanced at each other in anxiety and fear along with suspicion as they theorized on who it was considering they hadn’t been expecting any visitors. 

They heard Thorold opening the door and greeting the guest who had asked for Marisa by name, he was led inside the foyer as Asriel and Marisa quickly made their way down the stairs to greet the person who had arrived. Asriel followed Marisa fixing his suit as they began to descend the stairs trying to keep up with his wife, Asriel put up his guard as they rounded the corner in the stairs. 

The man was dressed professionally in a grey tweed suit and had their back to them as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Thorold made eye contact with Asriel. “A Mr. Delemare to see you my lady” he announced with skepticism and slight annoyance for the man rubbed him the wrong way. 

Marcel then chose to turn around at that moment and as soon as Asriel saw his face, he became enraged “You!” Asriel shouted as he then sucker-punched Marcel across his smiling sickly charming face, Marisa gasped in surprise at the punch not expecting it. 

Marcel jumped back clutching his face as he groaned at the pain, he had blood within his teeth as he smiled at Asriel “Hello Asriel, glad to see you haven’t changed” he then turned to Marisa his face softened becoming serious within a second as he smiled softly through the pain with soft eyes holding his nose slightly.

“Hello, Marisa...” Marisa eyed her brother with contempt and annoyance, as her eyes held pain and slight anger inside, she was as mad as Asriel was when he had punched Marcel how she wished it was her who had. 

Marisa smiled with no warmth behind it as she looked towards her brother, Asriel kept a protective stance between Marcel and Marisa ready to strike once more if needed, holding himself back for the time being; always quick to anger. Stelmaria growling leering near Marcel in warning, as Ozymandias sat on the stair railing disinterest however eyeing Marcel's snowy owl daemon who was sat upon one of the ceilings supports eying Ozymandias as well. 

“What brings you here Marcel?” Her eyes narrowed as she quickly glanced upstairs swearing she heard a noise. 

“Did you receive mother's letter?” he inquired as Marisa's gaze was brought back to her brother's face, the face in which she hadn’t seen for years as her mind was brought back at his words. The flowers, he was talking about the flowers that had been sent to Lyra. 

“Yes” she spoke softly before a crying scream from upstairs sounded out echoing across the estate. 

“ _Father!_ ”


	14. Flashes of The Past

Everyone’s eyes widened at the cry echoing throughout inside the manor estate, Stelmaria growled before taking off at full speed up the stairs, Asriel matching her pace pushing Marcel out of the way in his haste not caring only having one thing on his mind. Lyra, his daughter. 

* * *

_ She felt submerged in water as she heard muffled screaming, shouting, dogs barking and laughter.  _

_ Rooftop tiles in her line of sight giggling and jumping from rooftop to rooftop looking over her shoulder at blurry figures behind her. Blurry figures in her vision flowing and unclear, laughter in her ears as she raced with another blurry figure around grand hallways. _

_ “Lyra, will you wait?!” a familiar boys voice shouted out _

_ A large field of grass swam into her view as her feet moved as she ran screaming at a zeppelin, with anxiety. _

_ Waving her hands in the air as she shouted: “Wait!”  _

_ A hand and smiling face of her mother reaching out for her hand excitedly with a smile showing her the penthouse apartment.  _

_ She heard a soft loving voice reassuring her  _

_ “soon you’ll be all better”  _

_ Arms held her tight clinging to her like a lifeline, she felt safe and warm. The crackle of a fire in the background, a blanket being carefully placed on top of her as she slept and a comforting hand brushing her cheek.  _

_ She sees a fountain of water and tosses a coin causing a reaction within the water. It then morphed into her being hoisted up by strong safe arms onto her father's back, she gripped his coat with a smile as she held onto him.  _

  
  


_ “Father!”  _

_ Lyra cried and screamed with everything in her in fright as she saw dark blurry figures punch and beat her father in front of her eyes. _

_ There was rainwater running down her face, thunder, and lightning in the pitch-black night sky, feet running in the rain loudly.  _

_ One of her feet splashing into a vast puddle in the darkness. _

_ Fear seized over her, as a dark shadowed hand grabbed her suddenly and her vision swam in darkness. _

_ “LYRA!” _

* * *

“Lyra” Marisa croaked out in fear as she made to move after Asriel, Ozymandias going to climb up the stair’s railing only to have Marcel’s snowy owl daemon screech and fly gliding into Ozymandias as Marcel tightly grasped Marisa’s wrist stopping her, Marisa grunted at her brother fighting to pull free from his grasp. 

“Let go of me Marcel!” she growled at her brother, glowering with a heated glare.

“Asriel has it handled, we have more important things we need to discuss” Marcel spoke devoid of emotion and fully rational. 

Marisa pulled her wrist out of his grasp, as she grunted in frustration huffing before slapping him hard painfully across the face 

“You are not keeping me from my child again, she is what is important” Marisa spat with heavy emotion as she and Ozymandias fought off Marcel’s snowy owl daemon who fell to the floor on the opposite side of the stairs lowly hooting in pain off to the side her head bowed in shame. 

Marisa glared at her brother with a fire and anger it would scorch anything that laid their eyes upon it. Marisa pushed her anger and rage to the side as she then began to run up the stairs clutching the railing as Ozymandias climbed up the stairs racing to reach Lyra’s bedroom. 

Marcel hadn’t dared to go after them, having been glared at by Thorold who gestures for him to sit and wait for the parents to return. 

“Asriel?” Marisa quickly called loudly as she reached Lyra’s bedroom which had the door wide open, she clutched the door as she made her way into the vast girl’s bedroom they had been in only moments ago before Marcel had shown up. 

Marisa frantically searched the room with her eyes, finding no one inside her fear captivating her as she remembers the two times that Lyra had vanished from her. 

Then she noticed the white lace curtains were loose and flowing from the wind coming from the open windows, Ozymandias noticed it first climbing upon the window seat in front of the large open lattice windows.

Marisa near stumbled as she gripped the edge of the window gasping for air as fear, nervousness, and devastation gripped her. Marisa then heard voices coming from the rooftop of the estate from the windows. 

Ozymandias then climbed out onto the rooftop along with Marisa carefully however with rapid speed nearing the voice. 

“Lyra, you need to wake up!” Asriel shouted out as he noticed from the corner of his eyes Marisa emerging from the window.

Marisa stumbled trying not to fall off the rooftop as she glanced gasping in the air at the sight of Lyra at the very edge of the roof standing still and Asriel behind Lyra calling her name. Marisa carefully made her way to Asriel’s side clutching to him in dread and fear as Lyra’s foot moved the slightest inch closer to the edge. 

“Lyra!” Asriel shouted harshly into the air upon the roof as he noticed his wife now clinging to him as she held her mouth open frozen in fear. Asriel put a hand out to tell Marisa to stay where she was as he then broke away and started moving slowly towards Lyra. 

Asriel with steady feet moved every bit closer to Lyra with every second seeing how close he could get. Marisa watched with wide eyes clutching Ozymandia's hand with a death grip which made him cry out in pain as it was all she could do.

“Lyra, step away from the ledge!” Asriel called out to the girl who showed no indication she had heard him at all. Lyra was sleepwalking and was not at all aware she was about to drop quite a lot of feet off the estate rooftops. 

Marisa then cried out “Lyra!” as she was in shock and full of fear, something she hadn’t felt as often in her life, however, took over multiple times ever since Lyra re-entered her life.

It was what happened when one carried about another’s well being. Marisa turned her eyes to Asriel.

“Asriel do something!” she demanded with a fierceness, fear in her eyes looking to her husband, he glanced at her with determination as his eyes held fear as well knowing the direness of the situation and what could happen. 

“Lyra…” he called out desperately trying not to show emotion, he felt helpless as he hoped Lyra didn’t move anymore. 

“Wake up!...wake up Lyra!” Asriel called out to Lyra who swayed as the wind hit her causing her to lean forward towards the edge stumbling at the lack of footing. Lyra began to tip over the edge causing Asriel to run up to her just in time to grab the back of Lyra’s dress and pull her fiercely into his arms as he then fell backward onto the rooftops away from the ledge. 

Marisa ran over, Ozymandias hand was let go as she belted over to Asriel and Lyra who held Lyra close to him clutching her to his chest not letting her go as he breathed in and out heavily from adrenaline, shock, and fear of almost having their daughter fall to her possible death from the rooftops. 

  
  


Lyra was inconsolable as she sobbed and heavily breathed crying out. At the action of Asriel saving her Lyra’s crying eyes slowly opened to the natural light from the outdoors and the sunlight, she felt a hand brush along her cheek up and down soothingly and a familiar shushing sound that made her relax as she breathed in awaking. As soon as Lyra saw whose arms she was in, she rushed and hugged her father tight to her crying into his chest gripping tightly to his suit holding on for dear life. 

As Lyra sobbed, Asriel’s face softened in relief and affection, as he held Lyra to him rubbing her back before clutching the back of her head. Marisa bent down over the two checking Lyra all over frantically for any harm and injury as her eyes glazed over with unshed tears and curiosity at the sight of Lyra so broken. 

It was so out of character for Lyra, it took Asriel and Marisa completely by surprise. 

Even though Lyra wasn’t quite herself she had never sought out affection from them so openly before; nor had she had the opportunity to. Lyra tried desperately to get her breathing under control however her emotions took over her as her fear was overwhelming her from her sleepwalking nightmare that felt ever so real. 

Ozymandias noticed that Stelmaria had retrieved Pan, who was currently in the form of a puppy. He raced over to embrace Pan as Pan cried out the same as Lyra. 

Marisa placed her hand in Lyra’s hair as she tried to soothe her daughter, Lyra continued to cry hard not letting up, not letting Asriel go or slacking from his hold. 

Asriel after a moment stood up with Lyra in his arms, grunting at the weight slightly before moving back into the safety of the bedroom. Asriel made eyes for Marisa to enter first through the window, Stelmaria who had Pan by the scruff of his neck leaped back into the bedroom with Ozmandias reaching for Pan following screeching in desperation and jealousy. 

Marisa held her arms out cautiously as Asriel made moves to climb through the window with Lyra clutched to him tightly, he managed as Marisa eyed Lyra so delicately, enamored, infatuated and intrigued at the reaction and the change within her. 

Marisa then quickly closed the windows hard with frustration as she then proceeded to lock all of them before taking the window key out and keeping it; she was beginning to hate windows. 

She then turned her attention back to Lyra in Asriel's arms, her eyes softened at the state of Lyra, who was still crying and sobbing clinging to Asriel.

Stelmaria leaped upon the bed with Pan in her mouth depositing him gently before. As a pup Pan barreled over to her as she laid upon the bed stretching out. Pan curled up as close as possible to Stelmaria, while Ozymandias had begun to pet him a bit hard, trying to be comforting. 

Lyra buried her face into Asriel's neck and her head upon his shoulder as tears went down her face in excess, her chin wobbling every second as she struggled to breathe. 

As Asriel moved close to Lyra’s bed, Marisa reached her arms out longingly for Lyra who refused to let Asriel go. Lyra was gripping his suit in her fists still refusing to let go; apparently shaken, scared and in tears. 

“No” Lyra cried out in a whisper at her mother’s actions, who was taken aback, ragingly jealous at her apparent closeness to Asriel at the moment. 

Asriel sighed as he glanced at Marisa’s eyes seeing the underlining jealousy and hurt in her eyes, for some reason Lyra did not wish to part from him. Asriel sat upon the bed trying to lay Lyra back down, causing him to lay as well since Lyra refused to let him go. Asriel then reassured Lyra he rubbed her back comfortingly, as she shook holding onto him in attempts to cease sobbing.

“Lyra it’s alright” they assumed Lyra was currently upset from her near experience upon the roof, they had no idea what was to happen next. 

Lyra cries were muffled, speaking into Asriel's chest and neck her face flat into his suit

“No it’s not, they hurt you” she cried as another sob let out. 

Asriel’s eyes widened, however not as much as Marisa’s as Lyra spoke. Her words halting their inner thoughts at the moment. 

They realized what Lyra had meant, she remembers when Asriel was taken by the magisterial guard; Asriel jaw clenched as he himself remembered. 

They had given him a beating, all taking swings at him; he still had the bruises. Asriel’s gaze met Marisa’s who looked at him with a shrugging gaze and underline of guilt; just a little. 

“Well it’s alright now, you're father is just fine” 

Her mother reassured her as she stroked Lyra’s hair as she relaxed in her father’s arms as he then attempted to shift her onto the pillows and off his chest.

Lyra slowly then let go of Asriel who was still laid beside Lyra, Marisa then brought Lyra’s grey fur blanket on top of Lyra to cover her. Asriel made moves to sit perched on the edge of the bed, as he pushed his heart away from the sentimentality of the situation. His thoughts entered his mind; partially the problem downstairs called Marcel. 

Asriel leaned down close to Lyra for a second as if to kiss her forehead before stopping himself and speaking instead.

“You shouldn’t worry about it Lyra, I am perfectly fine. Now, there is a guest I have to attend to. Be a good girl and listen to your mother” 

Asriel smiled softly at Lyra with warmth in his eyes, as he then stood up to attend to Marcel downstairs leaving Lyra alone with Marisa. 

Lyra nodded at her father’s words as she hid her face in embarrassment half into her pillow as tears were still present on her cheeks and her eyes still moist from them, her eyes red from crying.

Lyra gripped the grey fur blanket in her hands in comfort as she blinked her eyes trying not to think about the nightmare she had just had and her near fall off the roof. 

Marisa brushing her dress down sat softly where Asriel had vacated Stelemaria had leaped up after Asriel leaving Pan curled up being hugged tightly by Ozymandias who was still petting Pan who continued to whimper. 

Marisa gazed at Lyra longingly, with interest in her eyes as if she were a puzzle; she wondered if Lyra was beginning to remember and more importantly how much. 

She moved her hand to brush Lyra’s hair away from her face as another tear made its way down, she tucked Lyra’s hair behind the girl’s ear.

Lyra’s chin wobbled as she closed her eyes leaning into the pillow as she reached to grab it in her hand, she was still shaken from what she saw. All those voices, blurry faces, noises, the dark figures beating up her father and then reaching out to grab her.

“It felt real…” Lyra mumbled as she sniffed taking air in fighting tears that still fell from her eyes, as breathed out “it was like... they were memories”

Lyra with her eyes closed felt a cool hand brush their thumb on her cheek wiping away her fallen tears. She felt her mother lean down close to her face before she kissed her forehead just like she had felt in her dream, she then whispered into Lyra’s ear.

“It was just a nightmare, everything is alright” she ran her fingers through Lyra’s hair in order to soothe her. Lyra felt herself becoming calm, sighing into her pillows as she sniffled through her tears; listening to her mother’s words. 

It was just a nightmare...wasn’t it….only it couldn’t have fully been. Lyra then slowly lifted her head from her pillow opening her tear-filled red eyes to see the caring gaze of her mother leaning down comforting her one arm around Lyra’s side. 

Lyra spoke softly “There was…” Lyra struggled to breathe and speak as she wiped another tear from her face, Marisa had begun to shush her and get her to calm down. 

“There was a boy… and my friends” Lyra's words escaping her as she thought back to the blurry image of a boy with brown hair, who worked in the kitchens, who raced her throughout Jordan college.

Marisa’s hand stilled within Lyra’s hair, Ozymandias freezing as well tightening his grip on Pan who was wrapped in his arms. 

“Oh?” Marisa played coy as she listened to Lyra, internal frustration she pushed down at the near mention of that boy Roger. She held back her emotions as she waited to see what else Lyra would say, what she remembered.

“We climbed the rooftops, we were happy and then there were these men in black chasing us…..They hurt father in front of me, he told me to run away...All I remember was running” Lyra breathed out as she thought back to what she remembered, her lips went flat as she tried not to cry once more. 

Pan whimpering broke free of Ozymandias arms who screeched out, Pan snuck in between the little crevice between Marisa and Lyra curling up into Lyra’s chest and neck; Pan not caring how close Marisa was. Lyra reached a hand into Pan’s fur, gripping Pan to her, as a tear leaked out; Marisa looked in surprise at the new closeness of Pan.

Ozymandias with a scowl came over to Lyra’s back and sat against it, Marisa noticed the movement as she eyed Lyra and Pan with regard. 

Marisa closed her eyes as she looked at the bed frame above Lyra’s head in thought, sighing “You had been with your father when those men attacked you. You had escaped them….. it was two months later until we found you” Marisa spoke with a great amount of regret and sadness in her voice, as remembered quite well how it was those days scared thinking incessantly about where Lyra was and about her; desperate to find her.

Lyra looked up at her mother at her words, it was a memory. Marisa then looked Lyra in the eyes with love and sadness, trying not to show her slight annoyance of Asriel having taken Lyra away from her at the time. 

Lyra then began to slowly sit up on her bed, listening fully to her mother's words, maintaining eye contact with her only to break away at her own thoughts. 

“We looked everywhere, hoping you were alright...I wondered each day if you were safe or...or worse. Then there had been a telegraph sent, you had been found however you had an accident” Marisa smiled sadly as she lightly touched Lyra’s head which still had a light white bandage around it; she brushed her thumb on the crown of Lyra’s forehead.   


Lyra sat silently breathing, clutching Pan to her as she listened to her mother speak, it was calming and after listening to her.

Lyra's nightmare no longer seemed like a nightmare and now was confirmed as her memories. Lyra couldn’t decipher which was more troublesome, that her father had really been attacked or her being grabbed by those shadow men. 

“Lyra, I missed you every day you were gone…... I can’t tell you how happy I am to have found you” 

Lyra seeing the expression in her mother's eyes and the sadness then reached out her arms and hugged her mother tightly embracing her. Sinking into her neck and shoulder, seeking comfort. 

Marisa gasped as Lyra embraced her, her face held so many emotions at once before she reached her own arms to wrap around Lyra returning her embrace. 

“I may not remember, however, I can feel that I missed you too” Lyra spoke muffled into Marisa’s neck as she held her mother sinking into her arms, the same embrace from her memories. 

Marisa closed her eyes at Lyra’s words, she held her daughter tight closing her eyes breathing in Lyra’s scent from her hair as she fought to not let a tear fall at the emotions she was currently feeling. 

After a couple of minutes, Lyra loosened her grip on her mother still hugging her, Marisa who still sat on the edge of the bed held Lyra to her before shifting her arms. Smiling softly at Lyra with warm eyes, Marisa was brought back to Asriel and Marcel currently downstairs conversing alone. 

“Right, how about we go get some Chamomile tea from the kitchens hmm?” Marisa suggested as Lyra smiled softly back at her smile before she rubbed Lyra’s arms before getting up from the bed and holding a hand out to Lyra.

Lyra took her mother’s hand, figuring her mother was showing her the way to the kitchen since she didn’t know which way to go. However, Marisa was holding Lyra’s hand since she did not wish for Lyra to be out of her sight for a second, especially after the stunt she pulled while she had been sleepwalking on the roof. 

Deep down, Marisa wouldn’t like to admit it. She also held Lyra’s hand for comfort and was a bit possessive as she descended down the stairs of the estate with her daughter, to prepare herself in facing her brother head-on after so many years. 

Marisa and Lyra made their way down from the upstairs onto the marble flooring in the foyer Pan’s paw’s made little sounds on the flooring as he sauntered behind them, his tail wagging happily; Ozmandias just behind him watching his every move. 

Lyra felt better since her conversation with her mother, her mother gripped her hand awfully tight however not enough to hurt Lyra. 

Lyra remembered her mother, she remembered something and for the first time since she woke up in hospital she felt that things would be alright. 

  
  


“You must be Lyra” 

Marcel smiled warmly with sparkling interested eyes as he noticed Lyra, seeing Marisa and the girl descend down the stairs from the open doorway of Asriel’s study.

Well, things would be as alright as they could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments, any predictions or critiques would love to hear from you all :)


	15. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Play this during the flashback if you like, it set's the tone:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0nX5T8iX4Q

Asriel descended the staircase to confront Marcel once more, he glanced upwards as he thought about Lyra and how distraught she was when she remembered him being beaten it lightened his heart. 

“I’m to assume that was my niece” Marcel inquired with a calm tone. He had been taken aback at the girl screaming for her father, causing intrigue while confirming his suspicions that the girl was still suffering from her recent experience. 

Marcel sat in the foyer in one of the chairs waiting patiently for either Asriel and or his sister to remerge, after hearing voices upstairs he couldn’t help feel slightly concerned especially after noticing their servant rush outside in a panic as if to help or catch something if it fell from the roof. 

Asriel turned his eyes to Marcel with a scorned look of annoyance, dismissive, and protective in his words. 

“Nothing you are to be concerned about” 

Asriel reached the bottom of the stairs, as he sized Marcel up as the younger man rose from the chair he had been occupying to greet his presence.

Marcel with confidence and warning in his voice “I would beg to differ since the girl is my niece. However Lyra is not the main subject of what I’ve come to discuss, whether Lyra becomes apart of that conversation remains to be seen” 

Asriel narrowed his eyes as he made his way close to Marcel’s face eying him with a fierceness, Asriel suppressed his anger as Stelmaria sauntered towards Marcel growling low in warning. 

“Is that so?”

Marcel not batting an eyelash “It’s a fact”

Asriel fixed him with challenging eyes as he flexed his hand into a fist, as he got into Marcel's face. 

Marcel fixed him with a matching gaze, only his face contained a cheeky grin as if he knew something Asriel didn’t. Which he did.

“You’re not going to have her taken away, I’ll see to it...not again” Asriel said through gritted teeth, as feelings of possessiveness and protectiveness seeped into him.

Marcel’s jaw hardened as he thought of past events. He surprised Asriel when his voice held melancholy as he looked down.

“That is not my intention” 

Asriel eased as he took in Marcel’s words in surprise, the man held remorse in his tone and eyes, the last thing Asriel would expect coming from Marcel Delamare. 

“I must let you know I am currently here on behalf of the Magisterium and Cardinal Sturrock” 

Asriel felt the air leave him as the gravity of the situation sunk in, the agreement he now held with the Magisterium. He glanced meeting Marcel’s eyes with a serious expression, some color having left his face however his face held strong. 

“This conversation is better suited elsewhere. Shall we?” Noticing the turn of the conversation, Asriel then directed Marcel. As they went straight adjacent from the front entrance to the lounge. 

There were lounge chairs and sofas placed in front of the grand stone fireplace. The lounge contained many artifacts from his explorations, maps, and souvenirs from over the years he had accumulated. Along with numerous Family heirlooms that had been thankfully still inside the house never having been removed. 

Asriel stepped into the lounge making his way to the fireplace where a clock was placed upon the mantle, Asriel reached to adjust the clock mechanism. Marcel had followed him into the lounge as he faced Asriel who had his back to him for the moment. 

Asriel gripped the edge of the mantle leaning over it slightly as he closed his eyes sighing at the situation they were all currently in. He should have known there would be a price or two for getting everything he had wanted. 

“How much do you know?” Asriel asked slowly, speaking softly.

“Enough…..enough to know the Cardinal knows more than he shares. He has an interest in the girl and when the cardinal shows interest. All of the Magisterium follows” 

Asriel’s breathing deepened as he registered Marcel’s words, all of it was a veiled threat. 

Asriel had known the Magisterium had always shown an interest in Lyra ever since she had been born, however, he never knew they held this much interest. Something had to have changed. 

“And the agreement?” 

Asriel inquires, as he then glances to Marcel who stood in the doorway; his daemon perched on his shoulder before she flew onto the edge of one of the lounge chairs and perched there. 

“It was my idea actually, to keep my sister and her child safe. Given my expertise in examinations of heretical matters I have been tasked to make sure everything is adhered to. While you keep to your word to the Magisterium, Lyra will be safe”

Asriel felt anger rise within him that he held back as he thought of the situation he was in, once again while he may have had his house, lands, child, Marisa, and his wealth he no longer had his freedom. 

All in order to protect Lyra, Asriel rubbed his face in frustration as he then heard hushed voices and footsteps making their way down the stairs. 

Asriel then turned his head quickly at the noise which also caught Marcel’s attention who had turned around facing the doorway of the lounge.

“You must be Lyra” 

Marcel charmingly smiled at Lyra at the sight of her, he could only see her mary janes and half of her dress since the girl had shyly hidden most of herself behind Marisa. 

Marcel noticed the look upon Marisa’s face as he spoke to Lyra, Marisa wore a scalding look of suppressed anger upon her face which morphed into a tight-lipped protective smile at her brother.

Marisa then turned her attention to her hiding daughter who was cautiously hiding herself shy behind her, just as any other child would when meeting a stranger suddenly. And a stranger Marcel was.

The man took Lyra by surprise, she remembers her father had said there was a guest however she had forgotten it until now. Lyra peeked out from behind Marisa curious about the man, he held a smile upon his face however Lyra chanced a look into his eyes and saw something lurking inside them. 

Marisa reassured Lyra as she moved her hand in attempts to pull Lyra out from behind her, Lyra struggled at first however eventually complied. Marisa moved Lyra in front of her, protectively placing her hands on Lyra’s shoulders in comfort holding her to her front. Marisa gripped Lyra for dear life as if she would be ripped from her arms like all those years ago when she was just a babe. 

Marisa glanced up with a smile that hadn’t reached her eyes.

“Marcel” 

She acknowledged her brother cautiously from the foyer with Lyra. 

Marisa glanced behind Marcel meeting Asriel’s eyes with a concerned gaze, Asriel looked back with a hard jaw and serious eyes causing Marisa to falter and concern to grow. Asriel's eyes landed on Lyra who was also glancing at him, she smiled softly at the sight of him relaxing a bit seeing he was still alright; Asriel couldn’t help it when his eyes softened at the sight of his daughter. 

“Well aren’t you going to introduce me to my niece, isa I thought Maman taught you better than this” 

Marcel tisked, causing Marisa to internally fume at his words. Lyra glanced up at her mother in confusion before looking back cautiously at the man, Lyra then really began to look at him and noted the similarities between him and her mother and what surprised Lyra the most were similarities she found with herself and the man. They all had the same nose. 

“Lyra...this my brother your Uncle Marcel” 

Marisa spoke reluctantly lacking enthusiasm, Lyra raised her innocent eyes upon Marcel making eye contact. The man, her uncle smiled softly before greeting her.

“Hello it’s nice to meet you”

Lyra moved slightly forward to greet him, only to have Marisa pull her slightly back into her keeping her close. Marcel, seeing Lyra’s innocence and his sister's actions slyly grinned. 

“It is nice to finally meet you Lyra. Now let me have a look at you, my my...you remind me of your mother when she was your age” 

Marcel’s eyes sparked with interest as he noticed Lyra’s features and similarities, his words caused Marisa to relax slightly and smile proudly. 

“However I can certainly see you’re…” Marcel forced himself to spit it out “you’re **_father_** in you. How unfortunate” he mumbled the end real low, Asriel and Marisa glowered with glares at his words as Marcel grinned before winking at Lyra to show he only said it in jest causing Lyra to have the faintest of a smile before it vanished. 

“Lyra and I are going to sit down to have a spot of tea in the kitchens” Marisa attempted to escape her brother going to steer Lyra and herself towards the kitchens. 

“Darling?.... Marcel has some important issues to discuss with us” Asriel spoke to catch her. 

Marisa stopped at Asriel’s voice, only to begin worrying once she noticed Asriel’s gaze. 

“Thorold!” Asriel then called out for his loyal servant, who appeared only a second later at his name.

“My lord” Thorold acknowledged as he entered into the foyer near Lyra and Marisa.

“Please take Lyra into the kitchens for some tea” 

Asriel asked as Thorold then turned towards Lyra, smiling as he gestured for her to go with him. Lyra made moves to go with Thorold while Marisa clung to Lyra not wanting to let go, catching the watching eyes of Asriel and Marcel. 

Asriel made his way around Marcel and over to Marisa, knowing this was coming. Ever since Lyra had been in hospital and they had all been together, she had refused to let Lyra out of her sight. She refused to leave Lyra in her bedroom only an hour ago before all of this occurred, the feeling had only gotten worse after Lyra just almost fell off the roof. Asriel had to pry Marisa’s hand’s from Lyra with pleading eyes as the girl had not noticed her mother’s desperation and separation anxiety. 

Lyra free of her mother who reluctantly watched Lyra follow Thorold, felt Asriel place his arm around her waist pulling her close in comfort. 

“Chamomile tea Thorold” 

Marisa called out instructing him, the man nodded as he then led Lyra down the halls to the kitchens.

“Just like Maman used to make” Marcel smirked knowingly picking at Marisa’s nerves, as she returned her gaze to her brother with narrowed harrowing eyes. 

“Follow me little miss” he smiled at Lyra, a soft spot in his heart for the girl. 

“Hard to let go?” 

Marcel jabbed keeping his eyes on Marisa in surprise and glee, never having seen her reduced to a hovering mother hen. 

Marcel smiled with a glint in his eyes as a silent victory had been won inside his mind. His sister, his all-powerful, seductive, and manipulative sister is completely wrapped around his niece's finger so tight the circulation is close to being cut off. 

Marisa fixed her brother with a hard look of pure vileness and repulsion now that Lyra had left the room, she flinched forward as if to attack her brother however she felt Asriel’s hand move on her waist. 

His touch soothes Marisa for the time being only, as Marisa with a hardened gaze and a false tight smile then made her way into the lounge with Asriel following her with his arm still wrapped around her waist as Marcel followed, raising an eyebrow at the couple. 

The door to the lounge closes with solid sound reverberating throughout the manor as it was nearly slammed in frustration by Marisa. 

* * *

Lyra with a smile on her face followed Thorold into the kitchens where he had Lyra sit at the servant's table along with him as they waited for the kettle to be ready. Pan perched upon Lyra’s lap glancing back down the hall, Lyra and Pan had picked up on the uneasiness of her mother and father with her uncle. 

They had looked worried and her mother wouldn’t let her go, her reaction was a bit worrying and made Lyra wonder about her newfound Uncle Marcel. 

“Tea is nearly ready, miss Lyra” Thorold spoke, drawing Lyra’s eyes to the kind man as he sat at the table alongside Lyra pulling out one of the chairs, sighing as he sat down before smiling at Lyra. 

Pan studied Thorold for a moment as an idea popped inside Lyra’s head, in which Pan nudged Lyra to ask Thorold something. 

“Thorold” Lyra asked innocently and cautiously, as the kettle then spouted out steam announcing it was ready. 

Thorold stood up to the stoves grabbing the kettle and preparing the Camomile tea for Lyra like Marisa had asked she had. 

“Yes little miss?” Thorold responded as he poured the tea in a white teacup with gold trim on the edge.

“I’m trying to remember things, after my accident and I was wondering…..” Lyra spoke softly and cautiously as she wanted to be answered and hoped Thorold would help. 

Thorold placed a cup of earl grey tea for himself and Lyra’s camomile onto the table in front of both of them before sitting back down as Lyra spoke and listened. 

“If you could tell me why mother was nervous when Uncle Marcel met me and why am I only meeting him just now or have I already met him and forgotten?”

Thorold took a sip of his tea at Lyra’s question nearly burning his throat as he struggled internally if he should answer it. 

“I don’t think..”

Thorold looked about on the edge of saying no before Lyra smiled, her dimples on her cheeks highlighted and her eyes sparkling innocent as she put on the charm to get him to say yes. 

“Oh please Thorold, I don’t remember much, and if you could tell me it would help me understand” Lyra blinked her eyes as Pan moved on Lyra’s lap anxiously waiting for them to know Thorold’s response. 

Thorold closed his eyes as he held a serious face as he spoke “I’m sorry miss Lyra, it is not my place nor my story to tell. Perhaps your father may tell you” Thorold smiled softly in apology, Lyra deflated at his words however understood why the man could not tell her. 

“Now you’re mother wished for you to drink your tea, go on” Thorold gestured to Lyra’s tea that had sat there in Lyra’s quest for answers, at his words Lyra drank her tea. For some reason it calmed her, it felt familiar as she must have had it before. 

After a couple of minutes Lyra then finished her tea, then Thorold had told her he supposed she could go play in her room until her parents were done speaking to her uncle Marcel. 

Lyra with her head down moping passed through the foyer glancing at the lounge door now closed, she wished she could hear what they were talking about. Lyra knowing she should go back to her room did so drudging back up the grand stairs with Pan following by her side. 

“Perhaps we could continue exploring the manor, it is gigantic and there is so much to see”

Pan proposed to Lyra who agreed to the idea as going back to taking a nap did not sound appealing after what had happened before. Lyra did not wish to have any more nightmares having been shaken from the one she just had, although she did see some memories while dreaming. She was still put off, there were so many scary things that had happened she didn’t wish to see again. Like her father being beaten and those dark shadowy figures that kept trying to get her and hurt her, she shuddered at the thought. 

Lyra reached the top of the stairs before venturing down the hallways of the manor, she passed her bedroom finding it once more before glancing at her parent's bedroom across the hall before she kept exploring to see the other rooms that were left unexplored. 

Eventually after passing many artworks along the walls and antiques on podiums Lyra passed another door that had a family crest above the entryway. It intrigued her as Pan pointed it out, Lyra looked down the hall hearing and seeing no one opened the tall wooden door.

Once inside Lyra reached for the anbaric switch, which lit up the vast room. It appeared to be a grand library with towering bookshelves with various old and new books upon them all varying in subjects. The floor was grand oak polished along with various artifacts and antiques along with a tall glass ceiling providing the room with natural light, the windows had red velvet curtains on each end with gold accented curtain rods. 

“Wow it’s like the grand library at Jordan” Lyra blurted out to Pan, before Pan and she stopped glancing wide-eyed at each other. 

“You remember something” Pan leaped into the air slightly in excitement, his tail wagging as he jumped around. 

“I guess I did!” 

Lyra smiled glancing at him, as her eyes swept around the vast library there were great oak tables for reading along with various lounge chairs and what caught Lyra’s eyes happened to be a chess table along with a full set near one of the windows.

Lyra brushed her hands on the dusty grand oak tables one of which held a gigantic complete map of the world that had various markings upon it, which sparked Lyra's interest. Pan leaped upon the table as an ermine studying it as well, he sat next to Lyra’s hands which were placed at the edge. 

“This map is different, it has specific points on it Pan and look at these symbols” Lyra noticed specific symbols upon the pan in certain areas, they weren’t that noticeable unless one was looking for them or it had been pointed out however to Lyra they stuck out clear as day. 

Then suddenly Lyra could hear some raised voices muffled from the side of the library from above, Lyra looked upwards in alarm; however, they did not see anyone. 

“Hello?” 

Lyra called out nervously as Pan jumped off the table with the map before landing on the floor as Lyra moved towards the noise looking up. 

Lyra then noticed there was a second balcony floor of the library which included more books, Pan jumped onto a library ladder which shifted along the wall of books catching Lyra’s attention. 

Lyra wanted to know what and where the noises came from, being ever so curious and bored and climbed upon the solid wooden ladder until she reached the upper floor balcony which overlooked the entire library.

Lyra glanced around noticing the various bookshelves up there and lounge chairs, then she heard the voices again in which she walked toward a statue in one square corner on display before noticing a small wooden panel behind the podium. 

Lyra crawled down on her knees as she opened it with a creak seeing not much but darkness, Pan moved backward's in slight fear as he bowed his head at the sight of darkness inside. Lyra looked inside before glancing at him.

Pan shook his head “Lyra don’t” 

Lyra thought about it for a second before she crawled inside as Pan followed her quickly. 

Inside was like a vent, it was surprisingly large, almost like a tunnel. There happened to be various tunnels going in different directions however Lyra continued to follow the sound of the voices. Lyra crawled for a while before suddenly the vent dipped and it turned into a slide of some sort which caused Lyra to scream out in surprise along with Pan. 

“Ahh!” Lyra shouted as the slide continued, she did not know where she was going to end up and Thorold nor her parents knew where she was. 

Suddenly there was light in Lyra and Pan’s view before another wooden panel opened at the force of Lyra and Pan expelled them from the tunnel and slid onto a wooden floor. 

“Oooff” 

Lyra cried out as they landed on wooden flooring like every other room in the manor, Lyra laid on the floor as she took in her bearings. Pan was on his back rubbing from side to side before rolling over with Lyra simultaneously before glancing around where they landed. 

“Where are we?” 

Pan asked as he glanced around the room cautiously, inside of the room was a couple of lounge chairs and one side bookcase on one wall, on the other wall was a grand set of knights armor in front of a tapestry behind it. 

Lyra began to panic as she saw no door in sight, only to be distracted from that fact by the very voices she had heard before only now louder. It came from the bookcase, which Pan then squired towards and climbed upon one of the shelves as Lyra moved closer. 

Pan then nudged a book that had been loose, Lyra then moved it as her eyes widened in surprise as she was able to see her mother, father, and uncle inside the lounge talking in angered hushed tones. 

“I don’t think we should be here” Lyra softly spoke in slight fear, not wishing to eavesdrop and get caught as a feeling came over her that she would regret doing so. 

“We need to remember, perhaps by listening it might help” Pan spoke in a convincing tone sitting on the bookshelf facing Lyra who had begun to step backward's stopping as Pan spoke. Lyra did desperately wish to remember, each day she felt empty as if in a dazed dream where nothing felt real. 

Lyra glances back towards the wall where a dark walkway with cobblestone steps lead to somewhere supposedly to a hidden door leading out before glancing back towards the bookshelf.

“Alright”

Lyra sighed before joining Pan hearing the voices through the books, hidden from view. 

* * *

“For now the cardinal simply requests that Asriel remains loyal to the magisterium” 

Marcel stressed to Marisa and Asriel as he sat with his leg crossed over his other sitting upon the sofa adjacent to the other sofa where Marisa and Asriel sat together; however a space between them.

Stelmaria was laying down on the plush intricate rug in front of the fireplace, while Ozymandias sat next to her patiently however distanced from her. 

“Furthermore for the time being the general oblation board has been dissolved as the Magisterium seems to be focused on a more pressing issue. That of which I’m hearing may pose a valid threat against the magisterium, it is undetermined what this threat may possibly be…..however while it is being pursued Asriel is to remain contained as per your agreement” 

Marcel held a hard glance at Asriel at his words as Marisa sat seething that her work had been put on hold nearly destroyed all for Asriel. Really it was for Lyra, to get her back to how she was before. Make Lyra whole once more, she could still be great. Marisa could make her great.

“ _Is that all_ **_Marcel_ **” Marisa bit out as she hid her clear anger and distance for her brother behind a sickening grin. Asriel wore a hardened scowl upon his face, his jaw clenched as he agreed with Marisa in wishing Marcel gone as soon as possible from his home and his line of sight; especially within reach of Lyra. 

“Professional matters quite. Personal not even close” Marcel stood his ground stubbornly as Asriel and he faced off in a battle of glares. 

“Maman heard about Lyra. She is concerne-”

“She has **no** _right_ to be concerned” Marisa bit out with fierce anger as she shouted out, not daring to look at the painted look of Asriel and Marcel’s guilty stubborn expression. 

“Isa-”

“ **No,** she gave up the right to be concerned the day she forced me to abandon my child!” Marisa cried out in anger as her emotions emerged, as the past was being rehashed out. 

She had quickly stood up as she shouted out in passionate anger fueled with hurtful emotions of the past, Asriel reached out a comforting hand to stop her only to be ignored like a painful slap. 

Asriel too remembered that very day, the day of his trial where they both lost everything. 

Marisa’s face held a sullen stunned expression as her mind was slowly pulled into the past in a haze. 

* * *

_“Asriel was only protecting Lyra” she cried out_

_“You will not speak of that boy or that sin you have created!”_

_Madame Delamare gripped Marisa’s wrist so tight it hurt her immensely, leaving a noticeable mark. However to Marisa the pain did not compare to the turmoil she currently resided in._

_“You don’t understand, I love him!”_

_There was a cracking slap as Madame Delemare backhanded Marisa across her tear lined face._

_“I understand_ ** _more_** _than_ ** _you_** **_ever will_** _, there is_ ** _no_** _such thing as love only_ ** _lust_** _and_ ** _sin_** _to you. You are infected with it, surrounded with dust. You're just like your father, a disgrace to our family, and the authority. You are beyond ruin!”_

_“I love him maman..if not for me please help my child!”_

_“That child will go where it would be best, far away from you and your sinful nature. You will never see the child again, that sinful man will pay for his crimes and you will testify against him. You will do so or you will have nothing, do you understand!”_

_Madame Delamare had a hand raised ready to strike Marisa, who lay kneeled shaking with sobs and fear upon the floor as Ozmadnias cried out being bitten by her mother's lizard daemon upon the tail._

_Madame Delamare towered over Marisa exerting clear power of domination. “The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can redeem yourself. You can still have it all darling, I only wish for what is best for you”_

_Through sobs and blurred vision Marisa could only submit in her turmoil, submitting to her mother's will._

* * *

_Marisa avoided Asriel’s gaze the entire trial, as her mother held her hand firm and threateningly tight causing great pain. A pain which was drowned out as they spoke of Lyra as Asriel had been stripped of custody._

_Once asked if Marisa would take the child, her mother’s nails sunk into her skin causing Marisa’s skin to be slightly pierced drawing the faintest of blood. Marisa fought off her tears and emotions as her heart was ripped from her, leaving her numb and hollow._

_Her mother’s words leaving her mouth. The words leaving her lips that she forfeited her right to custody stating she wished nothing to do with the child. Asriel kept eyes on her the entire trial, Marisa felt his eyes the most upon her words of abandoning Lyra, abandoning Asriel as well._

_Leaving them, their memories together. Turned into spite_

_Once the verdict had been read out loud at the trial, Asriel had near lost it as he was dragged away in restraints. As far he knew and still knows, Marisa was in on this campaign against him. Someone told the magisterium of their affair, then Edward found out and was killed by Asriel protecting Lyra. Marisa may have not ousted herself and Asriel about their affair, however, she went along with preparing testimony damning him and causing him to lose Lyra, to lose everything he owned._

_He shouted out for Marisa with such hatred and anger_

_“Marisa!”_

_“You cold hearted-, your own child. Our Child, how could you turn your back to her; you promised…..you promised you would keep her safe!”_

_Marisa nearly went to him, overcome with emotion she wished to shout out that she changed her mind about Lyra. However Marcel was there steering her away from the court chambers, away from Asriel making it easier to turn her back. Away from Lyra. Away from her responsibility. Away from love._

_“You will regret this!” Asriel shouted out in such heated emotion as tears near clouded his eyes, Marisa met his gaze for the briefest seconds._

_All of which contained. Heartbreak. Anger. Sadness and most of all betrayal._

_Marisa would never forget that day for years to come, subject of many nightmares and painful hurtful memories._

_Marcel placed himself between Marisa and Asriel as he was escorted out past them in restraints, the man reduced to tears and fits of anger struggling in the state police’s hold._

_“At least I fought for us...fought for Lyra…... You’re nothing but a coward” he lowered his hurt filled voice into a pitying statement as he finished his sentence, stabbing Marisa into her already shattered heart. The love between them now burned to decimation._

_Bitter hatred and loathing formed, fueling a split between Asriel and Marisa._

_This moment is where the hatred was born, on this day. At this moment._

_As they had been leaving, a state police official approached Marisa, Marcel, and Madame Delamare._

_“Monsieur Delamare may we have your signature for your statement from the night of the crime”_

_Marisa’s eyes widened through unshed tears she glanced towards her brother Marcel, who was avoiding her gaze. Madame Delamare quickly in attempts to distract Marisa quickly made it to exit while holding Marisa on the arm._

_“Marcel?” Marisa asked in question as her brother now turned to her with an expression of faked innocence, before he switched his face into a scowl, his mouth opening to respond devoid of words._

_“He was only acting upon my request”_

_Marisa simply looked upon her mother's face absorbing her words, numb in expression and demeanor as a realization took over. Her mother was the one who told Edward, Marcel had alerted the state police to Asriel’s cottage; it was all planned._

_“It was you…” Marisa said in a deathly low voice, one would akin to someone about to commit murder._

_“I did it for you. That man would have fully ruined you along with that child!” Madam Delamare proclaimed with fiercely determined eyes as if she was just._

_Marisa adopted a vile tone as she schooled her face into a deadly manipulative expression as violent anger bubbled up within her. Marisa ripped her arm from her mother’s grip, freeing herself from the woman’s painful grip._

_Marisa’s hands appeared to be shaking as she then balled her hands at her sides into fists making the white from her bones appear through her skin._

_Marisa then smiled a soft smile through her pain, before she then turned on her heels away from her mother and brother._

_“This will be the final time you see me”_

_Sauntering away, powerful and ambitious in her steps she exited alone to take on the world burning and manipulating any and all within her path never to see her mother and brother again._

_“Marisa!”_

_Her mother called in shock and anger as her daughter turned her back to them, she was free of her mother at last._

* * *

  
  


Lyra, at her mother’s raised voice stumbled backward hitting the bookshelf slightly with her feet as she tumbled to the ground in fear. 

Memories assaulted her, a high society party within a luxurious penthouse flat. A sweet-talking older woman with the lorgnette in a fancy dress. Telling her about her mother and an affair, she had run away. It was all a lie….they were liars.

Lyra’s head hurt immensely as she clutched her head within her hands, Pan jumped down from the bookcase shifting into a bird swooping down near Lyra before shifting back into a white ermine. 

“Lyra...Lyra!” Pan was shouting out towards her in worry, as Lyra moaned and held back tears from the pain in her head. To Lyra Pan sounded like he was underwater.

Lyra then saw flashes of dark figures chasing her, grabbing her forcefully in their rough arms attempting to kidnap her in a dark empty street at night. Lyra then, overcome with fear and pain stood up and stumbled towards the cobblestone steps which lead to a hidden door leading out.

On the other side it was dark, there was a tapestry in front of the door which Lyra pushed in her pain and in a daze which was upon one of the corridor walls covering up the hidden door. Once Lyra emerged the tapestry bent back as if untouched, Lyra hadn’t noticed as Pan scurried behind her following as Lyra with hindered and sluggish movement attempted to make her way back to her room. 

Lyra feeling out of it leaned upon her slightly open bedroom door which caused it to bang as it hit the wall in the doorway. 

Thorold who had been looking for Lyra to check up on her had come running at the noise, he saw Lyra standing in the doorway of her bedroom leaning upon the door.

Lyra was struggling to breathe properly and looked out of it, she didn’t even notice Thorold who placed his hand on her shoulder in concern. 

“Miss Lyra?” 

Lyra hadn’t responded and now Pan appeared to be standing still staring off into the distance, into nothing both their eyes unfocused. 

Thorold then quickly ran down the grand stairs reaching the lounge where Marisa, Asriel, and Marcel still currently were. 

* * *

“She is becoming rather insistent, she heard what happened. She wishes to see Lyra”

Marisa was glancing out the window avoiding the sight of her brother, who was being currently watched and glared at by Asriel. 

“I will not allow it” 

Marisa bit out towards her brother, the thought struck fear within her. It was bad enough Lyra had met Marcel, she would never allow her mother near her let alone be within the same room as her child. 

Thorold without warning nearly slammed open the lounge wooden door, breathing heavily.

“Thorold what is the meaning of this?” Asriel jumped up angry at the intrusion however more angry at what Marcel had just asked. Asriel then realized what would have made Thorold interrupt them. 

It was Lyra.

They all raced quickly up the stairs all together even Marcel who was more curious as to what was happening than concerned. 

As they came into view of Lyra's bedroom they all saw that Lyra's hand slid down the side of the door as she fell to the ground. 

Lyra's eyes rolled into the back of her head before she hit the ground hard.

"Lyra!"

Asriel and Marisa both shouted out in shock and fear as Lyra fell to the ground hard. Lyra as she fell into unconsciousness felt two figures come to her side before she heard her father shout out. Lyra started flailing upon the ground in a seizing fit.

"Get a doctor!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you all are well and safe. I struggled writing this chapter since I wanted the flashback to be good or at least passable. It was hard to write, hopefully now since I have overcome the future chapter should release sooner than this one did. Sorry for the wait, hope you liked it. See you next chapter


	16. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I graduated from college, everybody. How crazy is that? 😃😁🎉😎  
> Enjoy the chapter

Asriel paced back and forth within the waiting room. While Marisa sat upon one of the various chairs her head bowed in her hands. Worry and nerves seeping over both of them.

"We took her home too early, we shouldn’t have rushed her” Marisa sighed out through her hands covering her face.

Marcel was off to the side, only really here for Marisa. He hadn’t expected how severe Lyra’s condition was, nor did he care however since he had finally met his niece he was interested in her outcome. Especially how Marisa seems to react when it comes to her. 

“They should tell you information soon, I shall be off. Give my well wishes to Lyra"

Marcel spoke towards Marisa before not even acknowledging Asriel only with a distasteful expression before he departed the hospital. 

There was a good amount of time of silence, before Asriel broke it after looking down the hallway fighting off concern for Lyra and sentiment as his emotion-fueled his anger. 

"This is your fault"

"I beg your pardon" Marisa asked in a stern tone.

"If you hadn't taken her away from Jordan she would still be there safe. Memories and all"

"You shouldn't have kept my daughter from me for twelve years!"

"You threw us away, you abandoned her. When did you suddenly decide to care?!"

"I’m here now!" Marisa weakly defended through tear-filled eyes, anger now upon her face as her protected instincts towards Lyra emerged. 

"I bet it was when you decided to start your **_research_ **. You felt guilty for leaving her, you took her away. Bringing her straight into danger-"

"You are a terrible man and a terrible father. Such a hypocrite you lied to her, left her at stupid college all those years. Neglecting her, she was never safe-"

An interrupting cough broke their loud passionate argument within the hospital waiting room, the doctor had approached the couple to provide an update. 

Marisa seeing the doctor quickly neglected Asriel ignoring him and approached the doctor wishing for answers, information on Lyra. 

Asriel joined her approaching the doctor as well, Marisa already took charge. 

“How is she?” Marisa asked in a frantic worrying tone ready to jump to Lyra’s side. The doctor held a frown upon his face, as he glanced at the worried parents in front of him. 

“It appears it was just a scare, Lyra had a seizure which is common among people with recent head trauma. It may appear that going home may have been too much too soon for Lyra. She will need plenty of rest while she recovers-”

“Thank you, doctor, which room is she in?” Marisa asked hardly restraining herself as she wished to be with Lyra.

“She is in 352b, however, I should warn you she doesn’t wish to see anyone at the moment” 

“I’m sorry?” Marisa became agitated while Asriel then became confused at the doctor's words.

Marisa did not like having others tell her what she can and can not do, she smiled a delicate intoxicating smile as she sighed.

“I’m her mother” 

Marisa then strode away sauntering on a mission down the corridor of the hospital in search of Lyra’s room Asriel on her heels following. 

Lyra was laying upon her elevated hospital bed with Pan upon her shoulder nuzzling into her for comfort as a white ermine, as Marisa quickly entered the room with sharpness. Pan sprung off Lyra to hide away from sight crying out in fear, Lyra glanced towards the door and her mother in surprise. 

“Lyra darling I’m so glad you're alright” Marisa cooed as she approached Lyra who Marisa failed to notice was scooting backward upon the bed shrinking away from her mother. Marisa cupped Lyra’s face in her hands softly, Lyra was shaking in fear as she did so. 

Marisa smoothed Lyra’s chin with her thumb as she analyzed Lyra's expression, she refused to make eye contact with Marisa and was tilting her head to get out of the woman’s grasp. Marisa did not pull away as she bore confusion seeing Lyra’s reaction to her, a dramatic difference to her daughter who earlier that very day hugged her for dear life. 

“Lyra’s what’s the matter?” 

At this moment, Asriel entered the room seeing Marisa interact with Lyra who looked frail and afraid of her mother lying upon the hospital bed; he stopped seeing the conversation choosing to lean against the wall and observe since it felt like a moment between Lyra and Marisa.

Lyra’s lip then began to tremble as she was forced to make eye contact with her mother, who wore concern upon her face. 

“You lied” 

Marisa froze at her daughter’s words, as her mouth hung open for a moment; she was at a loss of words.

When Lyra eavesdropped upon the conversation, everything came together as Lyra was stunned as she realized how everything was connected. Her mother worked for the magisterium.

The gyptians had told her, the magisterium had been taking children. The gobblers, the same gobblers that took Roger.

Lyra thought back to the documents she found in her mother’s desk about a place called the station and the blueprints of the blade. 

Lyra did not want to believe what she had concluded when piecing together all the information. 

Perhaps this is what her father had not wanted to tell her. 

Her mother. 

She was doing dangerous things with dangerous people is what he had said. Lyra thought angrily as she had come to the conclusion before she had passed out. 

She wasn’t even looking for Roger since she knew exactly where he was, she had been responsible for taking him.

It was all a lie….. She was a liar….

As Lyra laid shaking in fear and anguish, hurt in her eyes. 

Her world had been thrown upside down once more. 

Her mother tried to get her attention after Lyra starred off in her tears, her mother then placed her hand on the back of Lyra's head and brought her into her arms in an embrace holding her tight. Lyra did not simply care, she had been lied to and betrayed by her parents.

The same parents who had abandoned her when she was only a month old. Her mother left her shortly after her birth and her father left her at Jordan college. 

Her uncle lied to her for years while Mrs. Coulter who suddenly decided to take her in lied as well failing to omit who she was to Lyra even when Lyra had asked. 

“No” 

Lyra broke out of Marisa’s embrace softly as she wished to distance herself from the woman hurt and betrayed by her own mother. 

Marisa wore a hurt wounded expression upon her face, while Ozymandias made a growling sound before leaping upon Lyra’s bed as if to find Pan; Marisa quickly held her daemon back with a fallen dark expression upon her face as she bowed her head to hide it from Lyra.

“You lied to me...you lied to me about being my mother and you lied about finding Roger”

Lyra spoke so softly with a painted hurt filled tone of voice as she confronted her mother. 

Marisa’s head snapped up as she heard Lyra, with a shocked expression that Lyra remembered and more importantly she remembered poor little Roger Parslow. 

“You remember?” 

Marisa softly spoke with sparkling eyes and tears beginning to form, she reached out her hand to cup Lyra’s face only for Lyra to flinch away from her touch causing Marisa to feel as if she had been burned. 

Lyra looked away from Marisa towards the window which showed the sun setting in the sky, as Lyra attempted to fend off tears. 

“You abandoned me, I remember that you hurt me…” 

“I’m sorry that being who I am has caused you _damage_ . I never meant to do you _harm_ ” Lyra refused to look at her as tears blurred her vision, Marisa seeing Lyra’s still hurt expression. 

“Lyra you must believe me” 

Marisa reached out to Lyra’s face holding it comfortingly and pushed back Lyra’s hair from her face. 

“I will believe you when you bring Roger back” 

Lyra angrily demanded through her tears, as Marisa sighed before looking down in a blank expression. 

“Well then, it appears that is simply not possible”

Marisa picked at her nails as if she dropped the facade about the boy as if she was not bothered in the slightest over Roger Parslow. 

  
  


“What?” 

Through blurred tears Lyra looked to her mother, who did not look at her. What did she mean, it was not possible.

“I’m afraid he got ill upon arriving in the north, he had unfortunately met an untimely end” 

“No”

Lyra whispered as she shook her head in disbelief, Lyra laid into her pillow as tear tools over her face in rapid succession. 

“I’m terribly sorry darling” 

Marisa then swept over closer to Lyra to provide comfort, she began to shush Lyra taking Lyra’s shoulders in her hands. Marisa gently wiped away Lyra’s tears with her thumb, as she shushed Lyra in attempts to soothe and calm her as she had done in the past.

“I don’t believe you” 

Lyra bit out in anger and tears, as she refused to believe her mother; only knowing the woman to lie constantly with her. Marisa seeing her lie was seen right through by Lyra, dropped her face confirming to Lyra that Roger was in fact not dead however still very much alive. 

“I lied to protect you Lyra, I don’t appreciate you not trusting me. **_I have sacrificed so much….more than you can understand_ ** , _I saved and found you_ . You are **my** daughter, **my** child; your place is with **me** ” 

“I’d rather be at Jordan than be with you”

Marisa felt as if she had been slapped across the face, as Lyra told her how she felt; Marisa in shock at how much Lyra words wounded her. It was as painful as the day of Asriel’s trial and the night Edward was killed.

Lyra cried out through a sob, as she felt the pain of being abandoned, all the lies; everything. 

“I want him back” 

Lyra stayed adamant, insisting she wanted Roger back at Jordan safe and sound away from the gobblers and away from the dangerous things her mother was involved in. 

Marisa and Lyra were in the middle of a manipulative stare down, where each both wanted something. Lyra wanted Roger and Marisa wanted Lyra, it was a deal or no deal. Lyra held firm in her expression matching her mother’s stubbornness and manipulative way.

“If you don’t bring him back, I will **never** forgive you” 

Lyra looked into Marisa’s eyes with truth and conviction, causing Marisa’s gaze to slightly falter. 

“All of this for a _common kitchen boy_ ”

“His name is Roger and he is my best friend”

Lyra through blurred tears breathed out in a sorrowful hollow voice, as she defended Rogers' value. 

Marisa had her free hand clenched into a fist, as she held back the storm inside of her; everything telling her to punish Lyra or lock her up forever in her room not bringing the boy back like she so demanded. However as she registered Lyra’s words, she thought.

“If Roger is brought back to Jordan, you are to stay. We shall be a family” 

Marisa, captivated by Lyra looked her daughter in the eyes, as she spoke striking an agreement. 

“Yes” Lyra was quick to respond, holding her ground, as she told her mother what she wanted; what she could do to make it right.

“Alright” 

Marisa sighed reluctantly conceding to Lyra, the boy would be returned to Jordan; he was however one child out of the many that were taken and still being held at Bolvangar. It was a simple answer, only Marisa knew she could still use Roger against Lyra to get anything she wanted. 

Marisa still had all the control and Lyra was still none the wiser. 

* * *

Asriel leaned against the wall as he watched Marisa talk to Lyra, he contained his surprise and thrill that Lyra has more of her memory back. She was going to be alright. 

He watched as Marisa attempted to comfort Lyra, after lying about the boy being dead. Asriel hid a smirk as Lyra called her mother out on her lie. Lyra learned the hard way that Marisa constantly lied. 

Lied about herself, lied about, and to Lyra, lied to everyone. 

Marisa was ever so controlling and could not be fully trusted, Asriel could barely bear it that she has control over his situation as well as Lyra. He swore he would keep Lyra safe after his trial and after Edward’s attempt on her life. 

He failed, time after time. He swore he would change that, for Lyra. Asriel needed to take Lyra away from Marisa, she would never be safe with her involvement with the magisterium. 

Let alone in the same world as the magisterium, they needed to leave this world, and if he completed his work they could. They could go to a different world, a world where there is no magisterium. 

They would be free, Lyra would be safe.

He could do it, bring them to another world where they would be safe; be happy. They could take on the authority, take on the real enemy. Rid the world of their control. 

Make a better world for Lyra, a new republic of heaven. 

All Asriel needed to do was play his cards right and plan everything. No matter how long it took, he would succeed. 

For Lyra, for the world. 

It would be easier to have Lyra leave with him this time around. For Lyra now knew the full truth, she would understand. 

She had to.

He had to, she was not safe.

  
A desirable thought appeared into his mind.

  
Perhaps Marisa could come with them, leave the magisterium behind. They could be happy, they could be a family. 

  
Perhaps not for him, however for Lyra.

  
They could have a new start.

* * *

Asriel noticed Lyra glancing towards him out of the corner of her eye, he softly smiled comfortingly towards her. 

Lyra looked towards her father, as Marisa once more reached up to fix Lyra’s hair making her shift her gaze back to her. Asriel then made his way over to Lyra and Marisa. Lyra was lying back into the bed, slightly out of it she closed her eyes slowly before opening them once more. Lyra had tear stains upon her face from her recent tears, Asriel sat upon the opposite side of Marisa, who refused to look towards him and was either staring at Lyra or the floor. 

Lyra noticed his approach and turned towards him with eyes of unshed tears, Asriel took Lyra's hand into his own and patted her hand comfortingly. 

"I want to go home. I want to go back to Jordan"

Lyra cried out to Asriel with emotion, wanting her carefree life back before this whole mess. Asriel smiled with sadness, Marisa's face held a pained expression. 

"I know"

Asriel spoke softly for he knew what she meant.

* * *

  
  
  


It was dim and cold, with mainly concrete walls and floors. The furniture within the facility was neutral dark tones which echoed the sterilized prison of bolvangar well. 

All children inside of this facility wore frowns and sullen expressions as they were led from their dorms, to outside to a courtyard then to the cafeteria for meals all herded like sheep day in day out.

All the children knew, is that one of them after a while would disappear and would be called away. Only lately as of the last month no child had been called, until now.

The doctors entered along with the nurses as they usually did two months ago, all the children suddenly froze growing tense and full of fear. Most had a friend to hold hands with and provide comfort as they all baited in wait for a name to be called.

“Roger Parslow, would you come with me please” 

Roger looked at Dr. Cooper with frightened eyes, as he nervously looked around noting all of the other children looking at him in sympathy and fear of his fate. Roger took a shuddering breath as he stood up from the table he had been occupying, before slowly following Dr. Cooper walked away from everyone else into the cold concrete-lined corridor which was lit up with only anbaric light.

They all walked in silence down the corridor, they reached a room. The same room Roger had been in when he and the other children along with Billy arrived. 

Roger glanced towards Dr. Cooper who wore an unamused expression upon her face, her face wore frustration as she checked information off upon a clipboard. 

“Right, it appears Mr. Parslow that you will be going on a trip”

“Where to?” 

A part of Roger trembled at the prospect of being separated from Billy Costa, all the while imagining they would send him somewhere much worse. 

“Geneva”


	17. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Midsummers Day in the UK, it is also my birthday!  
> Enjoy the chapter! :)

The first thing Lyra remembers once waking up from her seizure was a blur as there were muffled voices shouting various things she couldn’t make out. She had been hyperventilating in attempts to breathe in the midst of a panic attack after not knowing where she was and what had happened. One moment she was in the doorway of her new bedroom and then she remembered looking to Pan before nothing. 

Lyra felt someone grasp one of her hands as she saw anbaric light pass above her after another as she had been wheeled into the hospital and down various hallways. Lyra could hear someone shouting frantically demanding answers and to know what was happening to Lyra. 

It was Asriel who had been shouting, he was heated demanding answers and treatment for Lyra. Lyra felt someone brushing the hair away from her forehead over and over as if she was being petted, it was her mother. Lyra had noticed she had been crying, the hand that held Lyra’s hand then suddenly let go as a torch then took over Lyra’s full vision prompting her to pass out once more. 

The only thing Lyra knew, is that she remembered everything. 

* * *

Lyra had pieced it together with her memories coming back like a roaring fire in her mind, she remembered and she let Marisa know. Let her know she knew she had taken Roger. She remembered what she had discovered in her mother’s study, the blueprints along with a list of missing children such as Billy Costa and Roger. 

Lyra hadn’t had time between being ill and being taken by Asriel in the middle of the night and whisked away for a couple of months only to be recently reunited with Marisa and in a surprising twist Asriel as well.

Lyra fought for Roger, Marisa had told her she would have Roger returned however Lyra highly doubted her. She had lied before, she would lie again. 

Lyra barely spoke afterward, only speaking occasionally to Asriel. It drove Marisa up the wall in anxiety and frustration. Marisa constantly felt as if all the good things were being ripped away from her, far from in her control. 

Her daughter was barely looking at her let alone speaking to her, only Asriel and even then she hardly spoke. 

Asriel mainly kept himself by Lyra’s side after Marisa and Lyra’s conversation and the days afterward. He reassured Lyra that she was safe and that everything would be alright, which brought some comfort; however, even Lyra skeptically found his reassurance somewhat comforting. 

Lyra mainly interacted with the doctors who conducted some cognitive tests over the course of a couple of days making sure Lyra did not suffer another relapse, more importantly, another seizure.

Lyra nearly had a panic attack when the doctor came into the room to administer the medicine for Lyra, Lyra didn’t want to sleep again and she was afraid of another seizure from occurring. 

The doctors reassured Lyra that the medicine would prevent future seizures so she would not have one again; however, Lyra still held onto the fear. 

The doctor seeing Lyra’s hesitance called Marisa and Asriel out into the hall, which made Lyra grip Asriel’s hand even tighter. 

“Don’t go”

Lyra whispered scared, reaching out to Asriel in a worried voice. Asriel listened to Lyra and soothed her as he grasped her hand in his reassuringly, he could not deny Lyra a simple comfort especially with her eyes staring into his own. After they had almost lost her, Marisa and Asriel were beside themselves with some emotion. 

“Lyra, it’s alright we’ll be just outside the door. The doctor needs to speak with us, how about this. You can see us through the glass window, alright?”

Asriel reassured Lyra before Lyra then let go of his hand and nodded her hand in agreement, Asriel then brushed his thumb upon her forehead before leaving the room with Marisa; Lyra sat stunned her father had brushed her forehead it made everything that recently happened to her ever more real. 

Marisa smiled warmly towards Lyra as they exited into the corridor. 

Once outside the doctor faced Marisa and Asriel.

“Lyra seems to be going through some anxiety from her seizure. She may experience some fear about experiencing one again, hopefully, this will be a one time experience”

Marisa kept her eyes upon Lyra who laid upon her hospital bed speaking to Pan in a panicked tone, Pan had said something to Lyra for then Lyra turned her eyes once more back towards the window catching Marisa’s gaze. 

Marisa noticed Lyra scared and anxious expression as Lyra looked down quickly at the blankets

Asriel then scoffed.

“Don’t be soft, my daughter is stronger than that. You said she was perfectly fine when she was sent home the first time. Why did this happen?”

“Sometimes these things happen, it is all unpredictable however seizures may occur from recent head trauma. We are going to prescribe Lyra with a medication to help prevent this from happening again, however, I must warn you the medication is not a one hundred percent guarantee”

“When can she be released?”

Asriel asked the doctor incredulously and impatiently, wishing Lyra were home once more. He wanted her within the manor within his arms reach, she was vulnerable in this hospital. 

“She can go home in two days until then you simply need to be there for her and watch out for signs of another possible seizure. A nurse will be here in a moment to explain Lyra’s medication”

The doctor then bowed his head in respect before walking away to speak and treat other patients, Marisa crossed her arms as she sighed before making a glance towards Asriel. 

“She’s still a little girl Asriel, there is only so much she can handle” 

Marisa spoke softly towards Asriel as Stelmaria brushed against Marisa’s side before moving closer to Asriel.

Asriel said nothing as he leaned upon the edge of the square glass window looking into Lyra’s hospital room, Lyra was laying on her side facing them both with a sullen expression. 

“I know, that’s what I fear”

Asriel then leaned off the window walking away from Marisa and once more entered Lyra’s hospital room sitting upon the chair next to Lyra’s side he had been occupying before. 

Marisa watched him go with a sense of curiosity, the same she has for Lyra. As if Asriel and Lyra were a puzzle she wished to understand. She needed to understand their relationship, Asriel obviously knew Lyra more than she did which drove some jealousy to sweep in her veins. 

* * *

Lyra kept Asriel close to her whenever Marisa and himself would come to see Lyra each day the minute visiting hours started; until they could take her home. Marisa was punctual each day making sure they were there on the dot the very minute eager to see Lyra. Asriel was just as punctual and eager to see Lyra, deep down he was worried as much as Marisa about his daughter. He was afraid that even though he made an agreement with the magisterium they would still come after Lyra. 

He constantly felt he had to be there, to protect Lyra as if deep down he knew the magisterium would never leave Lyra alone. With Lyra in the hospital where they had to leave her every night, he barely slept with constant fear. He kept busy on those sleepless nights nursing a glass of tokay, drafting theories and extensions upon Marisa's research to appease the magisterium as his frustrated and worried thoughts fell upon his ailing daughter. 

He cared for Lyra, he would kill for her; he already had in the past. He tried throughout the years to not get attached to Lyra, spending only short amounts of time with her over the years. However, because of this whole ordeal as of late, he couldn't help getting attached to his child. 

He tried hard to mask it behind his expressions, which wasn't hard considering Marisa and Asriel barely spoke. 

Maintaining a distance between them, love lost oh so long ago. The tension and resentment between them were thick and cold as ice. The pair acting as if an invisible rift existed keeping them at arm's length, one would wonder if they were even married. 

Asriel moved his wedding band upon his ring finger with his thumb, he thought this finger would be bare until the day he died; life was full of surprises. Asriel and Marisa found that out twelve years ago. 

Marisa wore her wedding ring as if not bothered, being used to wearing one for years. She was no longer disgraced as she had been, pleased that her deceased ex-husband's band was now gone and replaced with Asriel's. She found she would twirl it upon her finger in thought from time to time when thinking about Lyra. 

Marisa mainly focused herself on learning how to help Lyra and assist her once she was free to go home once more, learning which medication Lyra had to take going forward and the correct dosage. They instructed Marisa and Asriel as parents on what to look out for such as symptoms and signs Lyra might have another seizure or need to rest to perhaps prevent one.

Lyra was becoming confused with Marisa more than the issues between them with the woman being overbearing, overprotective, and watching her every move afraid Lyra might combust; more like have another seizure however to Lyra it was grating upon her nerves. Lyra already was experiencing high anxiety herself, scared of having another seizure. It was scary when you lose control of your own body, given it could happen at any moment. Lyra didn’t say anything about this, in attempts to act tough.

Lyra had never had someone be so concerned and close before, even at Jordan they left her to her own devices besides her lessons with Charles and Mrs. Lonsdale's, retrieving her at the end of the day for dinner. 

It shocked Lyra and confused her considering the new circumstances. For Lyra now her uncle is really her father while the woman who took her in as an ‘assistant’ was her mother; so many changes occurred and were constantly happening Lyra was distraught trying to mentally keep up with it all. Her father, when he was known as her Uncle, hadn't even been as close to Lyra as he was now.

Asriel actually now, as Lyra thought about it, has been showing concern towards Lyra more so than when he was known as her uncle. Lyra guesses since everything was out in the open there was no more pretending; nowhere to hide.

Lyra laid in her hospital bed feeling sluggish and groggy, she still suffered after-effects of her seizure and her head injury which was still healing. They gave her a small dose of pain medication along with the new medication to prevent seizures, so she felt comfortable; it helped, however, Lyra felt faint and slowed down.

Marisa was currently fixing Lyra pillows for the first time today, she made it a habit to do so every day they visited. Lyra leaned forward letting her do so, however, she said nothing as she glanced around the hospital room and towards the machines monitoring her which made whirring sounds and a rhythmic beeping. Once Marisa had finished she smiled softly and sickly sweet towards the silent Lyra who only stared at the machines monitoring her listening to their beeping. 

Marisa in an attempt to reconnect with Lyra reached out to brush her thumb along Lyra's cheek brushing against her chin slightly. Lyra winced at the touch as small sudden pain from a cut on her chin hit her. 

Marisa flinched from Lyra wincing in pain from her touch now noticing the cut, she retracted her thumb from the cut not wishing to harm Lyra. Ozymandias made a sound of displeasure, as Stelmaria bowed her head in a light warning causing Ozmandias to glower under it. 

Asriel then leaned over curiously at the edge of his seat leaning closer to Lyra crossing his arms in thought. 

When Lyra had fallen suddenly to the floor at the manor she must have scratched her chin leaving a cut when she was seizing. 

"That may leave a scar Lyra" 

Marisa frowned towards him, in response; she sat down upon the edge of Lyra’s hospital bed next to Lyra wrapping one arm around Lyra who stilled at the touch. If Marisa noticed Lyra’s reaction she ignored it, Lyra looked towards her father.

"Don't worry, if it does leave a scar. It will be faint"

Marisa reassures Lyra mistaking the girl's silence and stares as being worried, softly smiling. Lyra was least of all worried about a possible scar; she was more petrified and scared about her own predicament. 

Lyra didn't say anything as she stared at both of them shifting back and forth analyzing them both after a couple of days since she woke up from her seizure and spoke with Marisa about Roger, she had time to think about everything. 

"Are we a family now?" 

Lyra breathed in before she spoke softly and low one would almost not hear it however the room had been quiet, being only the three of them and the whir of the machines monitoring Lyra. 

Asriel and Marisa shared glances with one another as the breath in each of them had been knocked out, words failing them for the moment. 

Asriel opened his mouth before closing it and sighing in thought over what he would say. 

"It would appear, so your mother and I have married. You are to live with us…..as it should have been all those years ago" 

Marisa had been looking down into her lap as Asriel spoke to Lyra, Asriel shakily held his gaze upon Lyra's eyes. 

Only for Lyra to glance towards Marisa after Asriel finished his sentence. Marisa feeling eyes upon her caught her breath when Lyra met her eyes causing Marisa's eyes to water slightly as she was pulled to past emotions. 

"Why now, why didn't you keep me?"

Lyra asked with emotion, the question she desperately wanted to ask that she held deep inside ever since she pieced together the truth behind Mrs. Coulter being her mother. Marisa’s hand upon Lyra’s arm intensified as if Lyra would be ripped from her grasp, Lyra knew exactly the right questions Marisa hadn’t wished to really discuss.

Marisa knew she couldn’t avoid it any longer, she took a moment before loosening her grip upon Lyra only to rub the girl’s arm with her hand as she did the one thing she had the utmost difficulty doing. She told the truth. 

“We couldn’t....in the past, there were forces keeping us all from being together. However, after everything that has happened recently....”

“I should have been there, we should have been there” 

Asriel spoke with his gaze down at his lap before catching Lyra's eyes with a guilty expression. After all those years of pushing Lyra to the background of his mind, as if an object tucked safely away at Jordan. The way he had treated her, for years bitter he couldn’t raise her as he properly should.

  
  


“We realized that no matter what happened, you Lyra. You are the most important thing to us”

“I’m sorry, it took so long for us to figure that out” 

Lyra could see their sincerity. It was overwhelming as she felt their words, they were along the lines of words she wished her dead parents would have said to her if they had been alive. Lyra felt as if she was dreaming as if this was all one big dream she had imagined. While her parents may have come around, it doesn’t change the fact that for the majority of her life. She had been alone, pushed to the side. Unimportant, ignored. 

“All those years at Jordan, I had nobody…..apart from Roger. When you first came to Jordan when you asked me to be your assistant. I wanted to go with you, even if Roger hadn’t wanted to go. Why did you take him?” 

There were soft looks all around as Lyra's parents both looked at her, Lyra was staring at Marisa with a pained expression wondering within her mind why her mother would do such an evil thing. 

"Did you take him, since I asked you if he could come? If you had told me the truth then….who you were...I would have just gone with you. I liked you…."

“You remember?” Marisa asked softly, inquiring, desperately wishing to know if the Lyra she got to know and loved had returned to them. Then realization washed over her as Lyra stared back at her with such pain-filled eyes, it struck Marisa as a dagger to her heart. 

Lyra only nodded in response looking down upon the hospital bed covers, not meeting their gazes. Marisa reached out for Lyra’s hand softly clutching it with warmth, as Ozymandias jumped upon the back of Lyra’s bed upon the bed frame near the pillows. 

“Lyra you have to understand that the work I do while it deals with children...it is to the benefit of all. Roger was taken just like any other child that was taken, all that I can say is that the children were being collected for the magisterium. No matter, the project, which required them has been suspended for the time being and eventually once it is all over. All the children will be brought back to their parents, meanwhile, Roger will be returned to Jordan”

Marisa stared at Lyra in her eyes, showing Lyra that this time there were no lies. No more, Lyra would get the truth; especially if she wanted her daughter to trust her once more. While Marisa hadn’t told Lyra the whole story, she told her what the girl wished to hear. Roger was being brought back to Jordan, it wouldn’t matter if she left out the exact details about her work in the north. Marisa was still bitter about her work being halted however in due time, that will change. She just has to talk to some people to grease some elbows over some time and once the current threat against the magisterium was dealt with she could continue. 

Until then Lyra was her main priority, Asriel was just a troublesome appealing bonus at this point.

Lyra sighed at all of the new information, she wanted to believe her mother about Roger however she had her doubts. Lyra wondered if her mother did keep her word and Roger was brought back to Jordan, would Billy Costa. What would life be like going forward?

“Everything’s going to be different now”

“It already is, but this time we have each other”

Marisa smiled at Lyra as she then reached over towards Lyra clutching Lyra's face lovingly before letting go and bringing her in for an embrace, holding her tight. Ozymandias was behind Lyra placing his hand upon Lyra’s shoulder, eying Asriel. 

Asriel feeling the golden monkey’s eyes on him, Lyra looked at Asriel as well from over Marisa’s shoulder. He only sighed before softly smiling in thought.

“We will keep you safe”

“You say that…..only bad things keep happening” 

Marisa held Lyra tighter at her words, in fear for her child.

Asriel then leaned forward low towards Lyra with an intense expression, catching Lyra’s eyes. 

Asriel's voice nearly broke at his words, as Lyra accepted his words before closing her eyes and melting into Marisa’s arms. 

“ _I promise_ ”

* * *

  
  


** Two Days Later: **

Marisa approached the grand staircase as sunlight shined through the various windows on the estate. She closed her robe shut concealing her nightgown from view, as she went down the stairs for breakfast.

Marisa entered the dining hall where breakfast was being served by the estate staff along with Thorold who was currently talking very low with Asriel quieting once Marisa sauntered in. 

Marisa quickly noticed Asriel who had a plate already and was currently reading the latest newspaper along with a notepad filled with various notes and sketches of machinery. Marisa noticed he hid behind the paper his discomfort of the sight of his wife. Marisa paid it no consequence since she then was distracted by something else. 

The seat on Asriel's right was made up and set, just like the left for Marisa, however, Lyra was not present. 

"Where is Lyra, is she not awake?"

Asriel slightly lowered his newspaper slightly only to show part of his face and eyes as he looked towards her curiously.

"No, she is still asleep. I figured it best she rests as much as she needs considering" Asriel then lifted his paper once more slowly as if shutting himself out and leaving the conversation knowing Marisa would be annoyed and or oppose him somehow. 

Marisa suppressed a look of agitation at Asriel's lack of tact and or thought. 

"She needs to take her medication every morning at nine or she may have another seizure or have you forgotten"

Asriel sighed as Stelmaria purred sharply towards Asriel, warning him to listen. 

"No, I haven't forgotten. I've simply had other thoughts on my mind this morning. Mainly the Magisterium….love" Asriel spit back out as Marisa simply smiled a wicked smile. 

They both stared at each other intensely in each other's eyes with some desire, frustration, and raw power. Marisa bit her lip slightly as she flashed her eyes before Ozmandiyas pulled her thoughts and eyes from Asriel's pull. 

They needed to wake Lyra for her to take her medication. 

Asriel could wait, Marisa sauntered from the room as Asriel watched her leave like a wolf looking at their prey. 

Marisa’s eyes swept backward teasingly towards him with a devious smile before she exited from view. 

* * *

Lyra’s bedroom door creaked open slowly being pushed by Ozymandias, the golden monkey whined as he glanced towards the bed along with Marisa. 

Lyra sprawled across the bed sporadically, still deeply asleep her chest rushing and falling with each breath. Pan was curled on the pillow next to Lyra’s head curled up in a ball content and still sleeping away with Lyra. 

“Lyra?” 

Marisa softly whispered in a musical voice in an attempt to arouse Lyra from her slumber. Marisa walked over to the curtains by Lyra's lattice windows to reveal some sunlight into the room hoping it would wake Lyra.

Marisa made her way quietly over towards Lyra’s bed to see Lyra sleeping away, Lyra had her hands near her face as she slept. Marisa noted it was the first time she had seen Lyra genuinely relaxed since first losing her memory and her accident among everything else that followed. 

Marisa sat upon the edge of Lyra's bed, the bed slightly dipping. Marisa’s face melted at the adorable sight of her daughter sleeping, she brushed her fingers upon Lyra’s face moving Lyra's stray hair upon it.

Marisa then retracted her hand, only to start slightly shaking Lyra before rubbing her back comfortingly. 

“Lyra…..Lyra” 

Marisa called out, raising her voice slightly more each time she called Lyra. Lyra shifted under the covers moaning as she awoke not noticing Marisa yet. Pan let out a little yawn before stretching all over the place, blinking his eyes at Marisa before making his way on top of the covers as Lyra shifted, waking up. 

“Good morning” 

Marisa spoke with a soft chuckle in her voice, as she smiled towards Lyra who’s eyes were coming into focus as she realized Marisa was the one who woke her up.

“Morning” 

Lyra said sleepily as she then rubbed her eye with her finger, hoping to get her vision to cooperate more. Lyra was still sleepy, she didn’t notice the golden monkey leap upon the bed next to Lyra, the golden monkey reached out a hand to gently pet Pan’s little head as gently as possible. 

Marisa was lost in the moment as Pan let him pet him, feelings filling both of them. Pan this time even leaned into the golden monkey’s hand causing Marisa’s stomach to do flips and fill her with satisfaction and love. 

Lyra still laid under the covers, nearly falling back to sleep as she was comfortable; she was pulled from sleep once more when her mother spoke again. 

“Lyra, why don’t you come down for breakfast. Hmm?”

Marisa spoke softly as she rubbed Lyra’s arm trying to wake Lyra a bit more out of her grogginess to perhaps get up. Lyra let out a small soft groan, not really wishing to get up, however, she realized she had to take her medication so she made moves to get out from under the covers to appease her mother. 

“Come on, up you get”

Marisa helped move the various covers covering Lyra in efforts to free her as Lyra sleepily went to stand up slowly as to not jostle her head suddenly. Once Lyra was up she practically leaned upon her mother as she was guided down the stairs.

* * *

Once Lyra walked in she noticed her father already sitting, he was looking over a newspaper hiding behind it however once he heard footsteps he folded the pages closed briefly to greet them with his eyes. 

Asriel was mainly watching Marisa enter escorting Lyra, hovering over the girl as if she would topple over at any point in time. Asriel’s eyes softened at the sight of Lyra in her pajamas she looked tired and slightly out of it. Lyra had bags under eyes as if she fought sleep last night in fear, the doctor had warned them of this. 

Marisa guided Lyra over to Asriel’s right, Lyra followed blindly, being steered and directed by Marisa. 

“Mrs. Coulter-” 

Lyra asked wanting to check in to make sure Marisa knew she hadn’t forgotten about Roger. She would never forget him, never again. 

“You know Lyra…. I go by Mrs. Belacqua now, even then….well….that is a bit too formal for you...you can call me mother, mum or even mama” 

Marisa reached out to Lyra’s hand upon the table, with a sickly sweet smile full of love; Lyra started to slowly slide her hand away from her touch before Marisa then tightly grabbed it firmly holding it there as she attempted to stop her eye from beginning to twitch. 

Lyra breathed in at Marisa’s reaction and action, Marisa was staring Lyra directly in the eye with a look of sorrow and conviction as her smile began to fade for the moment. Lyra had never had a mother, not really. She hadn't known what to expect especially if she could fully trust her newfound mother; she was curious to see what it was like. It overwhelmed Lyra, she breathed out in a sigh.

“Alright….Mr-mother” 

Marisa then smiled at the words with an electric smile of victory, as she then brushed Lyra's face with her thumb and brushed her hair away. Marisa then made eye contact with Thorold who had brought forward Lyra’s medicine upon a tray, they were pills which Lyra would have to swallow. 

Marisa nearly had a conniption stating Lyra was too young to take pills yet, proposing she might choke while attempting to take them; the doctor had told her it was the only version available and should be fine. 

“Here you are little miss” 

Thorold lowered the tray towards Lyra as Marisa hovered over Lyra’s shoulder preparing the girl to try and avoid taking them. Ozymandias stalked forward under the table ready to corner Pan. Only he didn’t need to for Lyra, quickly took the pills from the tray with a quick smile of acknowledgment towards Thorold before reaching for the water upon the table and taking the pills before Marisa could even blink. 

"Thank you, Thorold" the man simply smiled in response to Lyra, having a soft spot for her.

Marisa, relaxed and satisfied that Lyra had taken the pills on time, she brushed Lyra’s shoulder comfortingly before sitting down on Asriel’s right across from Lyra. They had all then begun to be served breakfast by the staff, Lyra sat quietly barely speaking, a contrast between their days upon Marisa’s terrace in the mornings in London.

Asriel and Lyra each took two crumpets upon their plates before reaching simultaneously towards the jams upon the middle of the table. They took their knives and scooped out jam and smeared it upon their crumpets the exact same way at the same time. Marisa watched in shock at their similarities as they then both folded their crumpets the very same way before eating.

It was slightly unnerving and filled her with a weird feeling she couldn’t describe, as she leaned back in her seat pushing around her own food before taking a bite herself. Ozmandiayas situated himself upon the floor at the corner with Stelmaria who was laying upon the floor lounging in peace.

Ozymandias laid back into Stelmaria as Marisa looked up once more towards her husband and daughter; it hit them all how amazingly domestic it all was. 

When Asriel finished his crumpet, he wiped his mouth with a napkin before he remembered something. He reached under his newspaper which laid upon the table.

Asriel slid a copy of London Geographic towards Lyra, which he knew she enjoyed reading; he hoped the gesture would help cheer Lyra up a bit. Lyra noticed it and shared a brief small smirk, very much like her mother. This made Asriel smile well knowing the small gesture had worked.

Lyra stared at the London Geographic cover as she glanced at the current picture, it made her think of Roger and talk about the north and adventures. About the past and about Jordan.

Lyra glanced towards Pan who sat upon the floor by her feet looking up at Lyra as if urging her to ask something. 

“Pan and I want to know...if there is any news about Roger and Salcilia?” 

Lyra asked the question once more, hoping this time there would be an answer from her mother. Marisa glanced towards Lyra after taking a sip of her tea before swallowing and placing it down before frustratingly speaking. 

“Lyra-” 

Marisa began only to see Lyra raise a challenging eyebrow towards her mother, Marisa looked away before sighing. 

“Roger is currently in Geneva, he will write to you once he is back at Jordan”

Marisa raised a similar eyebrow towards Lyra as if to say that she had kept her word. Asriel watched the two in the middle of the final bite of his last crumpet, he thought it was strikingly amusing and scary how similar Lyra and Marisa really were. 

Lyra lightly nodded satisfied at her words, which calmed Marisa who flashed a playful smile. Lyra wondered how life was going to be like now, that they were all together and a family. She’s never been part of a family, so she wouldn’t know. 

Asriel then wiped his face with his napkin before beginning to rise from the table. 

“I will be in my study going over some work, Lyra be good for your mother” 

Asriel raised a questioning glance towards Lyra, warning her not to get into any mischief or danger. She was already damaged enough as it is, Lyra didn’t need to add any more injuries to the list.

  
  


“Yes….”

Lyra noticed Asriel deflate slightly, as she didn’t address him. It was very slight however Lyra noticed it. 

“...father” 

“Good girl”

Asriel then softly smiled before looking at Lyra with some sort of pride before looking at her in a curious way in thought as if remembering something.

“Come to my study later, I have something I wish to show you”

“Do I have to?”

Lyra asked confused, wondering why he would want to show her something. 

“This..you will want to see Lyra”

Ozymandias watched Asriel with narrowed eyes as his tail wiped against the floor before swiping gently against Marisa’s foot who was sipping her tea pretending to not be interested. 

Asriel then surprised Marisa by then kissing her, bringing Marisa back to the last time he had done so. He then exited the dining hall making way towards his study in the opposite wing of the manor from the bedrooms, Ozymandias reaching out to Stelmaria who followed Asriel whining before looking down. 

Lyra shocked at her father and mother’s interaction, she was slightly disgusted at the sight. Lyra watched him go in curiosity wondering what he wished to show her.

She shared a glance towards Pan upon the floor before opening the London Geographic to begin reading, it had to be important.


	18. Smother

Throughout the day, Lyra ventured all around the manor, hoping to find a quiet spot to read the edition of London Geographic her father got her and her book. Only to jump from room to room, since her mother-well her mother's daemon constantly kept following her religiously.

Every time Lyra finally settled and got comfortable within a room, there he was.

He would appear out of nowhere, tracking her down. The golden monkey, her mother’s daemon.

It still unsettled Lyra how her mother’s daemon was able to be far from her at all, let alone a great distance. However Lyra would wager on it her mother was very close by, peering into rooms for she felt eyes on her all day. 

Lyra was currently in the manor’s grand library on the second floor which Lyra figured she would not be found as easily.

Lyra then heard noises as Pan cautiously looked towards Lyra before going to the edge of the railing upon the floor looking down. 

Lyra’s mother’s heel’s sounded down the corridor as she searched the various rooms, obviously in search of Lyra.

“Lyra?!” 

Marisa called out with clenched teeth, as more time went on her voice became more and more demanding and insistent on finding Lyra. 

Pan turned to Lyra whispering

"I wonder what she wants, why are we ignoring her again?"

Lyra groaned glancing away from her book towards her daemon.

"She's…..overbearing" 

Lyra struggled with the right word, whispering back as to not be heard.

"Overbearing….while she may be smothering us. She does seem to care. Besides, didn't father warn us to behave?" 

Pan tried to convince Lyra that they should eventually see what Marisa had wanted. 

"I suppose" 

Lyra was not in the mood, no matter. What would her father do exactly if she didn't behave, he never cared in the past. Would he now?

  
  


Worry slipped into Marisa’s voice as she failed to find Lyra, searching almost every room in the entire estate until she reached the grand library. 

Lyra's mother's heels gave her entrance away, as Marisa entered the grand library searching for her daughter. The golden monkey leaping in front of her frantic searching each inch of the grand library looking all around. 

"Lyra?"

Marisa called out peering around obviously looking for Lyra. 

Marisa, in a huff of frustration, quickly glanced around as Ozmandiyas prowled the library searching every inch. 

"Lyra!"

Lyra continued reading as Pan retreated to Lyra's lap comfortably peering at Lyra's London Geographic in interest while glancing nervously towards the edge of the second balcony floor of the library down towards Marisa and Ozymandias. Lyra was very cozy lounging upon the sofa on the second-floor balcony, not wanting to move from her spot.

Suddenly there were sounds of someone going up the hidden stairs to the second-floor balcony along with other sounds of climbing the ladder and a light screech. 

"Lyra"

Lyra through slightly heavy eyes jumped in surprise at the sudden appearance of her mother in front of her.

"You gave me a fright!"

"Why didn't you answer me?"

Marisa scowled at Lyra with a cross expression that was tight-lipped, she spoke with a clipped tone of impatience. She was trying to reign her anger at Lyra's disobedience.

Marisa demanded an answer from her daughter, Lyra only looked down and said nothing; not wishing to tell the truth. Lyra had seen her mother angry, she chanced a glance towards Ozymandias who was stalking towards her.

Lyra held Pan in her hands as he transformed into a small mouse to hide and burrow into Lyra in fear.

"Lyra" 

Marisa demanded in a warning tone with her hands upon her hips, Ozymandias ready to strike within a moment's notice. 

Lyra, fearful for her mother's wrath, finally spoke in a small voice.

"I wanted to be alone"

Marisa's demeanor shifted from anger and annoyance to concern and care as Lyra rubbed at her eyes trying to hide she had been nearly asleep.

"Oh, well…next time I am looking for you….please respond. I was concerned, please do try not to scare me like that again Lyra"

Marisa with one of her fingers curled a bit of Lyra’s hair behind the girl’s little ear with care, while Lyra slowly moved from her touch not used to the affection and what to make of it. 

"Fine"

Marisa raised an eyebrow at Lyra's lack of manners at the moment. Lyra gulped at Marisa's raised eyebrow, Pan gulped shaking his head as if to tell Lyra to not try it, not wanting to be attacked by the golden monkey who was staring him down unnervingly with an intense gaze filled with unknown emotions. 

"Yes, mother"

Marisa's face then shifted into an appeased smile.

"Good. Now, this is quite the spot you have found” 

Marisa looked around at the view and the vastness of the grand library admiring it from the second-floor balcony, Lyra looked cozy here. She smiled to herself noting Lyra had gone off to explore having found it. Which brought her a pleased realived feeling as Lyra was acting more and more like herself with each day, after having lost her memory and her accident. Lyra may remember, however, some topics, and things still were fuzzy such as what Lyra had gotten up to after Asriel had been taken. Lyra claimed to not remember, Marisa had her doubt's however she wouldn't push the topic for now.

"What are you reading hmm?"

Marisa inquired in an attempt to show interest in her daughter, glancing at Lyra’s London Geographic, she then deposited herself next to Lyra cuddling up to her side mimicking the girl’s comfort upon the sofa, peering over at it waiting for Lyra to answer her. 

“It’s the London Geographic, on special occasions I’m able to get a copy. They highlight the latest explorations and discoveries by explorers all over the world” 

Lyra shared with enthusiasm still having the dream to one day go to the north, she still held the dream of seeing the vast snow for miles. 

“I’ve gone on my fair share of explorations, myself. It was actually through them where I met your father” 

Marisa spoke playfully recalling her achievements with pride and accomplishment with light in her eyes, dwelling on Asriel and their times together. 

“Really, how did you meet?” 

Lyra asked curiously at full attention, hoping to hear how her parents met, for all she knew were the sad parts of how they had separated; her birth and Asriel’s trial. She wanted to know the good parts, the moment they met. They had gotten married, she assumed they had fallen in love especially based on how her father asked her small questions about her mother while they were in hiding for those months. 

The golden monkey sat upon the floor crossing his arms facing away from Marisa as Marisa thought about telling Lyra. She held a shocked soft gaze as if she realized she had trapped herself into now having to tell the tale. 

* * *

Neither of them heard Asriel approaching the grand library in search of Lyra and Marisa.

“Lyra….Marisa?” He heard soft voices coming from the second-floor balcony, so he leaped with a grunt towards the ladder in an effort to climb upwards towards them.

* * *

“Well….when I first met your father believe or not…I had saved his life”

“You….you saved his life?” 

Lyra asked in surprise and excited interest stunned her father had needed saving. Lord Asriel Belacqua had been saved by a woman. Of all things.

“Yes-”

“In more ways than one”

Both Marisa and Lyra whipped their heads towards Asriel just reaching the top of the ladder and climbing onto the balcony to stand before them. He joined the conversation with a soft look upon his face and eyes surrounded by memories. 

Marisa glanced at Asriel at his words with longing eyes which Asriel returned as he smirked playfully towards his wife. They played with their eyes for a moment or so before Pan made a light playful gagging sound while Lyra cleared her throat drawing their attention back to Lyra and the moment. 

“If I recall it well…..I believe it was **I** that had saved **you** first Marisa” 

Asriel crossed his arms slyly as he remembered the first time they had met, Marisa simply smiled and to the surprise of Lyra.

She laughed.

* * *

_“To reach our destination we are expected to head due north. We will reach it halfway before sundown where we will break to camp for the night. This will be one of the greatest expeditions of our lives gentleman!”_

_A younger Asriel Belacqua grinned, shouting to his colleague and various explorers all taking part in the current expedition in the north. All were thrill-seekers and adventurers out on an expedition exploring all funded by Asriel’s fortune._

_They were in search of the wonders of the north and attempted to fully examine and discover new information about the northern lights._

_The whole group had been marching through a tall ice cavern that was safe and sturdy for all of them and their equipment to all pass through._

_Asriel had been listening to Thorold explain the route to him and mainly the other explorers, he was walking ahead having already known the information._

_When suddenly above them a bit of snow fell into the cavern above their heads reigning down, some of the men scrambled believing a possible collapse was occurring as a chuck of heavy snow fell from above with some ice._

_There was a shout of an exclamation as a figure suddenly fell feet facing down from above; there had been an unseen hole that had been covered with snow above the cavern._

_Asriel suddenly, acting on instinct then caught the figure as they fell within his arms holding them close to him with the force and sudden weight._

_This person being within his arms felt like the most natural thing in the world._

_Asriel then came across a pair of dazzling blue eyes, those of which he had never seen before, captivating him and stealing his breath as they gazed upon each other for the very first time._

_Complimenting his as if mirrored pools of the same ocean._

_The woman struggled as she attempted to catch her breath, her heart beating a mile a minute fearing she had almost fallen to her death to be caught by this man whose eyes were as blue as a sea weathering a storm. Vivid and lively._

_“Are you alright?”_

_Asriel asked between breaths from his adrenaline wearing off asked the mystery woman who he could not remove his gaze from._

_The woman snapping out of her shock and the moment, breathed out catching her breath._

_“Yes, thank you”_

_The woman then gently removed herself from Asriel’s grip to which he helped set her down upon her own two feet as they continued to stare at each other in thought and some feelings._

_The woman brushed off some snow, from her fur coat and wavy curled locks of hair. Asriel brushed off some snow from the woman when he had caught her._

_Suddenly there were shouting down the cavern from the other side and above from where the woman had fallen from. It was tartars, Asriel’s colleagues and the woman’s people all readied themselves as they were then surrounded by tartars and all commenced in a fight._

_One of the tartars swung an ice pick close to Asriel’s face only for the woman to quickly grab a club that had fallen nearby and struck the tartar, causing them to collapse before they could hit Asriel._

_Asriel had fallen back onto the cavern ice floor from dodging the tartar’s swing, just missing his head however he cut his cheek leaving a slight scar._

_As the woman smiled mischievously towards him in triumph at having saved him, Asriel was getting up from the ground to stand when he saw the tartar lunge towards the woman this time._

_Before the tartar attacked the woman having only knocked her down, Asriel growled along with Stelmaria as they tackled the tartar to the ground, struggling in a fistfight as Asriel sucker-punched the tartar across the jaw as they tussled._

_The tartar made attempts to stab Asriel in the neck with a small dagger before Asriel overpowered him with brute strength before he dispatched the tartar by snapping his neck._

_The fight was clearing and as soon as the ambush had begun it was over, as only one explorer had been killed while the rest were luckier in surviving. Asriel was above the slain tartar who he had fought with, gaining his breath back the adrenaline still surging within him._

_Asriel then stood up from his knees near the fallen tartar over to the woman who had been knocked down hard, to check on the fallen woman._

_The woman with delicate however strong arms helped herself up, this time now the fighting and excitement had died down he then fully got a good look at the woman._

_She was beautiful and mesmerizing to glance at, captivating in every way and the most intriguing thing Asriel noticed was her daemon. Which happened to be a golden monkey, she was as unique as he._

_“These tartars figured our expedition as an easy target to loot”_

_Thorold announced in annoyance to the group of people all now within the cavern, which was Asriel’s expedition group as well as the women's._

_Asriel kept making glances at the beautiful woman, he deduced she must be on an expedition as well from looking at the people she had come with. The woman kept sparing glances in his direction as well when she thought he wasn’t looking, Asriel being prideful took the first approach._

_“I pity the man who gets on your bad side. You're more powerful than you look…?”_

_He went to introduce himself properly to the woman he had just saved from tartars. The woman smiling with light blush reached out as well to meet his hand in a gentle shake._

_“Marisa... and you are?”_

_“Lord Asriel Belacqua…..however you may call me Asriel”_

_The two stared into each other’s eyes as something sturred inside them, surprising them both as if a spark had been ignited._

_“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Marisa”_

* * *

Lyra hung onto every word, just like she had when she was very little when Asriel would visit Jordan and she would beg him to no end to tell her stories of his adventures in the north and about all of his discoveries. 

Lyra was surprised in awe that her parents had both fought off tartars in the north back to back, especially when they had just met. When her mother had told her she had fought tartars occasionally she wasn’t lying, she had meant she had fought them with her father. 

Marisa and Asriel were staring at each other with expressions of desire their pupils dilated, lust, and a gravitational pull that Lyra was unaware of nor noticed. 

“I can’t believe you fought multiple tartars back to back in the north!” 

Lyra exclaimed her surprise and excitement, trying to imagine it inside her mind. Her father rescuing her mother and then her mother rescuing her father it was amazing. 

Marisa and Asriel were pulled from their private moment, Marisa stopped lightly biting her lip, turning her attention back to Lyra. Marisa then chuckled at Lyra’s innocence as she bore expressions of wonder and excitement at their story. 

“Yes it was quite exciting”

“I want to be just like you and have adventures in the north!”

Asriel beamed proudly toward Lyra's exclamation of following in his footsteps as an explorer and a scholar, his shoulder raised while his chest puffed out with pride.

Marisa slightly frowned as realized Lyra meant she wished to be like Asriel and not really her, she would have to change that. 

Make Lyra like and trust her once again, like she currently did Asriel. It frustrated her as feelings of self-hatred, jealousy, and guilt seeped in. She hadn’t kept Lyra, Asriel had gotten to see Lyra grow up in a way while she was making moves and building back her reputation. She had missed so much.

“Well I am pleased you wish to be like us. However. You will _never_ encounter tartars not if I can help it”

Marisa exclaimed, warning Lyra that she would never allow Lyra in that type of dangerous environment. It would be over her dead body, tartars are dangerous and she now knows better than to give Lyra crazy ideas. The girl being her and Asriel’s child was very stubborn like her parents and prone to be quite adventurous.

“Right, what have you come to tell us?”

“Ah yes, I was actually looking for Lyra...I have something to show her in my study”

Asriel then held out his arm in gesture beckoning Lyra to follow him, Lyra then attempted to sit up only for Marisa to hold onto her for a second more as if holding her close before letting Lyra get up to join Asriel. 

“Lyra, come along” 

The golden monkey whined with displeasure as Lyra got up to follow Asriel, Marisa watched her go pretending not to be bothered pretending to fix her dress. 

The only thing that made Marisa satisfied internally was when Lyra glanced back towards her with a slightly guilty expression as she ventured down the stairs with Asriel out of her view leaving Marisa sitting on the couch alone upon the upper library balcony. 

The golden monkey glanced towards Marisa as if in calculating thought as if posing the question of if they were to follow after Lyra and Asriel. Marisa only numbly nodded in agreement wanting to know what Asriel was up to. 

Where he felt the need to show something to Lyra without her present, as if he had something to hide. If he hid such things from her it would possibly put Lyra and all of them in danger, she desperately needed to know.

Unbridled frustration settled in as she huffed sitting upon the couch staring into nothing surrounded by her thoughts as a determined expression coursed over her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while since I have no self-control and just kept writing and writing without breaking the story into chapter's. The next one will be very soon following this chapter.  
> Thanks for your patience, comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	19. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, sorry for the long wait, I have impulse issues so I wrote a long chapter instead of a short one. Please enjoy and leave a comment letting me know what you think as they make me want to write more chapters <3.

Asriel gently pushed open the grand oak door to his vast study, Lyra following directly behind him with Stelmaria by his side and Pan next to Lyra strutting as a baby snow leopard as if to mimic Stelmaria. 

Sunlight streamed in from the large tall and various windows illuminating the entire study.

“Lyra, come wait here” 

Asriel gestured towards his grand cherry wood desk which had intricate carvings and designs surrounding all its edges. 

Lyra headed over to the desk to see Asriel go quickly towards the door, glance thoroughly down the corridors before shutting the door tight before locking it even; as if to make sure there was no one around. 

Lyra ran her finger along with the wood of the desk, noticing various framed photograms upon it.

There was a picture of a younger Lyra taking Lyra by surprise, it appeared she hadn’t been more than at least six years old in it. 

Along with the picture of Lyra and her mother and the most interesting one of all happened to be one of a much younger version of her parents. They appeared to be interlocked in arms posing for a photogram at a gala of sorts where people were dressed fancy wearing high-end dresses and suits. 

Asriel wore a tuxedo while Marisa fashioned a stunning black gown, complimenting each other very well. Lyra’s favorite part of the photogram was that her parents genuinely seemed happy together. Something she had never seen, while she had known them. 

Lyra then glanced around the study as Pantalimion leaped upon the desk to sit on the edge near her, she noted the details around her father's study taking the room in having been in it for the first time. 

There were various accomplishments, photograms, and paintings upon the walls. Along with artifacts from various expeditions. 

In one corner, there were some giant wooden crates with straw containing things still needing to be unpacked. There also appeared to be a telescope by the window along with a marble stone bust of a man, Lyra did not recognize. 

Asriel went behind his desk towards a large tall painting along the wall directly behind it. He reached for the side of the large portrait where it pulled forward revealing a large safe built directly into the wooden panel finish wall.

Lyra peeked over towards Asriel to see what he was doing after seeing the large portrait move from the wall to reveal a large intricate safe.

Lyra noticed that this safe was not like any other she had seen before, it was intricate in detail where on the dial there were constellations and the combination consisted of a specific star pattern. 

Lyra’s curiosity grew as she watched, Asriel put in the correct constellations upon the lock opening the safe with a click. Asriel turned the handle opening the vast safe revealing a rucksack, a familiar one Lyra had looked after for a couple of months recently. 

Asriel opened the rucksack and shifted some papers grabbing two items and stacking one on top of the other before closing the safe up properly and moving the large painting back into place as if it hadn’t been moved at all. 

Asriel made glances towards the closed door, raising an eyebrow as he had heard something outside the door. Only to hear a slight sound from up above towards the ceiling edge from the various vents. 

There was a light faint metal bump before a low growl of frustration and screeching before there were retreating footsteps in the vents above. 

Asriel sighed in relief, he was thankful the vents did not reach his study. His father had it built into the estate for that reason, in order for no one to spy upon meetings. It appears Marisa had learned that the hard way, he figured she would try to listen in on him and Lyra. 

Asriel then softly relaxed as he once more turned towards Lyra, who had heard the commotion in the ceiling vents as well. The girl appeared to know exactly what had transpired above as if she had figured out Marisa’s daemon prefers roaming around in the vents; Asriel smirked in surprise. Lyra was more intelligent than he had previously thought. 

Asriel then turned towards facing Lyra, the girl stood at attention waiting.

Asriel placed Lyra’s journal and the alethiometer which sat on top of the journal on top of the desk in between them. Lyra’s eyes widened at the sight of them, she hadn’t seen the alethiometer in what felt like a long time. It was nice to see her journal however she mostly was entranced by the alethiometer.

Asriel noting her staring at the alethiometer then lifted it up and held it out towards Lyra. 

“I believe this.....belongs in better hands” Lyra then slowly reaches her fingers towards the alethiometer. Before she picks it up from her father’s hand, Asriel halts, pulling it slightly back from towards Lyra with his words. 

"I want to be able to trust you Lyra, you must not let your mother see it and know of it. Do you understand?" 

“I understand”

Lyra nodded her head in understanding before he finally gave it to her.

It still struck her as odd that everyone wished for Lyra to hide the alethiometer from her mother. First the Master and now her father as well, Pan tilted his head in thought pushing for Lyra to inquire about it. 

"Why hide it from her, can't mother be trusted?"

Asriel sighed before leaning over the edge of his desk, where the various photograms sat. Asriel glanced towards one in particular.

It was of them together, from a time long ago in a gold ornate frame. Marisa and himself, smiling for once together at a gala at the arctic institute many years ago. Asriel pulled his eyes away as his mind left the ghost of a taste upon his lips and a jolt in his heart. 

He shifted his eyes upon the photogram of them all together as a family. Asriel remembered fondly, Lyra had been antsy to sit still for the duration it had been taken. She really is a perfect mix of them both.

Stelmaria stood in between Lyra and Asriel glancing at Lyra and Pan with caring eyes, Pan boldly made his way close to Stelmaria where she eyed him with interest and care. As he currently mimicked her snow leopard form as a cub.

"While I trust your mother with your life. There are certain things and or mostly people that may cause more trouble than good, if you’re mother were to know of its existence let alone it was in your possession. It would place you into grave danger……….I promised I would protect you and protect you I shall. You have my word Lyra"

Asriel who had been keeping his gaze upon their family portrait was taken aback when he felt a figure hit into his chest and snake their arms around him.

Lyra had slammed into her father where he stood, hugging him with such love. Asriel then awkwardly with a soft surprising smile then returned the embrace by wrapping his arms around his daughter. 

Stelmaria had Pan then lean into her side, she hovered protectively purring slightly. 

Asriel had never been much for emotions, not in many many years. Lyra happened to be very effective in destroying all the restraint he had built up all of these past years. 

Lyra smiled and melted into her father’s arms where she felt safe and for once felt wanted, something she had always wanted.

Back when she only knew him to be her uncle, she longed for affection and love. She still did, she finally was able to hug the man. He even accepted the embrace, even going as far as returning it. 

Asriel clutched the back of Lyra’s head close to him as if she was still the baby he held close to his heart long ago when she had been born. He sighed at the moment, as he suppressed feelings and emotions deeply buried. 

Asriel then released Lyra only to grip Lyra’s arms to hold her in front of him, he held a proud look in his eyes and a heartfelt smile upon his face as he gazed upon his child. 

This was his child, he could provide her with opportunities he thought that had been stripped of them. He could raise Lyra like he had planned all those years ago when Lyra had been born and he would. 

He noticed how Lyra smiled back at him with a cheeky warm smile which reminded him of Marisa.

“Now...it’s best you run off and find a safe place for it before your mother tracks you down. I have work I must attend to, I will see you at dinner”

Lyra smirked at her father before taking her journal from the desk along with the alethiometer Asriel had given her and exiting the study. 

Lyra turned the steel doorknob before exiting the study making sounds echoing down the corridor before sneaking off towards her bedroom along with Pan who happily trailed beside her looking up towards Lyra occasionally. 

Asriel watched the pair exit, noting how they reminded Asriel or Stelmaria and himself at their age. The same mischievous behavior and playfulness between each other. 

* * *

Lyra smiled as Pan and she roamed the corridors leaving Asriel’s study, she clutched her journal and the alethiometer as she glanced around insight of her mother hoping she reached her bedroom before her mother found her. 

Lyra made quick steps reaching her bedroom. She opened her door before closing the door slightly to block the view of the bedroom from the corridor. Lyra then looked around her bedroom in search of a perfect hiding place for the alethiometer where her mother wouldn’t dare look. 

Lyra spent a great deal of time searching and finding multiple places however Pan would convince her it was too predictable or too out in the open to be found. 

As Lyra walked past her bed towards one of the corners of the room Pan scurried under the bed in an ermine form scampering his paws across the wood flooring finding the floorboards creaked in one area when he walked across it. 

Pan pressed one paw on the area once more testing it making the floorboards creak there once more producing the sound. 

“Lyra!” Pan whispered in a yell to get Lyra’s attention, she smirked before bending down on the floor to crawl under the bed on her knees before laying on her stomach finding the floorboards that Pan had walked over.

It was loose under two floorboards in the center under the bed, Lyra grunted slightly as she pried the floorboard up revealing a compartment space covered with a soft golden cloth providing the space to be free of dust. 

Lyra smiled at the sight 

“Look, Pan!” 

Pan swishes his tail back and forth showing his interest and pleasure at having found the hiding spot. 

Lyra then glanced around and listened out for anyone approaching. She then opened the alethiometer with curiosity as she moved the dials thinking in thought for a moment or two before closing it and placed the alethiometer in the compartment space before placing the loose floorboard back to the way it was as if it hadn’t been lifted. 

Lyra then shimmed out from under her bed, before getting off her knees and collapsing onto her bed breathing out as Pan leaped upon it as well joining her. Lyra leaned back on top of her bed covers laying her head on her bed pillows before taking her small pillow into her hands to mindlessly twirl around. 

“I’m glad we found that place” Pan spoke to Lyra appearing at her eye level. 

“Me too, now all we have to do is not let mother find out about it”

* * *

Marisa had heard Lyra exit Asriel’s study and had gone off in search of her for dinner, just at this moment she reached Lyra’s open door to hear low voices of Lyra and Pan talking. Marisa held out a hand to halt the golden monkey from entering, as she was able to listen in on her daughter and her daemon. 

“It’s different calling her mother, everything has changed” 

Pan expressed, showing Lyra’s deep down feelings and concern. Lyra took a moment to respond in thought as she then hugged the small pillow to her chest insecurely. 

“I know…..” 

Lyra murmured in the thought of past events and the current situation facing her. It was a lot and on top of it all, they had just gained their memories back after having amnesia and everything that came with it; the seizure. 

“I don’t want it to happen again. I’m scared Pan…...when it happened we had no control…...it was like…...the whole world stopped and there was nothing we could do” 

Lyra shuddered to breathe out into a sigh as she remembered having the seizure and losing their memories. Lyra hugged her pillow tight for comfort, as Pan came close to her face before brushing his head against Lyra’s cheek. 

“Hopefully that will never happen again, we have father and mother to protect us now. Right?” Pan inquired, attempting to sound optimistic while being unsure. 

Lyra sighed a sullen look upon her face, as she thought of her newfound parents. 

“When we lived at Jordan college, we were alone. Apart from Roger….Now, like everything else things have changed. I dunno Pan, they even have changed. Suddenly they care about us, we're to be a family. It’s….we don’t know what a family is like” 

“Perhaps we are cautious and see what happens"

Lyra nodded in agreement with Pan before settling upon her bed feeling a bit sleepy, she felt with her heart as she spoke.

"Pan......do you think she loves us?”

Lyra asked in a whispering raw emotional voice to Pan, wondering if what they had witnessed in the past couple of days is true. 

“We've never had someone care for us before, no one's loved us before. No matter if she loves us now. We'll never forget she still abandoned us"

"Can we forgive her?"

"I don't know….maybe"

This time Pan did not have an answer, downcast in thoughts and feelings. 

Marisa outside the doorway hearing Lyra, swallowed her emotions, as she suppressed as her eyes held some moisture. Feelings of regret, guilt, and resentment of her past bubbled to the surface as she fought to retreat from those thoughts and feelings for it would lead to an outburst fueled by resentment of herself. 

She wouldn’t admit it to herself, that she had abandoned Lyra. Even though it was true, she struggled to hold onto the strong belief that the past did not matter for she and Asriel were here now. 

Lyra would be fine, they would be fine. Marisa fought her internal mind, that she had done the right thing. She had done right by Lyra, keeping her safe by sending her away with Asriel. Safe… safe….from her.

Marisa sighed, as she held onto the wall as the weight of her thoughts consumed her, Ozymandias then came close to her legs reaching for her hand in comfort. Marisa then scorned in disdain towards her daemon, ashamed. She didn’t deserve sympathy, she slapped his hand hard before lightly shaking her head as if to get rid of her past thoughts. 

Marisa’s delicate nail’s pressed upon Lyra’s bedroom door pushing it lightly open, she peeked in with a searching look. 

"Lyra?" 

Marisa peeked into the room surprising Lyra and Pan collectively at her sudden appearance as she slid into the room pushing Lyra’s bedroom door open slightly. 

Marisa caught sight of Lyra upon her large bed in the center of the room against the wall, she held the door handle in one hand peering into the bedroom. 

“There you are….have you seen your...father?”

“He was in his study last I saw him” Lyra spoke softly, eyeing her from the bed holding the pillow she had been fiddling with to her chest, with Pan by her shoulder. 

Marisa seeing Lyra upon her bed resting, made her slightly nervous so she left the doorway and approached Lyra’s bed with careful steps. She sat upon the edge sitting beside where Lyra laid upon the pillows, Marisa brushed her fingers upon Lyra’s forehead fixing the girl’s hair slightly before lightly grazing her fingers upon Lyra’s head injury and bandages still upon her head.

“How are you feeling hmm?” 

Lyra hesitated before relaxing, closing her eyes leaning into her touch, relaxing sighing before reopening her eyes looking down at the bedcovers not meeting her mother’s concerned searching gaze in an effort to avoid giving away too much.

“Fine” 

Lyra attempted to brush her off, only to be met with Marisa sighing loudly.

“Lyra….you know I don't like you lying to me” Marisa inquired, disappointed Lyra wasn’t telling her the truth.

“Alright….it’s hurting” 

Lyra fessed up, while still trying to downplay her symptoms. 

“You’ll have your pain medication at dinner, along with your regular medication. I believe it will be an early night for you”

“But-” 

Lyra whined not wanting to go to bed early, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t her fault she had gotten hurt, it was those men chasing her. 

“Lyra, there is a reason things are the way they are. You wish to get better, don’t you”

“Yes, but-”

“No but’s Lyra, this is for your own good….do you understand?” 

There was a moment of silence, as Lyra pouted slightly annoyed. She was being treated like a baby, she wasn’t a baby. She was thirteen, almost fourteen. However, she did wish to get better; especially avoid any further trips to the hospital. 

She hated the hospital, they poked and prodded her with needles and tests. She hated it there, it also had a weird smell. 

Lyra sighed loudly with displeasure, however, conceded.

“Yes” 

Marisa’s eyebrows furrowed in thought as she saw how disappointed and upset Lyra was, the girl simply wished to be normal once more already. She was impatient and stubborn like her father, it made Marisa smile and look upon Lyra’s face softly.

Marisa cupped Lyra’s face in one of her hand’s comforting Lyra, who still looked down sullenly. 

“I know, it is hard darling. However, it is for the best in order for you to heal. You're still delicate, we don’t want to have any more accidents…..alright?” 

Lyra softly nodded listening to her mother, she knew her mother was right with this. She had to get better in order to see Roger and to feel somewhat normal again. 

Marisa then rubbed her thumb along Lyra's cheek before letting go of her face with a soft smile. She rose from Lyra's bed before brushing off her dress, fixing herself.

"Well, I am going to go check on your father. Dinner in an hour, I expect you to come down at that time”

Marisa breathed out smiling as she announced her exit. She then gave Lyra a demanding no-nonsense expression as she requested Lyra at dinner on time before she left Lyra's bedroom.

Pan turned to Lyra and Lyra towards Pan once Marisa was gone.

"We aren't going to dinner on time are we?"

"Nope"

Lyra smirked mischievously before getting up from the bed before checking the corridor for her mother before running off towards the manor's grounds and gardens to explore and finally go outside. 

* * *

Lyra had left the study door open when she had left, Asriel had since sat at his desk before glazing over various reports from his previous research.

He had become absorbed in his work, he fashioned small thin metal glasses upon the edge of his nose as he glanced over various notes and scribbled part of an equation among others scribbled frantically upon the piece of paper. 

One could hear the pen making sounds within the study along with the ticking of the grand clock upon one of the farthest corners of the room. Stelmaria was lying upon the carpet underneath the desk comfortably eyeing the door from time to time more focused on licking her paws and cleaning herself to pass the time as Asriel scribbled away enraptured within his work.

Asriel was slightly tense as he crossed out sections of formula while trying to solve an equation showing the mathematical aspect of everything within his notes in order to help provide the magisterium with something tangible in order for them all to be left in peace for a while. 

Asriel angrily crossed out another section before pinching the bridge of his nose and forehead in frustration, when he then suddenly felt soothing hands slink upon his shoulders massaging them relaxing him instantly at the touch. 

Asriel sighed as he kept his head down still upon the desk feeling those familiar hands. 

“I knew you would seek me out sooner or later today”

“Yes well, it is nearly time for dinner. I simply figured to check in on you”

“You simply wished to check my progress” 

Asriel scoffed playfully knowing the woman to always have an alternative motive within her mind's eye. He then continued to pretend to continue his work as if to ignore her, one thing Marisa Coulter did not like was to be ignored. 

Marisa still standing by his desk noticed his movements and in an effort to distract Asriel and to bring his focus back into the conversation she then sat upon the desk. Her legs lightly crossing in a sultry way instantly grabbing Asriel’s attention back upon her. 

“Any advancements?” 

Marisa inquired, interested and desperate to know, knowing what would be at stake if certain semantics and sections were not figured out and sorted soon. The magisterium's focus would be once more upon them, even more, troubling on Lyra. 

“Unfortunately no, the calculations seem to be missing something. That of which still eludes me”

“If we don’t figure this out….you know what will happen”

Asriel turned his head towards Marisa where she was situated hovering over his shoulder glancing at the current paper he had been working upon; he gave her a bold expression. 

“I know what is at stake more than anyone, no matter what happens Lyra will be safe. I will make sure of that”

Marisa attempted to meet his gaze as Asriel sighed his shoulders lowering in frustration as if he was holding back words and thoughts.

“Will you now?”

Asriel then stood up from his desk chair as Marisa questioned his words not knowing what he meant, he then began to pick up the various pieces of paper on the desk containing his notes and the various equations he had been working on. 

He tucked them away into his notebooks into his desk drawer, closing it shut with a sigh, knowing from the route this conversation was headed he wouldn’t get any more work done this day. 

“How do you propose you’d accomplish that?” 

Marisa continued to ask, wanting an answer from him, as she narrowed her eyes becoming slightly impatient. 

Asriel said nothing, keeping silent as he internally debated telling her his alternative plan for when and if everything went all wrong. Asriel knowing the Magisterium it was only a matter of time until it did, for now, everything was fine. He held his silence as he walked towards the open window showing a view into the garden, placing his hand upon his chin in contemplation and restraint.

“There is always a way” 

Marisa scoffed harshly at his answer, as her eyes darkened.

“Some old Asriel, always having a plan and cutting others out of it….. You haven’t changed one bit” she spat out as her feelings clouded her judgment as resentment, guilt, and heartbreak seeped its way in. 

Asriel’s jaw clenched as Stelmaria then began to growl viciously with danger as she stalked in front of Asriel facing Marisa and Ozymandias; Asriel then turned around to face Marisa head-on. 

He was tired of running.

“If I recall you were quite happy with abandoning your daughter”

“I did not abandon her, I left her with her father!” 

“You never looked back for twelve years and eleven months!”

“And I have to live with that for the rest of my life, but I’m here now. Here….here for **her** and I will be damned if I _lose_ her again!”

“What changed?.......There were so many studies and discoveries you wished to achieve, things you wanted to do!”

“I wanted to do them with you, I blame you for thinking you knew what was best for me. When it was you that was best for me!” 

Asriel then cupped Marisa’s chin in both of his hands bringing her suddenly close into a deep kiss that had been held back for many years. They kissed passionately holding each other close as if merging into one, melting into each other’s arms. Perfectly molded for each other. 

Both powerful and threatening as the might of passion possessed them both as Asriel dominated Marisa as she dominated him. Both struggling for air as they backed up into the wall with a thump from the strength of Asriel.

They were enraptured with one another transported through time to the very last time they were in a similar situation years ago. Asriel broke their kiss slowly lowering his lips to Marisa’s smooth neck, he wasn’t rough so much as she saw him as grounding as she breathed heavily making intense eye contact with Asriel which was returned as the two lived in the moment together. 

* * *

Unaware of what mischief Lyra had gotten up to.


	20. Glimpse of Freedom

Lyra and Pan sprinted ahead.

The wind whipping her hair and the sun shined brightly upon Lyra’s paler than normal face. She closed her eyes briefly as the warmth from the sun melted into her face and skin. 

Lyra smiled brightly as she opened her honey brown eyes, the sun reflecting upon them as she looked to see which direction to run off in. 

They were free, it reminded Lyra of her times at Jordan college. 

Pan leaped beside Lyra gleefully as Lyra bore a wide warm smile upon her face as they ran amongst the various colorful flowers along the estate grounds and leading to the vast miles long garden. There was life everywhere in the garden, long stretches of grass and flowers all coordinated to be different colors and designed to a beautiful sight. 

Lyra knew she couldn’t be out long, she knew her mother and father would be furious and freak out frightened that she might get hurt or strain her still healing head. Lyra being a child and the rebellious feral child she is, went outside anyway, she missed the fresh air and warmth of the sun. She didn’t care if she got into trouble, it was worth it to her. 

Lyra got to see and explore the vast lands that were the Belacqua estate, there were vast fields, multiple water fountains and ponds as well as a swimming pool and an extensive garden sealed off that from glancing at the top of the stone entrance contained a hedge maze. There was much more to explore than what was available at Jordan college. 

Lyra discovered to her amazement that the flowers upon the land were arranged and planted into colorful patterns all over showing grand designs. Someone must have planned them out when building and gardening, it was impressive. Lyra hadn’t seen anything like it before, it only reminded Lyra a bit of the botanical gardens.

Lyra’s favorite part on the grounds was this grand ancient-looking tree that had been on the lands for many generations. The branches sheltered over like a canopy vast and plentiful, they were thick and spaced out so it was a dream for any climber. 

When Lyra approached it she glanced over it in awe looking over how the sunlight peeked through only some spots underneath it where leaves covered as if a blanket. She approached the trunk and lower branches with a hesitant face as if thinking for a moment before beginning to climb. 

“Lyra no, we’ll be in even more trouble than we already are!” Pan scolded warning Lyra not to climb the tree, Lyra grunted attempting to climb before looking at Pan. 

“But it’ll be fun Pan!” she tried to convince her daemon that the view at the top and the struggle would be worth the potential trouble they would get into further. 

Lyra tried to climb onto another branch when suddenly.

“Lyra Belacqua!” 

Then Lyra’s grip and her grasp on the branch she was on slightly slipped causing the young girl to suddenly fall.

* * *

Thorold was frantic as he sped walked down the vast halls of the estate whispering in shouts “Lyra?!?” the girl was nowhere to be found, nowhere in sight. His master would kill him, for letting the girl slip away and out of sight. 

“Where are you girl?” he muttered to himself and his daemon whose paw’s padded on the floor running into open doorways checking for the young little miss with no luck. 

Thorold had gone to fetch Lyra for dinner announcing it was ready and that it was time to take her medication, only to find her not in her bedroom where she had last been spotted. 

The more Thorold searched his anxiety climbed exponentially higher with each step. 

Mr. and Mrs. Belacqua would kill him and skin him alive if anything happened to the girl on his watch let alone if he lost her. They just got her back. 

  
  


Thorold had checked everywhere before he made it to Asriel’s study to inform the parents, he squeezed his cap in his hands nervously after taking it off his head. His dog daemon whimpered with her head bowed down in fear.

“Sir!” 

He had to tell them fast, he then quickly opened the door in search of Marisa and Asriel, only to walk in as the two were wrapped in each other’s embrace upon Asriel’s now cleared off desk. Part of Mrs. Belacqua’s dress was off one of her shoulders. 

The two then broke apart at the interruption, Asriel had lipstick smeared on his right cheek and multiple places upon his neck. 

Thorold quickly averted his eyes, mumbling an apology for the intrusion, he fought off the blush upon his face from embarrassment. It wasn’t the first time he had seen these two in this position and he knew on his mother’s grave it wouldn’t be the last. 

“Thorold what is it, can’t you see we are indisposed at the moment!” Asriel barked angrily and frustrated near growling like a dog being denied his food. 

“I’m sorry sir for my intrusion, however, I went to fetch Miss Lyra for dinner only to not find her in her bedroom let alone anywhere inside!”

“What!?!” Marisa quickly sprung up fixing herself and the top of her dress, as her motherly instincts kicked into high gear, and her anger pulsed at the news of her child missing. Again. 

Marisa strode up from the desk and quickly cat walked powerfully out the door of Asriel’s study and in search of her wayward rebellious heart-attack-inducing child. 

Thorold and Asriel looked at each other before then rushing to follow the hell-bent powerful woman in search of her child. 

* * *

  
  


“ooff”

Lyra landed in an area of a large muddy puddle near the base of the tree, covering the girl in mud and water ruining the dress she was wearing and covering Pan completely as well. Mud covered most of Lyra’s face, Lyra made moves to wipe it away and off her face to the best of her ability. She groaned at the situation and the mess she had now physically now landed in.

“Lyra!” she heard rushing steps on the ground charge towards her quickly. 

Lyra then felt strong arms then reached around her waist hoisting her up on their side picking her up and begging to walk away from the mud with her in their arms. 

“ugh!”

Pan’s was then hoisted by the neck gently by Stelmaria within her mouth as a snow leopard did with their cubs prancing after Asriel who carried a filthy dirtied Lyra back to the manor on foot. 

“Let me go, I can walk!” Lyra shouted out squirming in her father’s grip as he carried her haphazardly on his side as if she were a sack of potatoes or a pile of academic texts. 

“You are in a heap of trouble, young lady. Even more so when your mother set her eyes on you” Asriel fought off chuckles at his feral and dirty child as she squirmed in his grip and weakly hit him as if he would let go. He attempted to keep a stone stern face, as he kept his composure knowing he had to be serious and disciplinarian. 

Once Lyra heard him mention her mother she stopped her weak fighting and slumped in his grip, now realizing the fate she put herself in and what she could expect when they reached the estate. 

It wasn’t long until she heard her mother shout worriedly and frantic “Lyra!” Marisa ran up to Asriel who was walking on the cobblestone drive leading to the front of the estate where Marisa had been waiting with her arms crossed as Asriel and Thorold had split up to find Lyra on the grounds. 

Asriel then hoisted Lyra off of his side, planting the girl in front of his wife on her own two feet. It was at this moment Marisa realized Lyra’s state, covered in mud and filth. Her dress ruined, at the sight, Marisa’s face had begun to twitch. Lyra nearly smiled seeing her mother so speechless and bothered, it was a tiny victory pushing her mother’s buttons for what she did by lying to her. 

Only one look at her mother’s daemon whipped that off her face instantly, as Stelmaria then dumped Pan gently right in front of Marisa and Ozymandias. 

Lyra stood there with Asriel right behind her, he placed his hands upon Lyra’s shoulders either to present her as an achievement to Marisa that their child was rambunctious and as tenacious as him or to prevent Lyra from running away. He did so because of both reasons, as Asriel held a smirk upon his face as Marisa internally combusted at seeing her little angel, her little girl who was so like her in so many ways filthy and muddied right in front of her eyes. 

“Inside” was the only word Marisa muttered and managed to get out through her internal anger and clenched teeth, Lyra’s eyes held fear and hesitation as she nearly shook as Asriel guided her inside and upstairs to her bedroom and more importantly the bathroom. 

* * *

  
  


“Ow, that’s hot. It hurts!” Lyra cried out as Marisa tugged her arm scrubbing with a vengeance in her efforts to scrub her child’s arm of all the mud and dirt upon it. The soapy water was turning a shade of brown as the mud washed off Lyra who was within the bath still dirty. 

“It’s going to hurt in order to get this disgusting mud off, I can’t believe you would do such a thing Lyra! After I explicitly told you that you were not permitted outside until you were better” Marisa grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with soap and water before scrubbing her rambunctious child who pouted within the bathtub with her arms crossed. 

“I wanted to go outside, I feel like a prisoner” Lyra whined to her mother with an attempt at a convincing tone. 

“Well it’s for your own good, you’re father and I have sacrificed a lot in order to keep you safe. To be together. The least you can do is to stay away from danger and listen as you are told. End of” 

“But-”

“But what, did I or did I not tell you not to go outside?!?”

“Yes” Lyra sighed knowing her mother was right

“Yes, and what did you learn today when you do not listen to your mother?”

“I got covered in mud” Lyra quipped with a bit of an attitude as she sulked in the bath full of bubbles, frustrated with herself knowing her mother was right. She didn’t want to agree with her after all she had done, Lyra no longer trusted as she had many months ago in London. 

“Lyra” Marisa scolded her child, stopping her scrubbing for a moment, giving Lyra a nonverbal warning with her eyes. Lyra fearful of another attack from Ozymandias quickly answered her mother, unwillingly as she bit out a response. 

“I fell and got hurt” Lyra met her mother’s eyes which were analyzing her face and staring at her intensely. Instead of the plain harshness, she’s seen in her mother’s eyes, it was clear to Lyra her mother was concerned as she looked into her eyes. 

“Exactly, you got hurt. You need to trust me Lyra, you need to trust us. We are only trying to look after you. Keep you safe, do you understand?” 

“Yes, I understand” Lyra did understand, she had just wanted to go outside. She was still a child after all. 

“That’s my girl” Marisa cupped Lyra’s chin gently with such love, as she softly smiled at her daughter with approval pleased she had agreed with her. Happy to be with her daughter, claiming Lyra as her’s. Her child, at last. 

* * *

They all had dinner in silence, save for Thorold talking to Asriel about some tasks he needed to be completed. Lyra ate some however pushed around her food knowing her mother and father were going to speak to her after dinner. 

After dinner, Lyra was escorted to the lounge along with Marisa and Asriel, who all throughout dinner were having a silent conversation with one another with their eyes. 

Lyra’s hair was still slightly damp as she sat upon the sofa near the fire as her parents both stared her down. They sat across from Lyra together on the adjacent sofa, both giving Lyra hard stares over her actions and mulling over the ‘excitement’ of the day.

“I believe we’ve all had quite the excitement today to last us all a long while” Asriel attempted to start the conversation, not knowing how to discipline Lyra let alone any child having never acted as a father in all the years Lyra has existed. Leaving the discipline to Charles and the Master who looked after Lyra along with last he heard some maid. 

“The garden was nice-” Lyra spoke in a timid unsure voice, hoping to ease the situation and break the silence. It did not work. 

“You do know your escapade of the gardens has landed you in trouble” Asriel inquired, making sure Lyra knew the gravity of the situation and seriousness of her disobedience. 

Lyra kept her head down however she glanced upwards towards her father, knowing he was right and that she was in trouble. Marisa then glanced with Asriel meeting his gaze as if to silently say that she would take over from here. 

“Starting tomorrow you will be reading and or an approved activity with me every day. Where you will stay by my side at all times or with your father while he works in his study if I am unavailable. Do I make myself clear Lyra?” 

Lyra’s jaw, if it was physically possible, would be on the floor for being open so wide at the shock of what her mother just told her. 

“Yes, but-”

“Lyra there will be no and or buts, end of discussion. As a member of the Belacqua family, you are and will be expected to behave in a certain manner. One of respect and proper manners for someone of your standing. You may have run amok at Jordan college with the servants' children, however, you are finally where you belong. You are a young lady and you will act like it, do I make myself clear?” 

Lyra’s jaw clenched as she was told off for her behavior, her mother had gone further than she should have. She had no right. 

“You can’t just come back after all these years and expect me to accept both of you as my parents and force me to conform to this new life. You didn’t raise me for thirteen years. You don’t know me and I certainly do not know you” Lyra then leaped up from the sofa before storming off out of the room and up the stairs with Pan following hesitant at first before sprinting after Lyra. 

“Lyra, Lyra!” Marisa furiously called out for her daughter standing up from the sofa as if to stop her with her commanding voice, it failed to work. 

There were hard steps as Lyra stormed all the way to her bedroom before eventually slamming her bedroom door so loud it echoed throughout the estate. Thorold even heard it from deep within the kitchens where he was currently conversing with the staff; they all flinched at the noise. 

Asriel sighed upon the sofa next to a now fuming Marisa who was trying to control her anger and heavy breathing in reaction to Lyra’s exit and words as she sat back down. 

“Well….that went well” 

Marisa turned her scowl towards her husband, making him almost regret his words. 

“She doesn’t see us as her parents” Marisa spoke softly with an edge as it dawned on her how Lyra was feeling. She had hoped in bringing them all together, everything would click and all would be forgiven. She would be seen and respected as Lyra’s mother, she sees now how wrong she was. 

Asriel reached for Marisa’s hand, gripping her hand gently before bringing it up to his lips to kiss comfortingly before wrapping his other arm around the back of the sofa and his wife bringing her close to him. Marisa melted within his arms, as she fought tears from escaping her eyes. 

“It will take some time, this is new for all of us. Lyra will come around” 

While Asriel's words had helped a bit, it still didn’t negate the deep feeling within her heart and pit of Marisa’s stomach that deep down her mother and the whispers from people during Asriel’s trial were right. 

She wasn’t capable of being a mother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I am pleased to tell you that this story is not abandoned and will continue. I have just been busy and with covid thrown into the mix, it's been chaos. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if so please leave a comment. It means the world to me and lets me know that people want this story to continue. 
> 
> See you hopefully next chapter!


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